- 1
Tism - Existentialtism
- 2
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 3
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 4
Tism - Whatareya
- 5
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 6
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 7
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 8
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 9
Tism - Channel Turd
- 10
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 11
Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 12
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 13
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 14
Tism - Father And Son
- 15
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 16
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 17
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 18
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 19
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 20
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 21
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 22
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 23
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- 24
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 25
Tism - Kill Americans
- 26
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 27
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 28
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 29
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 30
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 31
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 32
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 33
Tism - My Generation
- 34
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 35
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 36
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 37
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
- 38
Tism - Russia
- 39
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 40
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 41
Tism - Take Your Love
- 42
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 43
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 44
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 45
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 46
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 47
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 48
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 49
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 50
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 51
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 52
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 53
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 54
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 55
Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 56
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 57
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 58
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 59
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 60
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- 61
Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 62
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 63
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 64
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
- 65
Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 66
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
- 67
Tism - Bfw
- 68
Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 69
Tism - Boot Party
- 70
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 71
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 72
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
- 73
Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- 74
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 75
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 76
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 77
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 78
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 79
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 80
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 81
Tism - Five Yards
- 82
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 83
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 84
Tism - Garbage
- 85
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 86
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 87
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 88
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 89
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 90
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 91
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 92
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 93
Tism - I Go Off
- 94
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 95
Tism - I Shit Me
- 96
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
- 97
Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 98
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 99
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 100
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 101
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 102
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 103
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 104
Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 105
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 106
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 107
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 108
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 109
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 110
Tism - Life Kills
- 111
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 112
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 113
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 114
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 115
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 116
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 117
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 118
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 119
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 120
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 121
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 122
Tism - Opposite Day
- 123
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 124
Tism - Pus
- 125
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 126
Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 127
Tism - Root
- 128
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 129
Tism - Sickie
- 130
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 131
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 132
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 133
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 134
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 135
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 136
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 137
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 138
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 139
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 140
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 141
Tism - The Men's Room
- 142
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 143
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 144
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 145
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 146
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 147
Tism - Volare
- 148
Tism - Watering Systems
- 149
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 150
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 151
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 152
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
If You're Ugly, Forget It
Tism
Immaculate shoulder?
Do you want to get
Your name on her folder?
Hope may spring eternal
But you should not let it:
Hear the unspoken words -
"If you're ugly, forget it".
Oh, can you see that guy?
No wonder you hate him:
He's captain of the footy -
You, of the debating.
You have the rest of your life
With which to regret it -
Obey the unstated rule:
"If you're ugly, forget it".
There's still one place left
For the desperate try hard -
Become an artist;
Join the avaunt garde.
But even in the ghettos
You're likely to get it -
That unbroken rule:
"If you're ugly, forget it".
And so to suicide
You are finally driven.
You'll ask old St. Peter,
"Can I get into heaven?"
He'll point to your tombstone -
The sentence? You've read it:
The unwritten law -
"If you're ugly, forget it".
The worst bands are the most popular.
Arseholes make the most money.
Insecure twats become famous.
Lunatics embrace religion.
Incompetent people are the loudest.
Stands of principle are the least genuine.
Government funding means people don't like it.
Well read people don't know anything.
The avant garde are deeply conservative.
Saving the world is a waste of resources.
Throw out what's useful and re-cycle your garbage.
Nothing happens to ambulance subscribers.
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