- 1
Tism - Existentialtism
- 2
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 3
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 4
Tism - Whatareya
- 5
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 6
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 7
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 8
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 9
Tism - Channel Turd
- 10
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 11
Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 12
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 13
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 14
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 15
Tism - Father And Son
- 16
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 17
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 18
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 19
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 20
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 21
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 22
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 23
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 24
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- 25
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 26
Tism - Kill Americans
- 27
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 28
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 29
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 30
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 31
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 32
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 33
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 34
Tism - My Generation
- 35
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 36
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 37
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 38
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 39
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
- 40
Tism - Russia
- 41
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 42
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 43
Tism - Take Your Love
- 44
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 45
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 46
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 47
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 48
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 49
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 50
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 51
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 52
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 53
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 54
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 55
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 56
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 57
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 58
Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 59
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 60
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 61
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 62
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 63
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- 64
Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 65
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 66
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 67
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
- 68
Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 69
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
- 70
Tism - Bfw
- 71
Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 72
Tism - Boot Party
- 73
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 74
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 75
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
- 76
Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- 77
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 78
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 79
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 80
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 81
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 82
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 83
Tism - Five Yards
- 84
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 85
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 86
Tism - Garbage
- 87
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 88
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 89
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 90
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 91
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 92
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 93
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 94
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 95
Tism - I Go Off
- 96
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 97
Tism - I Shit Me
- 98
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
- 99
Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 100
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 101
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 102
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 103
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 104
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 105
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 106
Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 107
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 108
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 109
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 110
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 111
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 112
Tism - Life Kills
- 113
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 114
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 115
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 116
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 117
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 118
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 119
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 120
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 121
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 122
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 123
Tism - Opposite Day
- 124
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 125
Tism - Pus
- 126
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 127
Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 128
Tism - Root
- 129
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 130
Tism - Sickie
- 131
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 132
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 133
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 134
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 135
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 136
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 137
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 138
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 139
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 140
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 141
Tism - The Men's Room
- 142
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 143
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 144
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 145
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 146
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 147
Tism - Volare
- 148
Tism - Watering Systems
- 149
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 150
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 151
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 152
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
Tism
Anthony: You gentle Romans-
All: Peace, ho! Let us hear him.
Anthony: I come to praise, not to bury, the shoddy and the rooted -
To lament for the passing of those men, Safari suited,
Who'd flatten you with mindless glee when they got really newted.
Behind the bottleshop you'd see the roughest justice done:
Yeah, it was assault and battery - but with a sense of fun,
And a drink together after, when the ambulance had come.
Who would have thought you'd ever miss the barmaid's brutal snarl
And guys looking at you strange while she says, "What's yours, darl?"
"Wanna go?" is all you recall, before the blow and grand mal.
"You gotta fucking mouth on ya," those moustached yobs would say
Back when being literate was something to hide away
And being mediocre meant you played in the V.F.A.
But now everyone is talking, and it's oh so tres witty:
All those fucking D.J's and their flashy repartee -
It's always breakfast down in Hell, and radio compulsory.
From McGuiness to McGuire to Douglas fucking Aiton
There's a whole new type of person that's takin' over this damn nation:
And I'm not talkin' some racist crap about Asian immigration -
If you're a yobbo now, you're rooted; no one says, "I'll 'ave ya, pal" -
Listen to Adrian Martin, Jon Casimir, et al:
Excellence is demanded, or the critics give you hell.
Everyone's got a fucking voice - there's personae right and left:
They must learn this stuff in school: I mean, what fucking next?
Even the E.G cadets crap on, then move to the London desk.
Who needs another columnist to point out that the thing
'Bout living in the suburbs is that it ain't like Berlin? -
Just in case all of you in Melton were ever wondering.
I tell you what can get fucked, and that's fucking them for starters:
If there's one thing we just don't need, it's another mouthy smartarse
Slagging off the guys who wear footy shorts and zappatas.
You know who we've swapped them for? People who say "rad"
And blokes who go round reading books on being a modern dad -
Why, everything's so cool these days, I can't even understand Telstra ads.
Excellence surrounds us like a fucking voodoo curse:
There's Helen Garner's sister's book; there's all of modern verse;
There's world's best practice, and business men talking terse
On mobile phones on a mobile net that reaches round the earth;
Everything is excellent: nowadays, there's nothing worse
Than saying "I don't give a shit": you'd be in a fucking hearse
Driven by some consultant git who's analyzed your system
And wants to fully integrate you into modern wisdom:
He's gonna take you by the balls and flush you down the cistern.
You know what killed the Anzacs? It weren't the fucking Turks,
It was the Australians coming after them talking up the perks
Of fucking multi-skilling and how the Internet fucking works.
So give me back the good old days, though I know they really stank,
When everyone could seem to tell when you were talking wank,
And we didn't all have to go around pretending to be Yanks.
Give us back those great ideas that made this nation free,
Like the end of season footy trip, and inefficiency,
And if they aren't part of freedom - well, who gives a fuck? Not me.
Why find voice now at this stage, when silence was just fine?
Why learn to talk in coffee shops? It's a fucking wank, for mine.
Coathanger one of these effete guys, next thing you know he's cryin'.
The one thing good 'bout dumbing down is you're not so fucking smart;
I thought Australia was the country that had a silent heart -
It's time we just shutfuckingup. I know what. I'll start.
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