1. 1

    MC Lars - (Lord It's Hard To Be Happy When You're Not) Using The Metric System

  2. 2

    MC Lars - Ahab

  3. 3

    MC Lars - Annabel Lee R.i.p.

  4. 4

    MC Lars - Art Of Darkness

  5. 5

    MC Lars - Download This Song

  6. 6

    MC Lars - Stat-60

  7. 7

    MC Lars - The Séance At Harpers Ferry

  8. 8

    MC Lars - This Gigantic Robot Kills

  9. 9

    MC Lars - (Rock) The Bells

  10. 10

    MC Lars - 21 Concepts

  11. 11

    MC Lars - 911 Am

  12. 12

    MC Lars - Altered State

  13. 13

    MC Lars - Atom You're Awesome

  14. 14

    MC Lars - Birth Of A Phish

  15. 15

    MC Lars - Buddhism For Dummies

  16. 16

    MC Lars - Carmen Sandiego Has Really Bad Morals

  17. 17

    MC Lars - Certified

  18. 18

    MC Lars - Child's Play

  19. 19

    MC Lars - Cry Tonight

  20. 20

    MC Lars - Cry Tonight

  21. 21

    MC Lars - Deangelo Vickers

  22. 22

    MC Lars - Do The Bruce Cambell

  23. 23

    MC Lars - Escape From Robot Island (featuring MNP)

  24. 24

    MC Lars - Everyone's a Little Bit Gay

  25. 25

    MC Lars - Flow Like Poe

  26. 26

    MC Lars - Francis Bacon Slashed The Canvas

  27. 27

    MC Lars - Gary The Green-nosed Reindeer

  28. 28

    MC Lars - Geeked Out

  29. 29

    MC Lars - Generic Crunk Rap

  30. 30

    MC Lars - Going Back To Brooklyn

  31. 31

    MC Lars - Guinevere

  32. 32

    MC Lars - Guitar Hero Hero

  33. 33

    MC Lars - Hey That's Me

  34. 34

    MC Lars - Hey There Ophelia

  35. 35

    MC Lars - Hipster Girl

  36. 36

    MC Lars - History's Greatest Assholes

  37. 37

    MC Lars - Hot Girls Make Guys do Really Stupid Things

  38. 38

    MC Lars - Hot Topic Is Not Punk Rock

  39. 39

    MC Lars - How To Be An Indie Rapper

  40. 40

    MC Lars - Humphrey the Whale

  41. 41

    MC Lars - Hurricane Fresh

  42. 42

    MC Lars - If I Had A Time Machine, That Would Be Fresh

  43. 43

    MC Lars - iGeneration

  44. 44

    MC Lars - Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)

  45. 45

    MC Lars - It's a Latin Thing

  46. 46

    MC Lars - It's A Party Y'all

  47. 47

    MC Lars - It's not easy (Being green)

  48. 48

    MC Lars - Judas Priest

  49. 49

    MC Lars - Kidney Stones For Easter

  50. 50

    MC Lars - Lars Attacks!

  51. 51

    MC Lars - Lenore (I Miss You)

  52. 52

    MC Lars - Lolita

  53. 53

    MC Lars - Make a Friend On 27Th Street

  54. 54

    MC Lars - Make Way for Ducklings

  55. 55

    MC Lars - Male Feminist

  56. 56

    MC Lars - Manifest Destiny

  57. 57

    MC Lars - Mike Russo Cut Your Hair

  58. 58

    MC Lars - Missing White Girl Syndrome

  59. 59

    MC Lars - Mr. Raven

  60. 60

    MC Lars - My Biochemical Romance

  61. 61

    MC Lars - My Rhyme's Rhyme

  62. 62

    MC Lars - My Rhymes Rhyme

  63. 63

    MC Lars - Nerdcore Died

  64. 64

    MC Lars - Nerdcore Players

  65. 65

    MC Lars - Oneonta (Eli Porter)

  66. 66

    MC Lars - Paul And Phil Are Friends

  67. 67

    MC Lars - Paul Is Dead

  68. 68

    MC Lars - Rapbeth (Foul is Fair)

  69. 69

    MC Lars - Rapgirl

  70. 70

    MC Lars - Reaping Beauty

  71. 71

    MC Lars - Rock Star

  72. 72

    MC Lars - Running Trains

  73. 73

    MC Lars - Sarah

  74. 74

    MC Lars - Scientology = WTF?

  75. 75

    MC Lars - Shvensen Fitzlogic

  76. 76

    MC Lars - Signing Emo

  77. 77

    MC Lars - Single And Famous

  78. 78

    MC Lars - Six Degrees Of Kurt Cobain

  79. 79

    MC Lars - Somebody's Watching Me

  80. 80

    MC Lars - Something Wicca This Way Comes

  81. 81

    MC Lars - Space Game

  82. 82

    MC Lars - Straight Outta Stockholm

  83. 83

    MC Lars - Summer Camp Love (Is So In Tents)

  84. 84

    MC Lars - Super Scope

  85. 85

    MC Lars - That's Cpr

  86. 86

    MC Lars - The Abridged Narrative Of Arthur Gordon Pym Of Nantucket

  87. 87

    MC Lars - The Bonus Track For Japan

  88. 88

    MC Lars - The Dialogue

  89. 89

    MC Lars - The Game

  90. 90

    MC Lars - The Giving Tree

  91. 91

    MC Lars - The Gospel Of Hip-hop

  92. 92

    MC Lars - The Lint Song

  93. 93

    MC Lars - The Roommate From Hell

  94. 94

    MC Lars - The TellTale

  95. 95

    MC Lars - True Player For Real

  96. 96

    MC Lars - Twenty-three

  97. 97

    MC Lars - Twenty-Three (2011 Remix)

  98. 98

    MC Lars - UK Vica Versa

  99. 99

    MC Lars - UK Visa Versa

  100. 100

    MC Lars - Venomous Box Jellyfish

  101. 101

    MC Lars - We Fresh

  102. 102

    MC Lars - We Have Arrived

  103. 103

    MC Lars - Where Ya Been Lars?

  104. 104

    MC Lars - White Kids Aren't Hyphy

  105. 105

    MC Lars - Yes I Am an Alien

Signing Emo

MC Lars

Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles...
Marty, Marty listen to me. Bring me something the kids will cry for.
Get out there, and get us stoked

Meet Marty, major label A&R scout, forty years old, gut hanginh out.
Red Ferrari, Marty livinh in L.A. bumps another line to get through the day.
Dumped by his girl, he paid for her liposuction,
His friends call him Money in his introduction.
And Marty knows nothing but claims to know it all,
Lose the flat screen TV if he drops the ball.
You're as good as your last hit, find the next big thing.
If he doesn't bring the bling, his cell phone won't ring.
What's the trend, what's new? What's a label scout to do? Office life, Marty 11:32.
The label pres. calls and yells, Sign more emo!
How about screamo? "If it sells, sign Nemo,"
"We're down 2%, and BMG knows,
My Daughter likes Dashboard, so get me one of those!"
He checks AP.net, the Scout and more,
yelling band names to his assistant through the door.
The kids like this, who cares if it's great?
So he signs a band called Hearts that Hate.

"Marty... we've got a hit."

Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
Cry tonight. My heart's in your hands.
I won't let you...

Hearts that Hate, Marty goes to their show, up in the club and here we go.
Marty sees a girl in a Simple Plan shirt with a Senses Fail boy, thatÕll never work.
He finds his label friends in the corner they huddle,
An emo cattle auction, they penetrate the bubble.
They talk about Victory and signing TBS,
Dissing the same bands they just tried to impress.
So the lights go down, the crowd starts to scream,
Hearts that Hate have hit the scene.
Blake on vocals, and lead guitar,
He does a backflip, "Look how different we are!"
They show up at the studio to record it,
A TRL, Billboard Modern Rock hit.
They auto-tune Blake, but he can't tell.
He says, "I've got perfect pitch, damn I sing well."
ProTools, Logic, cut, copy, paste, quantized solos and quantized bass.
Signed, sealed, deliver and sent, across the U.S. and the single went...

Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
Cry tonight. My heart's in your hands.
I won't let you DIE


Momentum builds, but it all caves in.
Industrial comes back, the pres. needs a NIN.
Marty finds a new band called "Fetal Coil"
And Hearts that Hate try to keep their fans loyal.
They re-work their sound for album number two,
As "Machines of Hate," but their career is through.
They break up and work pushing mops and brooms,
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room,
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.

Can you teach me track five Mr. Blake
Hey, I wrote that song and it goes like this

Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
My Hearts In Your Hands.
I won't Let you DIE
Cry Tonight (Die)
My Hearts In Your Hands.
I Won't Let You Die
Tonight. (Die)
My Hearts In Your Hands.

I won't let you... Die

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