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Hillbilly Honeymoon

Cledus T. Judd

Been together four years and have five kids
So we did the right thing and finally got hitched
We tracked down the preacher after altar call
And proceeded to the VFW Hall
When he said Cledus T. do you take (Debra Liz ???)
I stuttered I do knowin' I done did
The wedding cake was Moon Pie stacked three tiers
And the punch bowl flowed with Falstaff Beer
Now that's about as swanky as this town gets
For they don't throw rice heck they threw GRITS
No stretch limousine, just a full sized van
But at least we was headed to the promised land

On our hillbilly honeymoon
No champagne caviar or Cordon Bleu…
A can of Vienna Sausage and a Mountain Dew
And soda pop too
On our hillbilly honeymoon
Spent all our money on pay per view
Didn't need Playboy to get in the mood
Just a roller derby wrasslin and a Rambo II
And III and IV
I was up in the room
On our hillbilly honeymoon

Well after a while things simmered down
So we got dressed up for a night on the town
There ain't nothing too good for my sweetheart
Took a romantic stroll through the Super Wal*Mart
We got back wanting some fancy cuisine
We bought out the whole dern vending machine

MMM MMM good

On our hillbilly honeymoon
No dainty little plates of finger food
Just M&M's Snickers and tomato juice
And Cheez Wiz too
On our hillbilly honeymoon
I spent half our savings on the hardware aisle
She spent the rest on the latest styles
A thong underwear that drove me wild
Back in the room
I tried them on too
On our hillbilly honeymoon

Well it's been three years got four more young'uns
Ain't a lot of time for much kissin and a huggin
No No No
For the last eight weeks I slept on the couch
Think it's about time we renewed our vows

And took another hillbilly honeymoon
No (???) egg nog just barbecue
With a box of wine will be nice down too
Won't need a corkscrew
Yeah

On our hillbilly honeymoon
We can raid little Tommy's piggy bank
Scrape up a hundred dollars worth in change
Just enough for a night at the bowling lanes
And some new perfume
Cheap hotel room
On our hillbilly honeymoon

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