[Mrs. VanDort]
It's a beautiful day
[Mr. VanDort]
It's a rather nice day
[Mrs. VanDort]
A day for a glorious wedding
[Mr. VanDort]
A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear
[Mrs. VanDort]
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding
[Mr. VanDort]
Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know
[Mrs. VanDort]
That nothing unexpected interferes with the show
[Mr. & Mrs. VanDort]
And that's why everything, every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go
[Mrs. VanDort]
According to plan
[Mr. VanDort]
Our son will be married
[Mrs. VanDort]
According to plan
[Mr. VanDort]
Our family carried
[Mr. & Mrs. VanDort]
We'll go right into to the heights of society
[Mrs. VanDort]
To the costume balls
[Mr. VanDort]
In the hallowed halls
[Mrs. VanDort]
Rubbing elbows with the finest
[Mr. VanDort]
Having crumpets with her highness
[Mr. & Mrs. VanDort]
We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen
We'll forget everything that we've ever ever been
[Mrs. Everglot]
It's a terrible day
[Mr. Everglot]
Now don't be that way
[Mrs. Everglot]
It's a terrible day for a wedding
[Mr. Everglot]
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in
[Mrs. Everglot]
That has led to this ominous wedding
[Mr. Everglot]
How could our family have come to this?
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
To marry off our daughter to the noveaux-rich
[Mrs. Everglot]
They're so common
[Mr. Everglot]
So coarse
[Mrs. Everglot]
Oh, it couldn't be worse!
[Mr. Everglot]
It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree
It could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy
Without a penny to their name, just like you and me
[Mrs. Everglot]
Oh, dear
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
And that's why everything, every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go
[Mrs. Everglot]
According to plan
[Mr. Everglot]
Our daughter will wed
[Mrs. Everglot]
According to plan
[Mr. Everglot]
Our family lead
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
From the depths of deepest poverty
[Mrs. Everglot]
To the noble realm
[Mr. Everglot]
Of our ancestors
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face
[Mr. Everglot]
Of an otter in disgrace
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
Would provide our ticket to our rightful place?
[Victoria]
What if Victor and I don't like each other?
[Mrs. Everglot]
Do you suppose your father and I like each other?
[Victoria]
Surely you must a little
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
Of course not!
[Mrs. Everglot]
Get those corsets laced properly, I can hear you speak without gasping
Marriage is a partnership. A little tit-for-tat
You'd think a lifetime watching us might have taught her that
Might have taught her that
[Mr. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect
[Mrs. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect
[Mr. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect
[Mr. & Mrs. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect, perfect
[The VanDorts and the Everglots]
That's why everything, every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go according to plan!
