1. 1

    MC Lars - This Gigantic Robot Kills

  2. 2

    MC Lars - If I Had A Time Machine, That Would Be Fresh

  3. 3

    MC Lars - The Gospel Of Hip-hop

  4. 4

    MC Lars - Annabel Lee R.i.p.

  5. 5

    MC Lars - Art Of Darkness

  6. 6

    MC Lars - Buddhism For Dummies

  7. 7

    MC Lars - Guinevere

  8. 8

    MC Lars - Guitar Hero Hero

  9. 9

    MC Lars - Hey There Ophelia

  10. 10

    MC Lars - Hurricane Fresh

  11. 11

    MC Lars - It's A Party Y'all

  12. 12

    MC Lars - My Rhyme's Rhyme

  13. 13

    MC Lars - Oneonta (Eli Porter)

  14. 14

    MC Lars - Paul And Phil Are Friends

  15. 15

    MC Lars - Running Trains

  16. 16

    MC Lars - Something Wicca This Way Comes

  17. 17

    MC Lars - Space Game

  18. 18

    MC Lars - Straight Outta Stockholm

  19. 19

    MC Lars - The Giving Tree

  20. 20

    MC Lars - UK Vica Versa

  21. 21

    MC Lars - We Have Arrived

  22. 22

    MC Lars - Yes I Am an Alien

  23. 23

    MC Lars - (Lord It's Hard To Be Happy When You're Not) Using The Metric System

  24. 24

    MC Lars - (Rock) The Bells

  25. 25

    MC Lars - 21 Concepts

  26. 26

    MC Lars - 911 Am

  27. 27

    MC Lars - Ahab

  28. 28

    MC Lars - Altered State

  29. 29

    MC Lars - Atom You're Awesome

  30. 30

    MC Lars - Birth Of A Phish

  31. 31

    MC Lars - Carmen Sandiego Has Really Bad Morals

  32. 32

    MC Lars - Certified

  33. 33

    MC Lars - Child's Play

  34. 34

    MC Lars - Cry Tonight

  35. 35

    MC Lars - Cry Tonight

  36. 36

    MC Lars - Deangelo Vickers

  37. 37

    MC Lars - Do The Bruce Cambell

  38. 38

    MC Lars - Download This Song

  39. 39

    MC Lars - Escape From Robot Island (featuring MNP)

  40. 40

    MC Lars - Everyone's a Little Bit Gay

  41. 41

    MC Lars - Flow Like Poe

  42. 42

    MC Lars - Francis Bacon Slashed The Canvas

  43. 43

    MC Lars - Gary The Green-nosed Reindeer

  44. 44

    MC Lars - Geeked Out

  45. 45

    MC Lars - Generic Crunk Rap

  46. 46

    MC Lars - Going Back To Brooklyn

  47. 47

    MC Lars - Hey That's Me

  48. 48

    MC Lars - Hipster Girl

  49. 49

    MC Lars - History's Greatest Assholes

  50. 50

    MC Lars - Hot Girls Make Guys do Really Stupid Things

  51. 51

    MC Lars - Hot Topic Is Not Punk Rock

  52. 52

    MC Lars - How To Be An Indie Rapper

  53. 53

    MC Lars - Humphrey the Whale

  54. 54

    MC Lars - iGeneration

  55. 55

    MC Lars - Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)

  56. 56

    MC Lars - It's a Latin Thing

  57. 57

    MC Lars - It's not easy (Being green)

  58. 58

    MC Lars - Judas Priest

  59. 59

    MC Lars - Kidney Stones For Easter

  60. 60

    MC Lars - Lars Attacks!

  61. 61

    MC Lars - Lenore (I Miss You)

  62. 62

    MC Lars - Lolita

  63. 63

    MC Lars - Make a Friend On 27Th Street

  64. 64

    MC Lars - Make Way for Ducklings

  65. 65

    MC Lars - Male Feminist

  66. 66

    MC Lars - Manifest Destiny

  67. 67

    MC Lars - Mike Russo Cut Your Hair

  68. 68

    MC Lars - Missing White Girl Syndrome

  69. 69

    MC Lars - Mr. Raven

  70. 70

    MC Lars - My Biochemical Romance

  71. 71

    MC Lars - My Rhymes Rhyme

  72. 72

    MC Lars - Nerdcore Died

  73. 73

    MC Lars - Nerdcore Players

  74. 74

    MC Lars - Paul Is Dead

  75. 75

    MC Lars - Rapbeth (Foul is Fair)

  76. 76

    MC Lars - Rapgirl

  77. 77

    MC Lars - Reaping Beauty

  78. 78

    MC Lars - Rock Star

  79. 79

    MC Lars - Sarah

  80. 80

    MC Lars - Scientology = WTF?

  81. 81

    MC Lars - Shvensen Fitzlogic

  82. 82

    MC Lars - Signing Emo

  83. 83

    MC Lars - Single And Famous

  84. 84

    MC Lars - Six Degrees Of Kurt Cobain

  85. 85

    MC Lars - Somebody's Watching Me

  86. 86

    MC Lars - Stat-60

  87. 87

    MC Lars - Summer Camp Love (Is So In Tents)

  88. 88

    MC Lars - Super Scope

  89. 89

    MC Lars - That's Cpr

  90. 90

    MC Lars - The Abridged Narrative Of Arthur Gordon Pym Of Nantucket

  91. 91

    MC Lars - The Bonus Track For Japan

  92. 92

    MC Lars - The Dialogue

  93. 93

    MC Lars - The Game

  94. 94

    MC Lars - The Lint Song

  95. 95

    MC Lars - The Roommate From Hell

  96. 96

    MC Lars - The Séance At Harpers Ferry

  97. 97

    MC Lars - The TellTale

  98. 98

    MC Lars - True Player For Real

  99. 99

    MC Lars - Twenty-three

  100. 100

    MC Lars - Twenty-Three (2011 Remix)

  101. 101

    MC Lars - UK Visa Versa

  102. 102

    MC Lars - Venomous Box Jellyfish

  103. 103

    MC Lars - We Fresh

  104. 104

    MC Lars - Where Ya Been Lars?

  105. 105

    MC Lars - White Kids Aren't Hyphy

Signing Emo

MC Lars

Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles...
Marty, Marty listen to me. Bring me something the kids will cry for.
Get out there, and get us stoked

Meet Marty, major label A&R scout, forty years old, gut hanginh out.
Red Ferrari, Marty livinh in L.A. bumps another line to get through the day.
Dumped by his girl, he paid for her liposuction,
His friends call him Money in his introduction.
And Marty knows nothing but claims to know it all,
Lose the flat screen TV if he drops the ball.
You're as good as your last hit, find the next big thing.
If he doesn't bring the bling, his cell phone won't ring.
What's the trend, what's new? What's a label scout to do? Office life, Marty 11:32.
The label pres. calls and yells, Sign more emo!
How about screamo? "If it sells, sign Nemo,"
"We're down 2%, and BMG knows,
My Daughter likes Dashboard, so get me one of those!"
He checks AP.net, the Scout and more,
yelling band names to his assistant through the door.
The kids like this, who cares if it's great?
So he signs a band called Hearts that Hate.

"Marty... we've got a hit."

Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
Cry tonight. My heart's in your hands.
I won't let you...

Hearts that Hate, Marty goes to their show, up in the club and here we go.
Marty sees a girl in a Simple Plan shirt with a Senses Fail boy, thatÕll never work.
He finds his label friends in the corner they huddle,
An emo cattle auction, they penetrate the bubble.
They talk about Victory and signing TBS,
Dissing the same bands they just tried to impress.
So the lights go down, the crowd starts to scream,
Hearts that Hate have hit the scene.
Blake on vocals, and lead guitar,
He does a backflip, "Look how different we are!"
They show up at the studio to record it,
A TRL, Billboard Modern Rock hit.
They auto-tune Blake, but he can't tell.
He says, "I've got perfect pitch, damn I sing well."
ProTools, Logic, cut, copy, paste, quantized solos and quantized bass.
Signed, sealed, deliver and sent, across the U.S. and the single went...

Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
Cry tonight. My heart's in your hands.
I won't let you DIE


Momentum builds, but it all caves in.
Industrial comes back, the pres. needs a NIN.
Marty finds a new band called "Fetal Coil"
And Hearts that Hate try to keep their fans loyal.
They re-work their sound for album number two,
As "Machines of Hate," but their career is through.
They break up and work pushing mops and brooms,
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room,
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.

Can you teach me track five Mr. Blake
Hey, I wrote that song and it goes like this

Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
My Hearts In Your Hands.
I won't Let you DIE
Cry Tonight (Die)
My Hearts In Your Hands.
I Won't Let You Die
Tonight. (Die)
My Hearts In Your Hands.

I won't let you... Die

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