- 1
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 2
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 3
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 4
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 5
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
- 6
Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- 7
Tism - Father And Son
- 8
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 9
Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 10
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 11
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 12
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 13
Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 14
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 15
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 16
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 17
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 18
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 19
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 20
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 21
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 22
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 23
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 24
Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 25
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 26
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 27
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 28
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- 29
Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 30
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 31
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 32
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 33
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
- 34
Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 35
Tism - Bfw
- 36
Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 37
Tism - Boot Party
- 38
Tism - Channel Turd
- 39
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 40
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 41
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 42
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
- 43
Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 44
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 45
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 46
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 47
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 48
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 49
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 50
Tism - Existentialtism
- 51
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 52
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 53
Tism - Five Yards
- 54
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 55
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 56
Tism - Garbage
- 57
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 58
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 59
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 60
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 61
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 62
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 63
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 64
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 65
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 66
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 67
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 68
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 69
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 70
Tism - I Go Off
- 71
Tism - I Shit Me
- 72
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
- 73
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 74
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 75
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 76
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 77
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 78
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 79
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 80
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 81
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 82
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- 83
Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 84
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 85
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 86
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 87
Tism - Kill Americans
- 88
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 89
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 90
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 91
Tism - Life Kills
- 92
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 93
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 94
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 95
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 96
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 97
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 98
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 99
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 100
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 101
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 102
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 103
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 104
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 105
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 106
Tism - My Generation
- 107
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 108
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 109
Tism - Opposite Day
- 110
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 111
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 112
Tism - Pus
- 113
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 114
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 115
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 116
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
- 117
Tism - Root
- 118
Tism - Russia
- 119
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 120
Tism - Sickie
- 121
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 122
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 123
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 124
Tism - Take Your Love
- 125
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 126
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 127
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 128
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 129
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 130
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 131
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 132
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 133
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 134
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 135
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 136
Tism - The Men's Room
- 137
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 138
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 139
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 140
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 141
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 142
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 143
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 144
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 145
Tism - Volare
- 146
Tism - Watering Systems
- 147
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 148
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 149
Tism - Whatareya
- 150
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 151
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 152
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
Tism
Anthony: You gentle Romans-
All: Peace, ho! Let us hear him.
Anthony: I come to praise, not to bury, the shoddy and the rooted -
To lament for the passing of those men, Safari suited,
Who'd flatten you with mindless glee when they got really newted.
Behind the bottleshop you'd see the roughest justice done:
Yeah, it was assault and battery - but with a sense of fun,
And a drink together after, when the ambulance had come.
Who would have thought you'd ever miss the barmaid's brutal snarl
And guys looking at you strange while she says, "What's yours, darl?"
"Wanna go?" is all you recall, before the blow and grand mal.
"You gotta fucking mouth on ya," those moustached yobs would say
Back when being literate was something to hide away
And being mediocre meant you played in the V.F.A.
But now everyone is talking, and it's oh so tres witty:
All those fucking D.J's and their flashy repartee -
It's always breakfast down in Hell, and radio compulsory.
From McGuiness to McGuire to Douglas fucking Aiton
There's a whole new type of person that's takin' over this damn nation:
And I'm not talkin' some racist crap about Asian immigration -
If you're a yobbo now, you're rooted; no one says, "I'll 'ave ya, pal" -
Listen to Adrian Martin, Jon Casimir, et al:
Excellence is demanded, or the critics give you hell.
Everyone's got a fucking voice - there's personae right and left:
They must learn this stuff in school: I mean, what fucking next?
Even the E.G cadets crap on, then move to the London desk.
Who needs another columnist to point out that the thing
'Bout living in the suburbs is that it ain't like Berlin? -
Just in case all of you in Melton were ever wondering.
I tell you what can get fucked, and that's fucking them for starters:
If there's one thing we just don't need, it's another mouthy smartarse
Slagging off the guys who wear footy shorts and zappatas.
You know who we've swapped them for? People who say "rad"
And blokes who go round reading books on being a modern dad -
Why, everything's so cool these days, I can't even understand Telstra ads.
Excellence surrounds us like a fucking voodoo curse:
There's Helen Garner's sister's book; there's all of modern verse;
There's world's best practice, and business men talking terse
On mobile phones on a mobile net that reaches round the earth;
Everything is excellent: nowadays, there's nothing worse
Than saying "I don't give a shit": you'd be in a fucking hearse
Driven by some consultant git who's analyzed your system
And wants to fully integrate you into modern wisdom:
He's gonna take you by the balls and flush you down the cistern.
You know what killed the Anzacs? It weren't the fucking Turks,
It was the Australians coming after them talking up the perks
Of fucking multi-skilling and how the Internet fucking works.
So give me back the good old days, though I know they really stank,
When everyone could seem to tell when you were talking wank,
And we didn't all have to go around pretending to be Yanks.
Give us back those great ideas that made this nation free,
Like the end of season footy trip, and inefficiency,
And if they aren't part of freedom - well, who gives a fuck? Not me.
Why find voice now at this stage, when silence was just fine?
Why learn to talk in coffee shops? It's a fucking wank, for mine.
Coathanger one of these effete guys, next thing you know he's cryin'.
The one thing good 'bout dumbing down is you're not so fucking smart;
I thought Australia was the country that had a silent heart -
It's time we just shutfuckingup. I know what. I'll start.
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