I was three fingers deep in a bottle of Jack
Planning my next bad decision out back
In walked a tall man dressed head-to-toe black
Boot heels clickin' like a prison rail track
His voice hit low like a freight train hymn
Made me wanna confess things I hadn't done yet
I laughed and said: Friend, you ain't no lawman's kind
He said: No, I reckon you and me run the same line
Remember that girl who called you darlin' after one damn fling?
Worked roots and wood magic like a conjure queen of spring
Now the bargain's called in, and I been sent instead
To drag your sorry hide back there to wed
I rob banks, dodge warrants, and sleep with snakes
But marriage? That's where this outlaw breaks
Commitment gives me hives, matrimony makes me whine
I was never born to walk the line
Then I leaned in close with a glorious plan
Said: What about Earl's boy? He's a wholesome kind of man
He likes homemade pie, don't cuss, don't flirt
Owns three good shirts without beer stains or dirt
That woman wants forever? Well, he's heaven-sent
Hell, he alphabetizes his farm equipment
Bet he says things like 'happy wife, happy life' without sounding dead inside
I'd rather kiss a rattlesnake mouth than spend Sundays picking curtain designs
I rob banks, dodge warrants, and sleep with snakes
But marriage? That's where this outlaw breaks
Commitment gives me hives, matrimony makes me whine
I was never born to walk the line
So fella raised his glass to mine, You got one principle you won't betray
I said: Yeah, matrimony ain't the outlaw way
And we drank until dawn bled gold through the blinds
Trading stories 'bout wardens, women, and county lines
I rob banks, dodge warrants, and sleep with snakes
But marriage? That's where this outlaw breaks
Commitment gives me hives, matrimony makes me whine
I was never born to walk the line
Wait, but why you?
'Cause outlaws know outlaws without a word explained
And some debts get settled with whiskey instead of chains
And before he vanished, he tipped his hat
Said: If I come back, have whiskey and cash
I said: Friend, around here that's all anybody ever asks
