1. 1

    Monty Python - Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

  2. 2

    Monty Python - Olhe Sempre Pro Lado Bom da Vida

  3. 3

    Monty Python - The Galaxy Song

  4. 4

    Monty Python - Every Sperm Is Sacred

  5. 5

    Monty Python - Sit On My Face

  6. 6

    Monty Python - The Meaning Of Life

  7. 7

    Monty Python - The Lumberjack Song

  8. 8

    Monty Python - Brave Sir Robin

  9. 9

    Monty Python - Finland

  10. 10

    Monty Python - I'm All Alone

  11. 11

    Monty Python - Money Song

  12. 12

    Monty Python - Oliver Cromwell

  13. 13

    Monty Python - Penis Song

  14. 14

    Monty Python - Accountancy Shanty

  15. 15

    Monty Python - Act II Finale

  16. 16

    Monty Python - All For One

  17. 17

    Monty Python - All Things Dull And Ugly

  18. 18

    Monty Python - Answering Machine Song

  19. 19

    Monty Python - Bells

  20. 20

    Monty Python - Brian Song

  21. 21

    Monty Python - Bright Side Of Life

  22. 22

    Monty Python - Bruce's Philosophers Song

  23. 23

    Monty Python - Christmas In Heaven

  24. 24

    Monty Python - Come With Me

  25. 25

    Monty Python - Decomposing Composers

  26. 26

    Monty Python - Diva's Lament (Whatever Happened to My Part?)

  27. 27

    Monty Python - Eric The Half-A-Bee

  28. 28

    Monty Python - Find Your Grail

  29. 29

    Monty Python - Finland / Fisch Schlapping Dance

  30. 30

    Monty Python - He's Not Dead Yet

  31. 31

    Monty Python - Henry Kissinger

  32. 32

    Monty Python - His Name Is Lancelot

  33. 33

    Monty Python - Historian's Introduction to Act One

  34. 34

    Monty Python - Historian's Introduction to Act Two

  35. 35

    Monty Python - Ho Ho Fuking Ho

  36. 36

    Monty Python - I Bet You They Won't Play This Song on the Radio

  37. 37

    Monty Python - I Like Chinese

  38. 38

    Monty Python - I'm so worried

  39. 39

    Monty Python - I've Got a Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts

  40. 40

    Monty Python - I've Got Two Legs

  41. 41

    Monty Python - Knights Of The Round Table

  42. 42

    Monty Python - Laker Girls Cheer

  43. 43

    Monty Python - Life Of Brian Theme

  44. 44

    Monty Python - Medical Love Song

  45. 45

    Monty Python - Never be rude to an Arab

  46. 46

    Monty Python - Oh Lord Please Don't Burn Us

  47. 47

    Monty Python - Run Away

  48. 48

    Monty Python - Sir Robin's Song

  49. 49

    Monty Python - Spam Song

  50. 50

    Monty Python - Swamp Castle

  51. 51

    Monty Python - The Camelot Song

  52. 52

    Monty Python - The Penis Song

  53. 53

    Monty Python - The Silly Walks Song

  54. 54

    Monty Python - The Song That Goes Like This

  55. 55

    Monty Python - The Vagina Song

  56. 56

    Monty Python - Traffic Lights

  57. 57

    Monty Python - Twice In Every Show

  58. 58

    Monty Python - Where Are You

  59. 59

    Monty Python - You Won't Succeed On Broadway

Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop.
Wife: Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the church.
Man: What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?
Wife: You're a lapsed atheist, dear.
Man: The principle's the same. Bleeding C-of-E. The Mohmedans don't come 'round here wavin' bells at us! We don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom! Or Hindus harmonizing in the hall! The Shintuists don't come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse, shouting slogans...
Wife: All right, don't practice your alliteration on me.
Man: Anyway, when I get my membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket! Pass the butter knife!
Wife: WHAT??
Man: PASS THE BUTTER KNIFE!! THANK YOU! IF ONLY WE HAD SOME KIND OF MISSILE!
Wife: 'OLD ON, I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW.
(Sound: Window closing, bells get faint, but are still there)
Man: If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.
Wife: Well, you could always use the number 14-St. Joseph-the-somewhat- divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile. It's in the attic.
Man: What ballistic missile would this be, then?
(Sound: Bells begin to get increasingly louder)
Wife: I made it for you, it's your birthday present!
Man: Just what I wanted, 'ow nice of you to remember, my pet. 'EAR!
Wife: WHAT?
Man: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!
Wife: WHAT?
Man: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!!
Wife: THE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER! OOOH, LOOK!
Man: WHAT?
Wife: THE CHURCH, IT'S GETTING CLOSER! ITS COMING DOWN THE 'ILL!
Man: WHAT A LIBERTY!
Wife: IT'S TURNING INTO OUR LANE!
Man: STRAIGHT THROUGH THE LIGHTS, OF COURSE.
Wife: TYPICAL, YOU BETTER GO PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY.
Man: WHERE'S THIS MISSILE, THEN?
Wife: IT'S IN THE AIRING CUPBOARD. PRESS THE BUTTON MARKED CHURCH!
Man: 'OW DO I AIM IT?
Wife: IT AUTOMATICALLY HOMES IN ON THE NEAREST PLACE OF WORSHIP!
Man: THAT'S ST. MARKS!
Wife: IT ISN'T NOW, LOOK!! OH, ITS OP'NING THE GATE.
Man: WHAT? USE THE MEGAPHONE!
Wife: IT'S OP'NING THE GATE!!
Man: I'LL POP UP THE AIRING CUPBOARD.
Wife: 'HURRY UP, ITS TRAMPLING OVER THE AZALIAS!
(Sound: Missle launch, explosion, bells diminish)
Man: Did I 'it it?
Wife: Yes, right up the aisle.
Man: Well I've always said, There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not

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