1. 1

    Bob Rivers - 401k

  2. 2

    Bob Rivers - Are They Gonna Fry OJ?

  3. 3

    Bob Rivers - Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

  4. 4

    Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas

  5. 5

    Bob Rivers - 96 Beers

  6. 6

    Bob Rivers - ADD

  7. 7

    Bob Rivers - Bowel Moves

  8. 8

    Bob Rivers - Californians Leavin

  9. 9

    Bob Rivers - Denny Way

  10. 10

    Bob Rivers - Hello I Love You Let's Get Tested For AIDS

  11. 11

    Bob Rivers - I Used To Rock And Roll All Night

  12. 12

    Bob Rivers - I'm Santa Claus

  13. 13

    Bob Rivers - The Ballad Of Gary Condit

  14. 14

    Bob Rivers - The Chimney Song

  15. 15

    Bob Rivers - Walking Around In Womens Underwear

  16. 16

    Bob Rivers - 3 Inch Tool

  17. 17

    Bob Rivers - American Pie Eulogy

  18. 18

    Bob Rivers - Back In a Us Made Car

  19. 19

    Bob Rivers - Beat Up Old Jetliner

  20. 20

    Bob Rivers - Cheney's Got a Gun

  21. 21

    Bob Rivers - Clean The Cat Box

  22. 22

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  23. 23

    Bob Rivers - George Bush Told Lies

  24. 24

    Bob Rivers - Getting Fatter All The Time

  25. 25

    Bob Rivers - Hey You! Get Off My House

  26. 26

    Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus (Black Sabbath Cover)

  27. 27

    Bob Rivers - Janet's Coconut

  28. 28

    Bob Rivers - Mr. Magoo

  29. 29

    Bob Rivers - O.J.'s Trial Thing

  30. 30

    Bob Rivers - PMS

  31. 31

    Bob Rivers - Vatican Man

  32. 32

    Bob Rivers - What If God Smoked Cannabis

  33. 33

    Bob Rivers - When A Man Loves A Chicken

  34. 34

    Bob Rivers - Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!

  35. 35

    Bob Rivers - 12 Days of Layoffs

  36. 36

    Bob Rivers - Acid Rain

  37. 37

    Bob Rivers - Bought It Up

  38. 38

    Bob Rivers - Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

  39. 39

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  40. 40

    Bob Rivers - Don't Vote For Nader

  41. 41

    Bob Rivers - Gates Is Such a Rich Man

  42. 42

    Bob Rivers - Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas

  43. 43

    Bob Rivers - How It Feels (To Be Old)

  44. 44

    Bob Rivers - I'm A Weight Watcher

  45. 45

    Bob Rivers - Marv Bites

  46. 46

    Bob Rivers - Most Caffeine You've Ever Seen

  47. 47

    Bob Rivers - Officer Fuhrman

  48. 48

    Bob Rivers - Oxycontin Eater

  49. 49

    Bob Rivers - Police Stop My Car

  50. 50

    Bob Rivers - Read It In The Tabloids

  51. 51

    Bob Rivers - The 12 Pains of Christmas

  52. 52

    Bob Rivers - The Handicap Can

  53. 53

    Bob Rivers - The No Smoking Song

  54. 54

    Bob Rivers - White Trash Christmas

  55. 55

    Bob Rivers - Wrong Foot Amputated

12 Pains Of Christmas

Bob Rivers

The first thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Hangovers, rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers, rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Five month of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers, rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
I hate those Christmas cards
Hangovers, rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing a Christmas
That's such a pain to me
The Salvation Army, facing my in-laws
Five months of bills, sending Christmas cards
Ohhh geeez, I'm tryin to rig up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
(Kids voice) I want a transformer for Christmas
Charities and what do you mean your in-laws?
Five months of bills, uh makin up these cards
Please get me a beer huh
What we have no extension cords?
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
(Kid) daddy I want some candy
Donations, facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers, now why the hell are they blinking?
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Batteries not included, no parking spaces
(Kid) by me something, get a job you bum
Facing my in-laws, five months of bills
Yo-ho sending Christmas cards
Oh-geez look at this
One light goes out they all go out
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Stale T.V. specials, batteries not included
No parking spaces
(Kid) mum I gotta go bathroom
Charites, she's a witch I hate her
Five months of bills
I dont even know half these people
Oh who has the toilet paper
Turn the flashlight on I blew a fuse
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas carols, stale T.V. specials
Batteries not included, no parking
(Kid crying), charities, gonna make em dinner
Five months of bills
I'm not sending em mister that's it
Shut up you, you're so smart you rig up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

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