I was heading for my my mountain home Where all the latest names are Jones Where husband works back late at night His hopes are up for trousers down With a hostess on a business flight Taxi in a Mercedes drive I hope that driver's coming out alive The garden it is Dorsettive That lady she's so corsetive She's got fifteen ways To lead that boy astray He thinks he's one and only But that lovely She's so lonely She pumps him full of breakfast And she sends him on his way
What a sing-song dance What a performance What a cheap tent show Oh no, no, no, no, no
Then the boys light up
Excitedly she opens the drawer Mother's littles helper Is coming out for more Strategically positioned Before the midday show The back is arched Those lips are parched Repeated blow by blow Later, at the party, all the MPs rave 'Bout the hummers she's been giving And the money that they save To her it is skin lotion In promotion to That flat in Surfer's Paradise With the ocean view
What a sing-song dance What a performance What a cheap tent show Oh no, no, no, no, no
