- 1
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 2
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 3
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 4
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 5
Tism - Channel Turd
- 6
Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 7
Tism - Kill Americans
- 8
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 9
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 10
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 11
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 12
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 13
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 14
Tism - The Men's Room
- 15
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 16
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 17
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 18
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 19
Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 20
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 21
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 22
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 23
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 24
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 25
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- 26
Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 27
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 28
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 29
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 30
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
- 31
Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 32
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
- 33
Tism - Bfw
- 34
Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 35
Tism - Boot Party
- 36
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 37
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 38
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 39
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
- 40
Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- 41
Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 42
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 43
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 44
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 45
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 46
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 47
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 48
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 49
Tism - Existentialtism
- 50
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 51
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 52
Tism - Father And Son
- 53
Tism - Five Yards
- 54
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 55
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 56
Tism - Garbage
- 57
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 58
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 59
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 60
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 61
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 62
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 63
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 64
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 65
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 66
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 67
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 68
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 69
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 70
Tism - I Go Off
- 71
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 72
Tism - I Shit Me
- 73
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
- 74
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 75
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 76
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 77
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 78
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 79
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 80
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 81
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 82
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 83
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- 84
Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 85
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 86
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 87
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 88
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 89
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 90
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 91
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 92
Tism - Life Kills
- 93
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 94
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 95
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 96
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 97
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 98
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 99
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 100
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 101
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 102
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 103
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 104
Tism - My Generation
- 105
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 106
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 107
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 108
Tism - Opposite Day
- 109
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 110
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 111
Tism - Pus
- 112
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 113
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 114
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 115
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
- 116
Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 117
Tism - Root
- 118
Tism - Russia
- 119
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 120
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 121
Tism - Sickie
- 122
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 123
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 124
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 125
Tism - Take Your Love
- 126
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 127
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 128
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 129
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 130
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 131
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 132
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 133
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 134
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 135
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 136
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 137
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 138
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 139
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 140
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 141
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 142
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 143
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 144
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 145
Tism - Volare
- 146
Tism - Watering Systems
- 147
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 148
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 149
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 150
Tism - Whatareya
- 151
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 152
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
Tism
Anthony: You gentle Romans-
All: Peace, ho! Let us hear him.
Anthony: I come to praise, not to bury, the shoddy and the rooted -
To lament for the passing of those men, Safari suited,
Who'd flatten you with mindless glee when they got really newted.
Behind the bottleshop you'd see the roughest justice done:
Yeah, it was assault and battery - but with a sense of fun,
And a drink together after, when the ambulance had come.
Who would have thought you'd ever miss the barmaid's brutal snarl
And guys looking at you strange while she says, "What's yours, darl?"
"Wanna go?" is all you recall, before the blow and grand mal.
"You gotta fucking mouth on ya," those moustached yobs would say
Back when being literate was something to hide away
And being mediocre meant you played in the V.F.A.
But now everyone is talking, and it's oh so tres witty:
All those fucking D.J's and their flashy repartee -
It's always breakfast down in Hell, and radio compulsory.
From McGuiness to McGuire to Douglas fucking Aiton
There's a whole new type of person that's takin' over this damn nation:
And I'm not talkin' some racist crap about Asian immigration -
If you're a yobbo now, you're rooted; no one says, "I'll 'ave ya, pal" -
Listen to Adrian Martin, Jon Casimir, et al:
Excellence is demanded, or the critics give you hell.
Everyone's got a fucking voice - there's personae right and left:
They must learn this stuff in school: I mean, what fucking next?
Even the E.G cadets crap on, then move to the London desk.
Who needs another columnist to point out that the thing
'Bout living in the suburbs is that it ain't like Berlin? -
Just in case all of you in Melton were ever wondering.
I tell you what can get fucked, and that's fucking them for starters:
If there's one thing we just don't need, it's another mouthy smartarse
Slagging off the guys who wear footy shorts and zappatas.
You know who we've swapped them for? People who say "rad"
And blokes who go round reading books on being a modern dad -
Why, everything's so cool these days, I can't even understand Telstra ads.
Excellence surrounds us like a fucking voodoo curse:
There's Helen Garner's sister's book; there's all of modern verse;
There's world's best practice, and business men talking terse
On mobile phones on a mobile net that reaches round the earth;
Everything is excellent: nowadays, there's nothing worse
Than saying "I don't give a shit": you'd be in a fucking hearse
Driven by some consultant git who's analyzed your system
And wants to fully integrate you into modern wisdom:
He's gonna take you by the balls and flush you down the cistern.
You know what killed the Anzacs? It weren't the fucking Turks,
It was the Australians coming after them talking up the perks
Of fucking multi-skilling and how the Internet fucking works.
So give me back the good old days, though I know they really stank,
When everyone could seem to tell when you were talking wank,
And we didn't all have to go around pretending to be Yanks.
Give us back those great ideas that made this nation free,
Like the end of season footy trip, and inefficiency,
And if they aren't part of freedom - well, who gives a fuck? Not me.
Why find voice now at this stage, when silence was just fine?
Why learn to talk in coffee shops? It's a fucking wank, for mine.
Coathanger one of these effete guys, next thing you know he's cryin'.
The one thing good 'bout dumbing down is you're not so fucking smart;
I thought Australia was the country that had a silent heart -
It's time we just shutfuckingup. I know what. I'll start.
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