1. 1

    Bob Rivers - What If God Smoked Cannabis

  2. 2

    Bob Rivers - 12 Days of Layoffs

  3. 3

    Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas

  4. 4

    Bob Rivers - 3 Inch Tool

  5. 5

    Bob Rivers - 401k

  6. 6

    Bob Rivers - 96 Beers

  7. 7

    Bob Rivers - Acid Rain

  8. 8

    Bob Rivers - ADD

  9. 9

    Bob Rivers - American Pie Eulogy

  10. 10

    Bob Rivers - Are They Gonna Fry OJ?

  11. 11

    Bob Rivers - Back In a Us Made Car

  12. 12

    Bob Rivers - Beat Up Old Jetliner

  13. 13

    Bob Rivers - Bowel Moves

  14. 14

    Bob Rivers - Californians Leavin

  15. 15

    Bob Rivers - Cat's in The Kettle

  16. 16

    Bob Rivers - Cheney's Got a Gun

  17. 17

    Bob Rivers - Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

  18. 18

    Bob Rivers - Clean The Cat Box

  19. 19

    Bob Rivers - Denny Way

  20. 20

    Bob Rivers - Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

  21. 21

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  22. 22

    Bob Rivers - Don't Vote For Nader

  23. 23

    Bob Rivers - Gates Is Such a Rich Man

  24. 24

    Bob Rivers - George Bush Told Lies

  25. 25

    Bob Rivers - Getting Fatter All The Time

  26. 26

    Bob Rivers - Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas

  27. 27

    Bob Rivers - Hey You! Get Off My House

  28. 28

    Bob Rivers - How It Feels (To Be Old)

  29. 29

    Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus (Black Sabbath Cover)

  30. 30

    Bob Rivers - I Used To Rock And Roll All Night

  31. 31

    Bob Rivers - I'm A Weight Watcher

  32. 32

    Bob Rivers - I'm Santa Claus

  33. 33

    Bob Rivers - Janet's Coconut

  34. 34

    Bob Rivers - Marv Bites

  35. 35

    Bob Rivers - Most Caffeine You've Ever Seen

  36. 36

    Bob Rivers - Mr. Magoo

  37. 37

    Bob Rivers - O.J.'s Trial Thing

  38. 38

    Bob Rivers - Officer Fuhrman

  39. 39

    Bob Rivers - Oxycontin Eater

  40. 40

    Bob Rivers - PMS

  41. 41

    Bob Rivers - Police Stop My Car

  42. 42

    Bob Rivers - Read It In The Tabloids

  43. 43

    Bob Rivers - The 12 Pains of Christmas

  44. 44

    Bob Rivers - The Ballad Of Gary Condit

  45. 45

    Bob Rivers - The Chimney Song

  46. 46

    Bob Rivers - The Handicap Can

  47. 47

    Bob Rivers - The No Smoking Song

  48. 48

    Bob Rivers - Vatican Man

  49. 49

    Bob Rivers - Walking Around In Womens Underwear

  50. 50

    Bob Rivers - When A Man Loves A Chicken

  51. 51

    Bob Rivers - Windows 95 Sucks (bought It Up)

  52. 52

    Bob Rivers - Wrong Foot Amputated

  53. 53

    Bob Rivers - Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!

What If God Smoked Cannabis

Bob Rivers

If God had long hair and a goatee
And if his eyes were pretty glazed
If he looked spaced out
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?

And, yeah, yeah, God looks baked
Yeah, yeah, God smells good
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah

What if God smoked Cannabis?
Hit the bong like some of us?
Drove a tie-dyed microbus
And he subscribes to Rolling Stone?

When God made this place in the beginning
Did he plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve
So they'd be hungry for the apple
That the snake was always offering?

And yeah, yeah, God rolls great
Yeah, yeah, God smells good
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah

What if God smoked Cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz
When he made the platypus?
When he created Earth our home?
Does he like Pearl Jam or The Stones?
And do you think he rolls his own
Up there in heaven on the throne?
And when the saints go marching home
Maybe he sits and smokes a bowl

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