Jesus was a Jewish philosopher
Had a lot of nice ideas
About our existential fears
Much admired by his peers
Short and Jewish and quite political
Often hesitant and very analytical
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
Woody...Allen...Jesus!
Jesus was a great entertainer
Doing cools tricks all of the time
Turning water into wine
Make stormy weather fine
Even now his stunts confound us
Kind did what Derren Brown does
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Jesus
Magic...Woody...Allen...Jesus!
Jesus died but then came back to life
So the Holy Bible said
Kind like in Dawn of Dead
Like a movie by Silmon Pegg
Try that these days, you'd be in trouble
Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus
Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!
Jesus ascend into heaven
He was an incredible guy
Desappeared right into the sky
You don't often find fellas that fly
And only once did he use his ability
With a great power comes great responsibility
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Super-Hero Jesus
Jesus!
Jesus' mother gave birth to him
Without having sex with a dude
No, she would never be that rude
Never even being nude with the dude
Breeding without the opposite gender is
Commonly known as parthenogenesis
Other animals that don't need males
Include a lot of lizards, and various snails
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus
Jesus!
Jesus can communicate with the deceased
Like Psychic Sally
Jesus live forever, which is pretty odd
But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood
Jesus is in more than one place at a time
Like an electron or Schrödinger's feline
Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle
He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle
Jesus long hair, bare feet and a beard
Look, i'm not saying i am Jesus
I'm not saying that i am Jesus
I'm not saying that i am Jesus
I am Jesus!
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
Woody Allen Jesus!
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Super-Hero Komodo Dragon Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft Me Jesus!
