- 1
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 2
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 3
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 4
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 5
Tism - Opposite Day
- 6
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 7
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 8
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 9
Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 10
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 11
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 12
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 13
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 14
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 15
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- 16
Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 17
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 18
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 19
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 20
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
- 21
Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 22
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
- 23
Tism - Bfw
- 24
Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 25
Tism - Boot Party
- 26
Tism - Channel Turd
- 27
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 28
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 29
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 30
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
- 31
Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- 32
Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 33
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 34
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 35
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 36
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 37
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 38
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 39
Tism - Existentialtism
- 40
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 41
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 42
Tism - Father And Son
- 43
Tism - Five Yards
- 44
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 45
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 46
Tism - Garbage
- 47
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 48
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 49
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 50
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 51
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 52
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 53
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 54
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 55
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 56
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 57
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 58
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 59
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 60
Tism - I Go Off
- 61
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 62
Tism - I Shit Me
- 63
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
- 64
Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 65
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 66
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 67
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 68
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 69
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 70
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 71
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 72
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 73
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- 74
Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 75
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 76
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 77
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 78
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 79
Tism - Kill Americans
- 80
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 81
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 82
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 83
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 84
Tism - Life Kills
- 85
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 86
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 87
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 88
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 89
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 90
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 91
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 92
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 93
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 94
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 95
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 96
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 97
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 98
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 99
Tism - My Generation
- 100
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 101
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 102
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 103
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 104
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 105
Tism - Pus
- 106
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 107
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 108
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 109
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
- 110
Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 111
Tism - Root
- 112
Tism - Russia
- 113
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 114
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 115
Tism - Sickie
- 116
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 117
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 118
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 119
Tism - Take Your Love
- 120
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 121
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 122
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 123
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 124
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 125
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 126
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 127
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 128
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 129
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 130
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 131
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 132
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 133
Tism - The Men's Room
- 134
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 135
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 136
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 137
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 138
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 139
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 140
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 141
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 142
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 143
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 144
Tism - Volare
- 145
Tism - Watering Systems
- 146
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 147
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 148
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 149
Tism - Whatareya
- 150
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 151
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 152
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
Tism
Leads were getting wound up; it was full of pissed ANZACS;
"Got no more gigs for Tuesday nights," said the barman to the Star,
"We're putting pockies in the lounge, and strippers in the bar."
The Star, he raised his finger and said, "Fuck this fucking hole!"
But to his faithful roadie he said, "It's the death of rock and roll.
There ain't a single place that's left to play amplified guitar -
Every place is serving long blacks or has become a Tapas bar."
His dirty denim jacket was gaffered and turning black;
Hair was missing on his forehead, but it reached right down his back.
"I don't blame that barman bastard," he told his roadie - "Hey, fuck no:
I blame all those faggot wankers who are playing this techno.
`Brothers can work it out' - get fucked. That can kiss my rotting arse.
Work out what happened to real music is what I'd like to ask.
Everything is all machine, run with MIDI and A- DAT;
But all they do is go ping ping ping, like a truck that's backing back.
Who the fuck are the Chemical Brothers, that they now call the shots?
Goldie is the name of a light beer, Elastica holds up socks."
The roadie sat there silent next to the ejaculating Star.
"What the fucking point of drum 'n' bass if no one can play guitar?"
"And have you seen those fucking clubbers with their peroxided dreads,
Dressed up in fucking Addidas like fucking fucked fuck heads?
I wouldn't drop a tab of E if you fucking paid me man -
I've got the guts for L.S.D; and the only jungle I know was 'Nam."
His roadie sat, still silent, but then he finally began to speak:
"Actually, Star, I maybe should have told you this last week,
But I've scored a job as D.J. at the latest techno club.
I'm sick of working with a loser. See ya later, bub."
Well, the roadie owned the p.a. and the roadie owned the ute
And the roadie told Star to get right out or he'd bash one up his chute.
And there on that cold freeway Star walked along alone -
Of course, he been kicked out half way between emergency telephones.
"Fuck youse all," said Star aloud in the emergency stopping lane,
"To quote from the chick Juliet, Hey, what's in a name?
A good song's just a good song, just the same as long ago;
But dress it up in something new, and suddenly you're Picasso,
Every white balled Pommy cunt thinks that you are so hip -
Read N.M.E. from ten years ago, and there's all the same dickslip;
Prodigy are just the band who are getting it this year -
Rolling Stone's got no more cred than fucking New Idea."
Star's anguished voice rose in grief as he cried unto the moon:
"In the end, when all is said, a tune's just a fucking tune."
Star played his amp far too loud - his hearing was sort of gone,
So he never heard the grinding squeal as the truckie put the brakes on.
Twenty six of that road train's wheels played a tune upon his head.
"He just wandered into the traffic," the distraught diver said.
The cops had seen it all before; the ambo's washed the freeway clean -
There's no contest when you put a man up against a machine.