1. 1

    Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas

  2. 2

    Bob Rivers - Police Stop My Car

  3. 3

    Bob Rivers - Most Caffeine You've Ever Seen

  4. 4

    Bob Rivers - The 12 Pains of Christmas

  5. 5

    Bob Rivers - Walking Around In Womens Underwear

  6. 6

    Bob Rivers - What If God Smoked Cannabis

  7. 7

    Bob Rivers - 12 Days of Layoffs

  8. 8

    Bob Rivers - 3 Inch Tool

  9. 9

    Bob Rivers - 401k

  10. 10

    Bob Rivers - 96 Beers

  11. 11

    Bob Rivers - Acid Rain

  12. 12

    Bob Rivers - ADD

  13. 13

    Bob Rivers - American Pie Eulogy

  14. 14

    Bob Rivers - Are They Gonna Fry OJ?

  15. 15

    Bob Rivers - Back In a Us Made Car

  16. 16

    Bob Rivers - Beat Up Old Jetliner

  17. 17

    Bob Rivers - Bought It Up

  18. 18

    Bob Rivers - Bowel Moves

  19. 19

    Bob Rivers - Californians Leavin

  20. 20

    Bob Rivers - Cheney's Got a Gun

  21. 21

    Bob Rivers - Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

  22. 22

    Bob Rivers - Clean The Cat Box

  23. 23

    Bob Rivers - Denny Way

  24. 24

    Bob Rivers - Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

  25. 25

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  26. 26

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  27. 27

    Bob Rivers - Don't Vote For Nader

  28. 28

    Bob Rivers - Gates Is Such a Rich Man

  29. 29

    Bob Rivers - George Bush Told Lies

  30. 30

    Bob Rivers - Getting Fatter All The Time

  31. 31

    Bob Rivers - Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas

  32. 32

    Bob Rivers - Hello I Love You Let's Get Tested For AIDS

  33. 33

    Bob Rivers - Hey You! Get Off My House

  34. 34

    Bob Rivers - How It Feels (To Be Old)

  35. 35

    Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus (Black Sabbath Cover)

  36. 36

    Bob Rivers - I Used To Rock And Roll All Night

  37. 37

    Bob Rivers - I'm A Weight Watcher

  38. 38

    Bob Rivers - I'm Santa Claus

  39. 39

    Bob Rivers - Janet's Coconut

  40. 40

    Bob Rivers - Marv Bites

  41. 41

    Bob Rivers - Mr. Magoo

  42. 42

    Bob Rivers - O.J.'s Trial Thing

  43. 43

    Bob Rivers - Officer Fuhrman

  44. 44

    Bob Rivers - Oxycontin Eater

  45. 45

    Bob Rivers - PMS

  46. 46

    Bob Rivers - Read It In The Tabloids

  47. 47

    Bob Rivers - The Ballad Of Gary Condit

  48. 48

    Bob Rivers - The Chimney Song

  49. 49

    Bob Rivers - The Handicap Can

  50. 50

    Bob Rivers - The No Smoking Song

  51. 51

    Bob Rivers - Vatican Man

  52. 52

    Bob Rivers - When A Man Loves A Chicken

  53. 53

    Bob Rivers - White Trash Christmas

  54. 54

    Bob Rivers - Wrong Foot Amputated

  55. 55

    Bob Rivers - Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!

What If God Smoked Cannabis

Bob Rivers

If God had long hair and a goatee
And if his eyes were pretty glazed
If he looked spaced out
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?

And, yeah, yeah, God looks baked
Yeah, yeah, God smells good
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah

What if God smoked Cannabis?
Hit the bong like some of us?
Drove a tie-dyed microbus
And he subscribes to Rolling Stone?

When God made this place in the beginning
Did he plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve
So they'd be hungry for the apple
That the snake was always offering?

And yeah, yeah, God rolls great
Yeah, yeah, God smells good
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah

What if God smoked Cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz
When he made the platypus?
When he created Earth our home?
Does he like Pearl Jam or The Stones?
And do you think he rolls his own
Up there in heaven on the throne?
And when the saints go marching home
Maybe he sits and smokes a bowl

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