1. 1

    Bob Rivers - 12 Days of Layoffs

  2. 2

    Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas

  3. 3

    Bob Rivers - 3 Inch Tool

  4. 4

    Bob Rivers - 401k

  5. 5

    Bob Rivers - 96 Beers

  6. 6

    Bob Rivers - Acid Rain

  7. 7

    Bob Rivers - ADD

  8. 8

    Bob Rivers - American Pie Eulogy

  9. 9

    Bob Rivers - Are They Gonna Fry OJ?

  10. 10

    Bob Rivers - Back In a Us Made Car

  11. 11

    Bob Rivers - Beat Up Old Jetliner

  12. 12

    Bob Rivers - Bowel Moves

  13. 13

    Bob Rivers - Californians Leavin

  14. 14

    Bob Rivers - Cat's in The Kettle

  15. 15

    Bob Rivers - Cheney's Got a Gun

  16. 16

    Bob Rivers - Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

  17. 17

    Bob Rivers - Clean The Cat Box

  18. 18

    Bob Rivers - Denny Way

  19. 19

    Bob Rivers - Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

  20. 20

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  21. 21

    Bob Rivers - Don't Vote For Nader

  22. 22

    Bob Rivers - Gates Is Such a Rich Man

  23. 23

    Bob Rivers - George Bush Told Lies

  24. 24

    Bob Rivers - Getting Fatter All The Time

  25. 25

    Bob Rivers - Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas

  26. 26

    Bob Rivers - Hey You! Get Off My House

  27. 27

    Bob Rivers - How It Feels (To Be Old)

  28. 28

    Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus (Black Sabbath Cover)

  29. 29

    Bob Rivers - I Used To Rock And Roll All Night

  30. 30

    Bob Rivers - I'm A Weight Watcher

  31. 31

    Bob Rivers - I'm Santa Claus

  32. 32

    Bob Rivers - Janet's Coconut

  33. 33

    Bob Rivers - Marv Bites

  34. 34

    Bob Rivers - Most Caffeine You've Ever Seen

  35. 35

    Bob Rivers - Mr. Magoo

  36. 36

    Bob Rivers - O.J.'s Trial Thing

  37. 37

    Bob Rivers - Officer Fuhrman

  38. 38

    Bob Rivers - Oxycontin Eater

  39. 39

    Bob Rivers - PMS

  40. 40

    Bob Rivers - Police Stop My Car

  41. 41

    Bob Rivers - Read It In The Tabloids

  42. 42

    Bob Rivers - The 12 Pains of Christmas

  43. 43

    Bob Rivers - The Ballad Of Gary Condit

  44. 44

    Bob Rivers - The Chimney Song

  45. 45

    Bob Rivers - The Handicap Can

  46. 46

    Bob Rivers - The No Smoking Song

  47. 47

    Bob Rivers - Vatican Man

  48. 48

    Bob Rivers - Walking Around In Womens Underwear

  49. 49

    Bob Rivers - What If God Smoked Cannabis

  50. 50

    Bob Rivers - When A Man Loves A Chicken

  51. 51

    Bob Rivers - Windows 95 Sucks (bought It Up)

  52. 52

    Bob Rivers - Wrong Foot Amputated

  53. 53

    Bob Rivers - Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!

American Pie Eulogy

Bob Rivers

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
When I wrote this song and made a great big pile
And now some chick with leather pants
Who barely sings and cannot dance
Has made a crappy version disco style

Madonna�s cover makes me shiver
My stomach churns I can�t forgive her
I don�t know if it�s dance rap
I�m pretty sure it�s bull crap
I punched a door and ran outside
When I heard her sour notes collide
She should be charged with homicide
She made my music die

So why did Madonna kill American Pie?
Well, it�s tragic, but my classic has been hung out to dry
She might as well have poked a sharp stick in my eye
She�s making all the neighbor dogs cry
She�s making all the neighbor dogs cry

So why did Madonna kill American Pie?
Well, it�s tragic, but my classic has been hung out to dry
She might as well have poked a sharp stick in my eye
She�s making all the neighbor dogs cry
She�s making all the neighbor dogs cry

I thought this girl knew how to croon
But she sounds just like two donkeys screwin�
They�ll put out any crap these days
And the oldies I admire most
The hip hop stations turned to toast
They steal our songs and then they coast
They make the music die

So bye bye to American Pie
When Madonna killed my classic
I just wanted to hide
If Puffy ever takes a shot at Vincent, I�ll die
I�ll pop a cap in his ass and drive by
Pop a cap in his ass and drive by�

Why did Madonna kill American Pie?
Well, it�s tragic, but this classic has been hung out to dry
She might as well have poked a sharp stick in his eye
She�s making all the neighbor dogs cry

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