1. 1

    Bif Naked - Dawn

  2. 2

    Bif Naked - You Are The Master

  3. 3

    Bif Naked - 32 Fuetes

  4. 4

    Bif Naked - Abandonment

  5. 5

    Bif Naked - Alcohol Is The Root

  6. 6

    Bif Naked - Alcoholor Comedy

  7. 7

    Bif Naked - All You Ever Do

  8. 8

    Bif Naked - Alphabet Poem

  9. 9

    Bif Naked - Any Day Now

  10. 10

    Bif Naked - Anything

  11. 11

    Bif Naked - Back In The Day

  12. 12

    Bif Naked - Bluejay

  13. 13

    Bif Naked - Calling All

  14. 14

    Bif Naked - Canadians

  15. 15

    Bif Naked - Choking On The Truth

  16. 16

    Bif Naked - Chotee

  17. 17

    Bif Naked - Ciao, Bella

  18. 18

    Bif Naked - Crash And Burn

  19. 19

    Bif Naked - Cruel To Be Kind

  20. 20

    Bif Naked - Daddy's Getting Married

  21. 21

    Bif Naked - Dress

  22. 22

    Bif Naked - Eine Tasse Tee

  23. 23

    Bif Naked - Everyday

  24. 24

    Bif Naked - Everything

  25. 25

    Bif Naked - Factory Hot Rod

  26. 26

    Bif Naked - Fuck You 2

  27. 27

    Bif Naked - Funeral of a Good Girl

  28. 28

    Bif Naked - Funeral Of A Good Grrl

  29. 29

    Bif Naked - Gig Tits

  30. 30

    Bif Naked - Goodbye

  31. 31

    Bif Naked - Half A Day A Week

  32. 32

    Bif Naked - Henry

  33. 33

    Bif Naked - Hold On

  34. 34

    Bif Naked - Honeybee

  35. 35

    Bif Naked - I Died

  36. 36

    Bif Naked - I Love Myself Today

  37. 37

    Bif Naked - I Want

  38. 38

    Bif Naked - I'm Afraid Of Britney Spears

  39. 39

    Bif Naked - I'm Yer Peer

  40. 40

    Bif Naked - If I

  41. 41

    Bif Naked - Infected Tattoo

  42. 42

    Bif Naked - Insomnia

  43. 43

    Bif Naked - Intro

  44. 44

    Bif Naked - Isabelle

  45. 45

    Bif Naked - Ladybug Waltz

  46. 46

    Bif Naked - Leader

  47. 47

    Bif Naked - Let Down

  48. 48

    Bif Naked - Lifeline

  49. 49

    Bif Naked - Lucky

  50. 50

    Bif Naked - Make Like a Tree

  51. 51

    Bif Naked - Metal Queen

  52. 52

    Bif Naked - Moment Of Weakness

  53. 53

    Bif Naked - My Bike

  54. 54

    Bif Naked - My Innocence

  55. 55

    Bif Naked - My Satan Poem

  56. 56

    Bif Naked - My whole life

  57. 57

    Bif Naked - Never Alone

  58. 58

    Bif Naked - No Me Drink

  59. 59

    Bif Naked - Nothing Else Matters

  60. 60

    Bif Naked - Obsessed With Childhood

  61. 61

    Bif Naked - October Song

  62. 62

    Bif Naked - October Songs

  63. 63

    Bif Naked - Only The Girl

  64. 64

    Bif Naked - Over You

  65. 65

    Bif Naked - Papa Va Se Marier

  66. 66

    Bif Naked - Poem #357651

  67. 67

    Bif Naked - Porno Brainwash

  68. 68

    Bif Naked - Red Flag

  69. 69

    Bif Naked - Regular Guy

  70. 70

    Bif Naked - Religion

  71. 71

    Bif Naked - Rich And Filthy

  72. 72

    Bif Naked - Rock Star Man

  73. 73

    Bif Naked - Sick

  74. 74

    Bif Naked - Singin

  75. 75

    Bif Naked - Snowboarding

  76. 76

    Bif Naked - Sophia

  77. 77

    Bif Naked - Spaceman

  78. 78

    Bif Naked - Stolen Sidewalk

  79. 79

    Bif Naked - Story Of My Life

  80. 80

    Bif Naked - Stumpy The Mouse

  81. 81

    Bif Naked - Succulent

  82. 82

    Bif Naked - T.V. Baby

  83. 83

    Bif Naked - Tango Shoes

  84. 84

    Bif Naked - Tell On You (Letter To My Rapist)

  85. 85

    Bif Naked - Tengo Shoes

  86. 86

    Bif Naked - Test

  87. 87

    Bif Naked - That's Life

  88. 88

    Bif Naked - The Gross, Gross Man

  89. 89

    Bif Naked - The Letter

  90. 90

    Bif Naked - The Peacock Song

  91. 91

    Bif Naked - The Question Song

  92. 92

    Bif Naked - The World is Over

  93. 93

    Bif Naked - Twitch

  94. 94

    Bif Naked - Vampire

  95. 95

    Bif Naked - Violence

  96. 96

    Bif Naked - We Are Not Gonna Take It

  97. 97

    Bif Naked - We're Assholes

  98. 98

    Bif Naked - We're Not Gonna Take It

  99. 99

    Bif Naked - Yeah, You

  100. 100

    Bif Naked - You Got The Job

  101. 101

    Bif Naked - You Star Man

  102. 102

    Bif Naked - You'll Never Know

  103. 103

    Bif Naked - Zoinks!

Obsessed With Childhood

Bif Naked

I have to tell you I am obsessed with my childhood. I never pooped. I'm serious, I hated pooing, I never did it. I refused to poo as child. Mostly, I couldn't. It wasn't meat loaf, it wasn't chicken and rice, it wasn't six hot-dogs at lunch with Kraft Dinner on top, it wasn't Sloppy Joe's, it wasn't inactivity, I just never ever pooped. My parents had this house on Milinocket Court that had a bathroom upstairs. It had a door in the hallway and a door in the master bedroom. They used to close the hallway door, open the bedroom door, sit me on the potty and pull the t.v. in there you know, so I'd sit and watch and …wait. I mean hours. I must have been rotting insdie1 It would be like a week in between. You know, I discussed this at length with my mom, and she was concerned thinking she fed me too much meat and stuff. But you know what I say, my two sisters had no problem pooping, and they ate the same suppers. It was just me. I was sick as a child, I mean I was always sick.
If I fell off my bike and got a scrape, it would be infected. When I had the chicken pox, I was hospitalized because each pock was infected. Each one! In my eyelids, everywhere. The nurses had to dab each pock with a medicated cotton ball. My dad used to take us camping, and this one time I stepped on a dirty nail, you know, like rusty, with my barefoot. My whole hell became infected (laughs). It was hug! My heel was the size of a volleyball! I had to go to the doctor and get it drained. I was so ticklish all the time it took 5 or 6 doctors and nurses to hold me down and then the feeling of the lanced hell, and I was screaming. My older sister was laughing her head off, right there. I had scarletina this one time, and was quarantined. I had a tonsillectomy. I even remember one time in the hospital, of course for you know the reason. A nurse was trying to put a suppository in my rear end. I was squirming and wrigglin' and gigglin'. You know, cause I was getting tickled. Then I'd cry, c
ause I was all tense, you know, and it hurt. Sooner or later, I had to make a run for it to the bathroom. Boy, those nurses sure got mad at me for leavin' a trail. Someone's always mad, hey? You know, I took lots of things as a kid; ballet and jazz, dance, soccer, piano. I was always in trouble, always bein' a ham. When I was 5 we were all on the stage with these cardboard clocks like, you know, two feet across, tied around us with string, like a sandwich board. We were all moving our arms back and forth, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock . I was wearing red buckle shoes, that I know. Well, my string broke and the clock fell off, night there on stage, I just stood there, frozen, and bawling. The teacher had to walk on to the stage and carry me off. You know, I reacted the same way when that stagedivin' crowd surfer kicked my microphone into my teeth. Hey, the more things change. I quit all of it eventually. Dance class cause I got lazy, soccer cause I grew boobs, and piano cause my teac
her, Mrs. Davies, got mad at me and called me a stupid girl and banged my hands on the keys. You know I was even a cheerleader. Hey, in grade 6 in Kentucky it was a cool thing. ‘S-U-C-C-E-S-S, that's the way we spell success!'. I can't believe it. (laughs) ‘V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, victory, victory is our cry gotta go'. That's how it went. I don't really remember the hand movements. But, uh, I was never one of the popular cheerleaders. I remember this girl April was very popular, and this other girl Jennifer was very popular. There were like, we were all in grade 6, but they had, like, bodies of 17year old people. And, and hey looked like Farrah Fawcett, you know all blond with feathered hair and endless teeth. I didn't look like that. I wonder if my dad wouldn't have moved us around so much, what if I woulda turn out different? You know, normal? Or am I? I, I'm obsessed with my childhood. Cause I dont' think I'm fully grown up. Are you? I mean really? I am my inner child. I
had to search for my inner adult. And I'm still lookin'. I still eat 6 hot dogs for lunch, they're just vegetarian now.

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