1. 1

    Tism - Bash This Up Your Ginger

  2. 2

    Tism - Existentialtism

  3. 3

    Tism - Get Thee To A Nunnery

  4. 4

    Tism - Honk If You Love Fred Durst

  5. 5

    Tism - I'm Interested In Apathy

  6. 6

    Tism - Lose Your Delusion Ii

  7. 7

    Tism - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre

  8. 8

    Tism - Put Your Dog To Sleep

  9. 9

    Tism - Saturday Night Palsy

  10. 10

    Tism - Strictly Loungeroom

  11. 11

    Tism - Ten Points For A Razor Scooter

  12. 12

    Tism - The Art-income Dialectic

  13. 13

    Tism - The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut

  14. 14

    Tism - (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River

  15. 15

    Tism - (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out

  16. 16

    Tism - (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur

  17. 17

    Tism - (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite

  18. 18

    Tism - 40 Years - Then Death

  19. 19

    Tism - A Faceful Of Divertimenti

  20. 20

    Tism - Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

  21. 21

    Tism - All Homeboys Are Dickheads

  22. 22

    Tism - All Ordinaries Index

  23. 23

    Tism - Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'

  24. 24

    Tism - And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To

  25. 25

    Tism - Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner

  26. 26

    Tism - Aussiemandias

  27. 27

    Tism - Australia - The World's Suburb

  28. 28

    Tism - Babies Bite Back

  29. 29

    Tism - Backstage With Ron Hitler

  30. 30

    Tism - Been Caught Wankin'

  31. 31

    Tism - Bfw

  32. 32

    Tism - Bishop = Handjob

  33. 33

    Tism - Boot Party

  34. 34

    Tism - Channel Turd

  35. 35

    Tism - Choose Bad Smack

  36. 36

    Tism - Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched

  37. 37

    Tism - Consumption Tax

  38. 38

    Tism - Dazed And Confucious

  39. 39

    Tism - Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway

  40. 40

    Tism - Defecate On My Face

  41. 41

    Tism - Denial Works For Me

  42. 42

    Tism - Dicktatorship

  43. 43

    Tism - Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen

  44. 44

    Tism - Drop The 'tude

  45. 45

    Tism - Dumb 'n' Base

  46. 46

    Tism - Eckermann Is Very Silly

  47. 47

    Tism - Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

  48. 48

    Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King

  49. 49

    Tism - Ezra Pound - Axe King 2

  50. 50

    Tism - Father And Son

  51. 51

    Tism - Five Yards

  52. 52

    Tism - Fourteen Years In Rowville

  53. 53

    Tism - Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em

  54. 54

    Tism - Garbage

  55. 55

    Tism - Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling

  56. 56

    Tism - Get Thee In My Behind, Satan

  57. 57

    Tism - Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown

  58. 58

    Tism - Give Up For Australia

  59. 59

    Tism - Go The Knuckle

  60. 60

    Tism - Gotta Root Out Of It

  61. 61

    Tism - Great Expectorations

  62. 62

    Tism - Greg! The Stop Sign!

  63. 63

    Tism - Hello To All Our New Tism Fans

  64. 64

    Tism - I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend

  65. 65

    Tism - I Drive A Truck

  66. 66

    Tism - I Go Off

  67. 67

    Tism - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt

  68. 68

    Tism - I Shit Me

  69. 69

    Tism - I'll 'ave Ya

  70. 70

    Tism - I'm Into Led Zep

  71. 71

    Tism - If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie

  72. 72

    Tism - If You Want The Toilet, You're In It

  73. 73

    Tism - If You're Creative, Get Stuffed

  74. 74

    Tism - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished

  75. 75

    Tism - If You're Ugly, Forget It

  76. 76

    Tism - In Defense Of Poetry

  77. 77

    Tism - Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge

  78. 78

    Tism - Jesus Pots The White Ball

  79. 79

    Tism - Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode

  80. 80

    Tism - Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)

  81. 81

    Tism - Jung Talent Time

  82. 82

    Tism - Kate, Fischer Of Men

  83. 83

    Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism

  84. 84

    Tism - Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4

  85. 85

    Tism - Kill Americans

  86. 86

    Tism - Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush

  87. 87

    Tism - Leo's Toltoy

  88. 88

    Tism - Let's Club It To Death

  89. 89

    Tism - Let's Form A Company

  90. 90

    Tism - Life Kills

  91. 91

    Tism - Life Kills 2

  92. 92

    Tism - Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli

  93. 93

    Tism - Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr

  94. 94

    Tism - Loser, Losing, Lost

  95. 95

    Tism - Lyric For Jack

  96. 96

    Tism - Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow

  97. 97

    Tism - Michael Hutchence In Hell

  98. 98

    Tism - Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt

  99. 99

    Tism - Mistah Eliot - He Wanker

  100. 100

    Tism - Morrison Hostel

  101. 101

    Tism - Mourningtown Ride

  102. 102

    Tism - Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General

  103. 103

    Tism - My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea

  104. 104

    Tism - My Generation

  105. 105

    Tism - Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours

  106. 106

    Tism - Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick

  107. 107

    Tism - Opposite Day

  108. 108

    Tism - Play Mistral For Me

  109. 109

    Tism - Professor Derrida Deconstructs

  110. 110

    Tism - Pus

  111. 111

    Tism - Pus Of The Dead

  112. 112

    Tism - Rebel Without A Paunch

  113. 113

    Tism - Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg

  114. 114

    Tism - Ron Hitler Barassi Talks About How He Does It

  115. 115

    Tism - Root

  116. 116

    Tism - Russia

  117. 117

    Tism - Schoolies Week

  118. 118

    Tism - Sickie

  119. 119

    Tism - State Schools Are Great Schools

  120. 120

    Tism - Subliminal Satanic Message

  121. 121

    Tism - Take Your Love

  122. 122

    Tism - Tale Of Two Faeces

  123. 123

    Tism - Teenage Fucking Jesus

  124. 124

    Tism - The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand

  125. 125

    Tism - The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped

  126. 126

    Tism - The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie

  127. 127

    Tism - The Ballad Of Paul Keating

  128. 128

    Tism - The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi

  129. 129

    Tism - The Fosters Carpark Boogie

  130. 130

    Tism - The Judeo-christian Ethic

  131. 131

    Tism - The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm

  132. 132

    Tism - The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby

  133. 133

    Tism - The Men's Room

  134. 134

    Tism - The Mordialloc Road Duplicator

  135. 135

    Tism - The Mystery Of The Artist Explained

  136. 136

    Tism - The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T

  137. 137

    Tism - The Tism Boat Hire Offer

  138. 138

    Tism - The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues

  139. 139

    Tism - There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows

  140. 140

    Tism - Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear

  141. 141

    Tism - Thunderbirds Are Coming Out

  142. 142

    Tism - Tism Club Song

  143. 143

    Tism - Untz Untz Untz Untz

  144. 144

    Tism - Volare

  145. 145

    Tism - Watering Systems

  146. 146

    Tism - We Are The Champignons

  147. 147

    Tism - Weddings, Parties, Anything

  148. 148

    Tism - Wham Bam Thank You Imam

  149. 149

    Tism - Whatareya

  150. 150

    Tism - While My Catarrh Gently Weeps

  151. 151

    Tism - Whinge Rock

  152. 152

    Tism - Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The

  153. 153

    Tism - X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse

  154. 154

    Tism - Yob

Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours

Tism

I
Cancer? Cancer?! I dream of cancer -
Cancer can eat my bones:
O, lucky I would consider myself
To be racked by cancerous moans.
A fate more evil, a life more lost
The Devil for me foresaw:
Imagine the day I woke to find
The Milats had moved next door!

II
Was I a man of the bourgeoisie?
Ha! Of course I was more than that!
I was a latte drinking, clever thinking
Documentary making pratt.
I ran my own film company,
I was an artist, I was sure.
Then I heard my neighbour say:
"I'm Alex Milat. I'm in next door."

III
My films explored the evil side
Of Mankind's unknowable self;
My kids all went to private schools,
My wife, she bloomed with health;
The critics applauded my visual style
And my dissection to the core
Of the Freudian, Jungian evil id.
Then the Milats moved next door.

IV
Ivan, of course, was doing time
But his brothers are all free men.
"There's me, there's Walter," said Alex Milat,
"And Richard - in all, there's ten.
Me and the wife moved in last week,
And when Richard's coming we're unsure.
You like films? Well, I'll bring over someÂ… shots.
Wink. Wink. We only live next door."

V
A shadow, a pall, hung over my days
The first weeks after I found out.
The bruchutto was off, the antipasto stale
At the cafes where we'd all hang out.
"It's good for your art," said my cameraman,
"They're just the sort your films explore."
"Fuck my films," I told Toby, "you pretentious git -
My fucking films don't knock on my door."

VI
My wife was a painter, sculptor too -
Her studio was set up at home.
"I can't stay here," she'd scream at me,
"It's impossible to work alone."
Her exhibition was coming up soon -
A review in the Age for sure.
"Just stay calm," I'd scream - so loudly, too,
I bet you they could've heard next door.

VII
A couple of months after they came
I got a call from my children's school:
"Your daughter's been caught smoking pot,
And your son's started playing the fool.
The counsellor's asked them both to say
If their home is quite safe and secure."
By his tone I knew straight away
He lay the blame right at my door.

VIII
My next film was a critical flop
For the first time in my career.
"He seems to have lost his ability
To show evil up close and near."
I read that review, and gave a laugh -
Critics always think they know more.
Fucking critics should try living up close
To the people who live next door.

IX
Toby left me the very next month
To shoot a Gillian Armstrong flick.
"You know," he told me when he left,
"I always thought you a soft cock prick."
Funding dried up; grants turned down;
My wife couldn't take any more:
"I'm leaving," she said, "I'm getting out.
I can't live here with them next door."

X
But the way she said it, how she left,
I knew the Milats were her excuse:
She married a successful film artist,
Not a failure. The final proof
Came when I heard three months later
She'd moved in with some director bore
Whose film was at Cannes. She was gone -
But I couldn't blame the people next door.

XI
My children went to some alternative school
Where all the hippy children go;
After that, we sort of lost contact -
I last heard from them two years ago.
I got a job in advertising
Shooting commercials - on video, what's more.
No super 8, only mainstream crap
Designed for the people who live next door.

XII
And yesterday came my greatest shock -
Oh, Truth comes bound in Pain:
I went to next door's intercom
And asked for Alex Milat by name.
"Who?" said a voice, incredulous.
"Why, they're not living here no more.
They moved out nearly two years ago.
Hey, aren't you the weirdo who lives next door?"

XIII
No matter how easy or sweet life is,
Be sure - your life will change;
There is a shadow hangs over us
That leaves none of us the same.
There is another person waiting to come
Buried in your deepest core:
You'll be found out. Who you really are
Lives behind your very own door.

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