Pr0n Song

Mc Frontalot

Click close.
You gotta click close.

Just got hard-pressed underneath my desk
no jest! It's time Frontalot confessed:
at the best of times got the worst of rhymes
and I don't think I'm the first to find
my life devoted less to lyrics
than it is to my struggle for Pyrrhic
victory in the race to be
the intarweb's number one devotee
of smutty little things that occur on screen.
(Risqué to hey! Quintuple-X obscene.)
MILFs who shave themselves so cleanly
twins in positions unseemly.
My spleen ain't the part that gets vented
I grabbed a hold and fapped like I meant it.
Distended, probably oughta leave it alone
spend more time stroking on the microphone.

Got a boatload of midgets and they're in command
of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands.
Got a long hard donkey and a farmgirl too
and the braying's so dismaying when he starts to spoo.
You gotta click close, put it away
'cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Lurkin' in #pass chans on the IRC
got DCC'd unexpectedly
with an 80 minute XviD: Nuns in Heat
Part Three, Bad Habits. I'm so l337
that I had that one already.
Skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy.
Whipped it out, but to my chagrin
one toss from a win and the boss walked in
said "nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain't
for a latex crucifix spanking a taint
in big 32-bit color
while them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller."
I said "you can't fire me; I quit!"
Opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk
absconded, all with the data in hand:
31 years of Hustler scans
plans for how to construct a love-swing
archived since spring of '92
receipt for my RealDoll's stripper shoes
tools for an online poll I ran:
vote once! tub girl or goatse man?
Glands galore, explore for hours
diaper play and roman showers
glory hole video, deep as it gets
MPEGs of an heiress that she ought regret
cap'd on cam from a hijacked feed
half a terabyte, so whatcha need?
Got grannies in the front, trannies in the back
red on brown on blond on black
ganged up, tied up, all alone
every delectation to which I'm prone.

Got the Japanese schoolgirl tentacle love.
Got the furries in a flurry, they been yiffin' it up.
Got a Craig's List poster trading poo for pee.
Got a deep dark dungeon full of hot bi Swedes.
Gotta click close, put it away
'cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.
Click close, put it away
'cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Click close.
You gotta click close.

Backslash on my keyboard's stuck.
Mouse wheel don't turn 'cause it's all gummed up.
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