1. 1

    Tism - Give Up For Australia

  2. 2

    Tism - Take Your Love

  3. 3

    Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River

  4. 4

    Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite

  5. 5

    Tism - 40 Years - Then Death

  6. 6

    Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'

  7. 7

    Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler

  8. 8

    Tism - Boot Party

  9. 9

    Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched

  10. 10

    Tism - Dicktatorship

  11. 11

    Tism - Drop The 'tude

  12. 12

    Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville

  13. 13

    Tism - Garbage

  14. 14

    Tism - Go The Knuckle

  15. 15

    Tism - I Drive A Truck

  16. 16

    Tism - I Go Off

  17. 17

    Tism - I Shit Me

  18. 18

    Tism - In Defense Of Poetry

  19. 19

    Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode

  20. 20

    Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism

  21. 21

    Tism - Life Kills

  22. 22

    Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii

  23. 23

    Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost

  24. 24

    Tism - Lyric For Jack

  25. 25

    Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow

  26. 26

    Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General

  27. 27

    Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre

  28. 28

    Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs

  29. 29

    Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep

  30. 30

    Tism - Russia

  31. 31

    Tism - Sickie

  32. 32

    Tism - Strictly Loungeroom

  33. 33

    Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message

  34. 34

    Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter

  35. 35

    Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped

  36. 36

    Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie

  37. 37

    Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie

  38. 38

    Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic

  39. 39

    Tism - The Men's Room

  40. 40

    Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator

  41. 41

    Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T

  42. 42

    Tism - We Are The Champignons

  43. 43

    Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse

  44. 44

    Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out

  45. 45

    Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur

  46. 46

    Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti

  47. 47

    Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

  48. 48

    Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads

  49. 49

    Tism - All Ordinaries Index

  50. 50

    Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To

  51. 51

    Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner

  52. 52

    Tism - Aussiemandias

  53. 53

    Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb

  54. 54

    Tism - Babies Bite Back

  55. 55

    Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger

  56. 56

    Tism - Been Caught Wankin'

  57. 57

    Tism - Bfw

  58. 58

    Tism - Bishop = Handjob

  59. 59

    Tism - Channel Turd

  60. 60

    Tism - Choose Bad Smack

  61. 61

    Tism - Consumption Tax

  62. 62

    Tism - Dazed And Confucious

  63. 63

    Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway

  64. 64

    Tism - Defecate On My Face

  65. 65

    Tism - Denial Works For Me

  66. 66

    Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen

  67. 67

    Tism - Dumb 'n' Base

  68. 68

    Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly

  69. 69

    Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

  70. 70

    Tism - Existentialtism

  71. 71

    Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King

  72. 72

    Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2

  73. 73

    Tism - Father And Son

  74. 74

    Tism - Five Yards

  75. 75

    Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em

  76. 76

    Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling

  77. 77

    Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan

  78. 78

    Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery

  79. 79

    Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown

  80. 80

    Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It

  81. 81

    Tism - Great Expectorations

  82. 82

    Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!

  83. 83

    Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans

  84. 84

    Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst

  85. 85

    Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend

  86. 86

    Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt

  87. 87

    Tism - I'll 'ave Ya

  88. 88

    Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy

  89. 89

    Tism - I'm Into Led Zep

  90. 90

    Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie

  91. 91

    Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It

  92. 92

    Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed

  93. 93

    Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished

  94. 94

    Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It

  95. 95

    Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge

  96. 96

    Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball

  97. 97

    Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)

  98. 98

    Tism - Jung Talent Time

  99. 99

    Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men

  100. 100

    Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4

  101. 101

    Tism - Kill Americans

  102. 102

    Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush

  103. 103

    Tism - Leo's Toltoy

  104. 104

    Tism - Let's Club It To Death

  105. 105

    Tism - Let's Form A Company

  106. 106

    Tism - Life Kills 2

  107. 107

    Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli

  108. 108

    Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr

  109. 109

    Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell

  110. 110

    Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt

  111. 111

    Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker

  112. 112

    Tism - Morrison Hostel

  113. 113

    Tism - Mourningtown Ride

  114. 114

    Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea

  115. 115

    Tism - My Generation

  116. 116

    Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours

  117. 117

    Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick

  118. 118

    Tism - Opposite Day

  119. 119

    Tism - Play Mistral For Me

  120. 120

    Tism - Pus

  121. 121

    Tism - Pus Of The Dead

  122. 122

    Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch

  123. 123

    Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg

  124. 124

    Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It

  125. 125

    Tism - Root

  126. 126

    Tism - Saturday Night Palsy

  127. 127

    Tism - Schoolies Week

  128. 128

    Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools

  129. 129

    Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces

  130. 130

    Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus

  131. 131

    Tism - The Art-income Dialectic

  132. 132

    Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand

  133. 133

    Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating

  134. 134

    Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi

  135. 135

    Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm

  136. 136

    Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby

  137. 137

    Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained

  138. 138

    Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut

  139. 139

    Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer

  140. 140

    Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues

  141. 141

    Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows

  142. 142

    Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear

  143. 143

    Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out

  144. 144

    Tism - Tism Club Song

  145. 145

    Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz

  146. 146

    Tism - Volare

  147. 147

    Tism - Watering Systems

  148. 148

    Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything

  149. 149

    Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam

  150. 150

    Tism - Whatareya

  151. 151

    Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps

  152. 152

    Tism - Whinge Rock

  153. 153

    Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The

  154. 154

    Tism - Yob

The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand

Tism

In a tiny inner city pub the amps were being stacked;
Leads were getting wound up; it was full of pissed ANZACS;
"Got no more gigs for Tuesday nights," said the barman to the Star,
"We're putting pockies in the lounge, and strippers in the bar."

The Star, he raised his finger and said, "Fuck this fucking hole!"
But to his faithful roadie he said, "It's the death of rock and roll.
There ain't a single place that's left to play amplified guitar -
Every place is serving long blacks or has become a Tapas bar."

His dirty denim jacket was gaffered and turning black;
Hair was missing on his forehead, but it reached right down his back.
"I don't blame that barman bastard," he told his roadie - "Hey, fuck no:
I blame all those faggot wankers who are playing this techno.

`Brothers can work it out' - get fucked. That can kiss my rotting arse.
Work out what happened to real music is what I'd like to ask.
Everything is all machine, run with MIDI and A- DAT;
But all they do is go ping ping ping, like a truck that's backing back.

Who the fuck are the Chemical Brothers, that they now call the shots?
Goldie is the name of a light beer, Elastica holds up socks."
The roadie sat there silent next to the ejaculating Star.
"What the fucking point of drum 'n' bass if no one can play guitar?"

"And have you seen those fucking clubbers with their peroxided dreads,
Dressed up in fucking Addidas like fucking fucked fuck heads?
I wouldn't drop a tab of E if you fucking paid me man -
I've got the guts for L.S.D; and the only jungle I know was 'Nam."

His roadie sat, still silent, but then he finally began to speak:
"Actually, Star, I maybe should have told you this last week,
But I've scored a job as D.J. at the latest techno club.
I'm sick of working with a loser. See ya later, bub."

Well, the roadie owned the p.a. and the roadie owned the ute
And the roadie told Star to get right out or he'd bash one up his chute.
And there on that cold freeway Star walked along alone -
Of course, he been kicked out half way between emergency telephones.

"Fuck youse all," said Star aloud in the emergency stopping lane,
"To quote from the chick Juliet, Hey, what's in a name?
A good song's just a good song, just the same as long ago;
But dress it up in something new, and suddenly you're Picasso,

Every white balled Pommy cunt thinks that you are so hip -
Read N.M.E. from ten years ago, and there's all the same dickslip;
Prodigy are just the band who are getting it this year -
Rolling Stone's got no more cred than fucking New Idea."

Star's anguished voice rose in grief as he cried unto the moon:
"In the end, when all is said, a tune's just a fucking tune."
Star played his amp far too loud - his hearing was sort of gone,
So he never heard the grinding squeal as the truckie put the brakes on.

Twenty six of that road train's wheels played a tune upon his head.
"He just wandered into the traffic," the distraught diver said.
The cops had seen it all before; the ambo's washed the freeway clean -
There's no contest when you put a man up against a machine.

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