The Abyss

Everything I ever did I always gave it my best
I don’t know if anyone relates but the feeling that I get is like a truck sitting on my chest
Wondering how much do I got left
My last call
My last step
I'm not gonna wait just to see what’s next I go hard 'cause today could be my last breath
We do life and we can’t relive it
We only get one chance if you blink then you might just miss it
Many people come and go they all just visit
Don’t ever expect nothing different
Just listen as I paint this image that you’ll all revisit
Ya my glass half empty but I'm still might sip it
I was traumatized
What would you of said when you was looking in my mommas eyes?

Nothing
Ya I might of said I was ok but I probably lied
So this pain is how I harmonize
Making impact that’s what I personify and yes I'm making music that you cannot just defined by the numbers on my Spotify
All of this pain I just wanna be happy
Momma almost died the same day that she had me
Driving to hospital she swerved and crashed badly
Doctor said I miracle while looking at my daddy

I was zero when I first dodged death
I was 6 when the devil told me watch my Step
Couldn’t sleep I was scared to go inside my bed
Fighting demons I was hearing things my head
So back to doctor he didn’t have a diagnosis
So my whole damn life I felt lost while fighting psychosis
Talking to myself hoping nobody would notice
Mom said pray every time heard the voices
Life or death everyday I swear I made choices
Knife in my hand trying not to lose focus
Playing basketball religiously to drown out the noises man
Lemme Explain that Its like laying on train tracks
Grabbing Guns contemplating blowing ya brain back
Eyes Closed shut watching everything fade black
People stepping over you you feel like a place mat

And Let make it clear
God is the only one that I’ve ever feared
But you start to get paranoid and look over ya shoulder when these people have been hurting you for so many years
So I had to escape
If you listening I know that you relate
It’s that feeling that you get like your life and existence was all just one big mistake
I felt trapped and I couldn’t find space
I went and got lost in the things I’d create
Ever since I was a kid
People hated and they judged everything that I did
So I went into my mind and created the abyss
Man I swear I did
How the hell you think I make all hits

It’s cause I’ve been broken, beaten, Dragged, laughed at, scorned, burned and kicked
So I get reach in this endless pit
Of Hurt and pain from all that sh*t
And that’s the only reason that you people come here or for Gods sake even know that Dax exists
This is how it feels to drown
This is how it looks when your lost and you can’t be found
The abyss was a place I’d visit but I went so much that I'm gone and I'm stuck here now
This is not music
This is not doped
This is me begging y’all to throw me a rope

So I can try to climb out the place where I came in life when I spiraled and first lost hope
Let me explain
I’ve been dax so long I get ptsd when somebody says my real name
But I guess that’s the price you pay
I didn’t want to be like this
But I guess it is what it is
Inside the abyss