- 1
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 2
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 3
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 4
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 5
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
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Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 7
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 8
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 9
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 10
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 11
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 12
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
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Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 14
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 15
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 16
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 17
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
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Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 19
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
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Tism - Bfw
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Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 22
Tism - Boot Party
- 23
Tism - Channel Turd
- 24
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 25
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 26
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 27
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
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Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
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Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 30
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 31
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 32
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 33
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 34
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 35
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 36
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 37
Tism - Existentialtism
- 38
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 39
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 40
Tism - Father And Son
- 41
Tism - Five Yards
- 42
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 43
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 44
Tism - Garbage
- 45
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 46
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 47
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 48
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 49
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 50
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 51
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 52
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 53
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 54
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 55
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 56
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 57
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 58
Tism - I Go Off
- 59
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 60
Tism - I Shit Me
- 61
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
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Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 63
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 64
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 65
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 66
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 67
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 68
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 69
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 70
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 71
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 72
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
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Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 74
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 75
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 76
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 77
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 78
Tism - Kill Americans
- 79
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 80
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 81
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 82
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 83
Tism - Life Kills
- 84
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 85
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 86
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 87
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 88
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 89
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 90
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 91
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 92
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 93
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 94
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 95
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 96
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 97
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 98
Tism - My Generation
- 99
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 100
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 101
Tism - Opposite Day
- 102
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 103
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 104
Tism - Pus
- 105
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 106
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 107
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 108
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
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Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 110
Tism - Root
- 111
Tism - Russia
- 112
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 113
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 114
Tism - Sickie
- 115
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 116
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 117
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 118
Tism - Take Your Love
- 119
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 120
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 121
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 122
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 123
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 124
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 125
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 126
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 127
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 128
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 129
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 130
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 131
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 132
Tism - The Men's Room
- 133
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 134
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 135
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 136
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 137
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 138
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 139
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 140
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 141
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 142
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 143
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 144
Tism - Volare
- 145
Tism - Watering Systems
- 146
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 147
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 148
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 149
Tism - Whatareya
- 150
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 151
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 152
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
If You're Ugly, Forget It
Tism
Immaculate shoulder?
Do you want to get
Your name on her folder?
Hope may spring eternal
But you should not let it:
Hear the unspoken words -
"If you're ugly, forget it".
Oh, can you see that guy?
No wonder you hate him:
He's captain of the footy -
You, of the debating.
You have the rest of your life
With which to regret it -
Obey the unstated rule:
"If you're ugly, forget it".
There's still one place left
For the desperate try hard -
Become an artist;
Join the avaunt garde.
But even in the ghettos
You're likely to get it -
That unbroken rule:
"If you're ugly, forget it".
And so to suicide
You are finally driven.
You'll ask old St. Peter,
"Can I get into heaven?"
He'll point to your tombstone -
The sentence? You've read it:
The unwritten law -
"If you're ugly, forget it".
The worst bands are the most popular.
Arseholes make the most money.
Insecure twats become famous.
Lunatics embrace religion.
Incompetent people are the loudest.
Stands of principle are the least genuine.
Government funding means people don't like it.
Well read people don't know anything.
The avant garde are deeply conservative.
Saving the world is a waste of resources.
Throw out what's useful and re-cycle your garbage.
Nothing happens to ambulance subscribers.
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