Uncaged

So Nicolas Cage is playing Joe Exotic? It's a terrible casting man!
Ha ha, he should be playing the Tiger!

Step to the Cage, and Nic is quick to rip ya face off
Just like he did in my favorite film, Face Off
Ya know the one where he and Sean Archer faced off?
Swapped places, put each other's face on?
But I'm not John Travolta, I'm Castor Troy
I like my guns gold-plated and I'll cap your boy, oh
Better get off that carousel, I'll shoot ya
But I'll never grab your ass without a Hallelujah

Wait, Joe Exotic getting played by Nicolas
All he has to do is look like he's got syphilis
Be the Tiger king you gotta lower your appraisal
And just like in Raising Arizona, gotta snatch kids from cradles
That movie's crazy, kidnap a baby out of his carriage
Getting beat down heavily just to fix his broken marriage
An underrated film, hope he won't break character around
The Tiger amateurs going straight for another limb

Cast your mind back fifty five hundred days
The take of a life is in the sight of one Benjamin Gates
Historian delving deep into the artifacts and tracks
Like the Indiana Jones of America's past
A fist of cash for your leisure in your pocket is the game
Got a National Treasure on the docket for today
But never say the Ben Gates has ever been late to a date
With Ben Frank's traces scattered in the United States

Stepping to Nicolas, you gon' feel that Johnny Blaze
With the penance stare, he can take you out in just one gaze
Wasn't in the MCU, but he still paved the way
For all these other Marvel movies breaking records till this day
Got that fire head, and I ain't talking foreplay
Also brought some chains, and again they ain't for play
Rotten Tomatoes critics thinking that their all that
Ghost Rider bout to pull up and leave their skulls cracked

When you think Wicker, you might think furniture
Not Nick Cage facing crazy pagan murderers
Officer Malus wants a little girl returned
But you just gotta ask the critics to see how it got burned
Had to fight for his life through apiary acolytes
See, the Sisters want some honey so they need a sacrifice
It's hard to bear but at least we got the memes
Not the bees, not the bees, not the bees, not the bees!

Oh no, let's cut the rappin', let's make some magic happen
We watchin' wizards wielding plasma, lighting up Manhattan
When Cage be rocking mops on top then brother know that it's true
He's trainin' up a new Apprentice like Kenobi would do
Ooh yuh, Balthar that's the Blake yuh, here to mentor Dave yuh
An immortal warlock played by the immortal Cage yuh
Critics must be under mind control with all the hate yuh
This a magic movie that's more epic than Fantasia

I'm Tom Wales, I sat in that arm chair
Palms started to swell, I was watching a Bombshell
A girl stabbed to death, Mary Ann, had to make a plan, private eye
Trying to find the guy in the mask disguise
A deep dive in the world of porn and snuff
I'm back for revenge, Big Eddie, your warnings up
Killed the machine when rage started to fill up
I saw the biggest secrets lies up in Eight Millimeters

Because Nicolas Cage is the Tiger
The type of man who cannot be tamed
So when you try to Cage up the Tiger
You'll bring the Tiger right out the Cage

Nick Cage and David Lynch, what a tight combo
In Wild At Heart, Sailor Ripley was the bomb yo
With a snakeskin jacket, representing symbolically
His individuality and freedom hyperbolically
With Wizard of Oz references through out
Cage becomes a father, but Laura Dern is left in doubt
Will he love her tender? When he's out of prison?
A violent fairy tale full of very poor decisions

Peep the sequence, local cop got some sleazy secrets
Beautiful wife and a girlfriend that he can sleep with
Placing bets, Mondo! Dressing up like Don Ho
Got an eye on a blonde he's trying to take back to his condo
Whoa! Assassination in Atlantic City, save the victim
Spitting blood on this corrupt system
But Lil' Ricky rolled Snake Eyes, it's that easy
The house wins, but hey, at least he got on TV

Eight years and I didn't crack
I bought a bunny and I'll bring it back
He's in a bag in a box in a tube
That's rolling through the sky with a whole lotta rude dudes
A weak man might raise hands to the sky
Yelling why me, wiping cold sweat from his eyebrow
I'll be me, you can be John Malkovich
Either way put the bunny in the box bitch

Lord Of War, best movie in the arsenal
Nick Cage rages crazy as an animal
Did a line of blow, but mixed it with gunpowder
Sellin' more weapons, to all sides control and power
Did it for his country so he'll never get caught
Even Interpol agents starring Ethan Hawke
And a brother Jared Leto, can't get over the coke
Nick so tough he doesn't cry watching Jared gets smoked

When the Sun goes down, out come the nightcrawlers
And I'm about to get some blood on your white collar
I'll bite your neck, send you into wild bliss
Have a Band-Aid handy for my Vampire's Kiss
Call you Guano - you gone batshit
I mean Peter, what even is that accent? (Oh God)
Are you Nosferatu? Or could you be fakin'?
Either way, throw your shades on, and keep your cheap fangs in

Return of the king, not the Tiger just remember
Cage in his veteran role Joe Enders
Wind talking through all the fire and the embers
Based on true events, but it is Cage that we remember
Nobody can argue the heat that he brought us, got us fubar
People are dying, but we are complying, 'cause he is my sarge
Yeah you know he's untouchable, actor and chameleon
Disappear in every role I wish that I could meet him

Because Nicolas Cage is the Tiger
The type of man who cannot be tamed
So when you try to Cage up the Tiger
You'll bring the Tiger right out the Cage
Now listen this is the Nicolas Cage cypher
Tie him down, he'll fly off the chain
So if you think you can Cage up the Tiger
You'll bring the Tiger right out the Cage

Big daddy in your warehouse, ready to ass kick
Along with Hit Girl and our sidekick, Asskick
Me and my daughter leave your guts on the walls
Let's get sundaes after! Good call, baby doll
Ex-cop vigilante, but I'm incognito
You're about to meet the Reaper Frank D'Mico
Take cover child! Quick, hit the lights!
Now switch to Kryptonite!

Next up, Moonstruck, romantic leading man
Get the big knife, Camerierie lost his hand!
Tickets to the opera, Loretta lookin' pretty
Howl at the Moon, this is New York City!
Will Ronnie betray
His brother who's away?
Olympia Dukakis
Tryna get her rocks off
Call Frasier's dad and take him out to dinner
So sorry, Nick, Cher's the Oscar winner

This is the first person narrative voice of Charlie Kaufman
Trying to make a rap about a book but the outcome's
Not forthcoming, I've got writer's block
So let me pass to someone's who actually likes hip hop
My brother Donald taking over the script, a lyrical wrecking ball
That's pushing weight and moving bricks, that isn't a metaphor
I never mind the fourth, I break the fifth damn wall
Yeah, I look OK, I admit it man, I'm Dan Bull

Call me Peter Parker but I'm from the nineteen thirtys
Let the match run down to my fingers so I can feel it burning
Soul is hurting, death I'm flirting, perfect when I'm rhyming words
I'll stay repping, pulled into the webbing of the Spider-Verse
Beating up Nazis, the force of my punches is knocking them into the ground
Wow, I'm feeling profound, it's sickening seeing the state of the nation we've found
Uh, Spider-Noir, there's a reason why we have to fight
Don't talk about morality because to me it's black and white

The year is ninety six when Nick wasn't a risk
Michael Bay said stick him in the Rock and it'll be a hit
You've got James Bond calling the shots
Underneath the shower making future Call Of Duty plots
A classic case of chemical warfare
An upset general cause he's losing his own hair
The Cage yet again, part of action history
Saving San Francisco from what could've been it's misery

They call me Red, even tho my neck ain't
Middle-name is Revenge, and I'll get straight
With the cult that killed my Mandy, damn
I'll knock back some vodka, don't need any pants
Got an axe to grind, but first to forge one
Pick up a chainsaw, and forget your sword, son
I'll take a lot of licks, now I'm trippin' balls
They ripped my favorite shirt, now I'll kill 'em all

Because Nicolas Cage is the Tiger
The type of man who cannot be tamed
So when you try to Cage up the Tiger
You'll bring the Tiger right out the Cage
Now listen this is the Nicolas Cage cypher
Tie him down, he'll fly off the chain
So if you think you can Cage up the Tiger
You'll bring the Tiger right out the Cage