1. 1

    Bob Rivers - 12 Days of Layoffs

  2. 2

    Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas

  3. 3

    Bob Rivers - 3 Inch Tool

  4. 4

    Bob Rivers - 401k

  5. 5

    Bob Rivers - 96 Beers

  6. 6

    Bob Rivers - Acid Rain

  7. 7

    Bob Rivers - ADD

  8. 8

    Bob Rivers - American Pie Eulogy

  9. 9

    Bob Rivers - Are They Gonna Fry OJ?

  10. 10

    Bob Rivers - Back In a Us Made Car

  11. 11

    Bob Rivers - Beat Up Old Jetliner

  12. 12

    Bob Rivers - Bowel Moves

  13. 13

    Bob Rivers - Californians Leavin

  14. 14

    Bob Rivers - Cat's in The Kettle

  15. 15

    Bob Rivers - Cheney's Got a Gun

  16. 16

    Bob Rivers - Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

  17. 17

    Bob Rivers - Clean The Cat Box

  18. 18

    Bob Rivers - Denny Way

  19. 19

    Bob Rivers - Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

  20. 20

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  21. 21

    Bob Rivers - Don't Vote For Nader

  22. 22

    Bob Rivers - Gates Is Such a Rich Man

  23. 23

    Bob Rivers - George Bush Told Lies

  24. 24

    Bob Rivers - Getting Fatter All The Time

  25. 25

    Bob Rivers - Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas

  26. 26

    Bob Rivers - Hey You! Get Off My House

  27. 27

    Bob Rivers - How It Feels (To Be Old)

  28. 28

    Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus (Black Sabbath Cover)

  29. 29

    Bob Rivers - I Used To Rock And Roll All Night

  30. 30

    Bob Rivers - I'm A Weight Watcher

  31. 31

    Bob Rivers - I'm Santa Claus

  32. 32

    Bob Rivers - Janet's Coconut

  33. 33

    Bob Rivers - Marv Bites

  34. 34

    Bob Rivers - Most Caffeine You've Ever Seen

  35. 35

    Bob Rivers - Mr. Magoo

  36. 36

    Bob Rivers - O.J.'s Trial Thing

  37. 37

    Bob Rivers - Officer Fuhrman

  38. 38

    Bob Rivers - Oxycontin Eater

  39. 39

    Bob Rivers - PMS

  40. 40

    Bob Rivers - Police Stop My Car

  41. 41

    Bob Rivers - Read It In The Tabloids

  42. 42

    Bob Rivers - The 12 Pains of Christmas

  43. 43

    Bob Rivers - The Ballad Of Gary Condit

  44. 44

    Bob Rivers - The Chimney Song

  45. 45

    Bob Rivers - The Handicap Can

  46. 46

    Bob Rivers - The No Smoking Song

  47. 47

    Bob Rivers - Vatican Man

  48. 48

    Bob Rivers - Walking Around In Womens Underwear

  49. 49

    Bob Rivers - What If God Smoked Cannabis

  50. 50

    Bob Rivers - When A Man Loves A Chicken

  51. 51

    Bob Rivers - Windows 95 Sucks (bought It Up)

  52. 52

    Bob Rivers - Wrong Foot Amputated

  53. 53

    Bob Rivers - Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!

3 Inch Tool

Bob Rivers

Little me, my nuts are as small as pearls,
You like to laugh at me because I'm hung just like a squirrel.
Sometimes it bugs me, I'm not a bigger guy,
When I was a baby it was exactly the same size.
But there's nothing I can do,
Cause I only got a 3 inch tool.

Come home with me, have a cocktail at my place,
I gotta tell you before we get past 2nd base.
In my pants, ain't no big schwing,
But if you can find him he's a friendly little thing.
But there's nothing I can do,
I only got a 3 inch tool.
When I'm comming outta the pool,
I only got a 1 inch tool.

Sometimes I wonder if It'll ever extend,
I get embarassed when I'm hanging with my friends.
They like to razz me, I don't know why.
They get me a Happy Meal and super-size my fry.
And there's nothing I can do,
I only got a 3 inch tool.
And when I'm comming outta the pool,
I only got a 1 inch tool.

Yea, it's small but it's real cool,
I'm happy with a 3 inch tool!
I only got a 3 inch tool

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