- 1
Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- 2
Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- 3
Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- 4
Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 5
Tism - Channel Turd
- 6
Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy
- 7
Tism - Kill Americans
- 8
Tism - Let's Club It To Death
- 9
Tism - Lyric For Jack
- 10
Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- 11
Tism - Mourningtown Ride
- 12
Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- 13
Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- 14
Tism - The Men's Room
- 15
Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- 16
Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz
- 17
Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- 18
Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- 19
Tism - 40 Years - Then Death
- 20
Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- 21
Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- 22
Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- 23
Tism - All Ordinaries Index
- 24
Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- 25
Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- 26
Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- 27
Tism - Aussiemandias
- 28
Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb
- 29
Tism - Babies Bite Back
- 30
Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler
- 31
Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger
- 32
Tism - Been Caught Wankin'
- 33
Tism - Bfw
- 34
Tism - Bishop = Handjob
- 35
Tism - Boot Party
- 36
Tism - Choose Bad Smack
- 37
Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- 38
Tism - Consumption Tax
- 39
Tism - Dazed And Confucious
- 40
Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- 41
Tism - Defecate On My Face
- 42
Tism - Denial Works For Me
- 43
Tism - Dicktatorship
- 44
Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- 45
Tism - Drop The 'tude
- 46
Tism - Dumb 'n' Base
- 47
Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly
- 48
Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- 49
Tism - Existentialtism
- 50
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King
- 51
Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- 52
Tism - Father And Son
- 53
Tism - Five Yards
- 54
Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville
- 55
Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- 56
Tism - Garbage
- 57
Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- 58
Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- 59
Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery
- 60
Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- 61
Tism - Give Up For Australia
- 62
Tism - Go The Knuckle
- 63
Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It
- 64
Tism - Great Expectorations
- 65
Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!
- 66
Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- 67
Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- 68
Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- 69
Tism - I Drive A Truck
- 70
Tism - I Go Off
- 71
Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- 72
Tism - I Shit Me
- 73
Tism - I'll 'ave Ya
- 74
Tism - I'm Into Led Zep
- 75
Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- 76
Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- 77
Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- 78
Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- 79
Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It
- 80
Tism - In Defense Of Poetry
- 81
Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- 82
Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball
- 83
Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- 84
Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- 85
Tism - Jung Talent Time
- 86
Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men
- 87
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism
- 88
Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- 89
Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- 90
Tism - Leo's Toltoy
- 91
Tism - Let's Form A Company
- 92
Tism - Life Kills
- 93
Tism - Life Kills 2
- 94
Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- 95
Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- 96
Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii
- 97
Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost
- 98
Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- 99
Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell
- 100
Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- 101
Tism - Morrison Hostel
- 102
Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- 103
Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- 104
Tism - My Generation
- 105
Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- 106
Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- 107
Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- 108
Tism - Opposite Day
- 109
Tism - Play Mistral For Me
- 110
Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- 111
Tism - Pus
- 112
Tism - Pus Of The Dead
- 113
Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep
- 114
Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch
- 115
Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
- 116
Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It
- 117
Tism - Root
- 118
Tism - Russia
- 119
Tism - Saturday Night Palsy
- 120
Tism - Schoolies Week
- 121
Tism - Sickie
- 122
Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools
- 123
Tism - Strictly Loungeroom
- 124
Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message
- 125
Tism - Take Your Love
- 126
Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces
- 127
Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus
- 128
Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- 129
Tism - The Art-income Dialectic
- 130
Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- 131
Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- 132
Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- 133
Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- 134
Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- 135
Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic
- 136
Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- 137
Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- 138
Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- 139
Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- 140
Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- 141
Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- 142
Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- 143
Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- 144
Tism - Tism Club Song
- 145
Tism - Volare
- 146
Tism - Watering Systems
- 147
Tism - We Are The Champignons
- 148
Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything
- 149
Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- 150
Tism - Whatareya
- 151
Tism - Whinge Rock
- 152
Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- 153
Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
- 154
Tism - Yob
If You're Ugly, Forget It
Tism
Immaculate shoulder?
Do you want to get
Your name on her folder?
Hope may spring eternal
But you should not let it:
Hear the unspoken words -
"If you're ugly, forget it".
Oh, can you see that guy?
No wonder you hate him:
He's captain of the footy -
You, of the debating.
You have the rest of your life
With which to regret it -
Obey the unstated rule:
"If you're ugly, forget it".
There's still one place left
For the desperate try hard -
Become an artist;
Join the avaunt garde.
But even in the ghettos
You're likely to get it -
That unbroken rule:
"If you're ugly, forget it".
And so to suicide
You are finally driven.
You'll ask old St. Peter,
"Can I get into heaven?"
He'll point to your tombstone -
The sentence? You've read it:
The unwritten law -
"If you're ugly, forget it".
The worst bands are the most popular.
Arseholes make the most money.
Insecure twats become famous.
Lunatics embrace religion.
Incompetent people are the loudest.
Stands of principle are the least genuine.
Government funding means people don't like it.
Well read people don't know anything.
The avant garde are deeply conservative.
Saving the world is a waste of resources.
Throw out what's useful and re-cycle your garbage.
Nothing happens to ambulance subscribers.
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