1. 1

    Kinky Friedman - We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You

  2. 2

    Kinky Friedman - Ahab The Arab

  3. 3

    Kinky Friedman - Amelia Earhart's Last Fligh

  4. 4

    Kinky Friedman - Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way ?

  5. 5

    Kinky Friedman - Asshole from El Paso

  6. 6

    Kinky Friedman - Autograph

  7. 7

    Kinky Friedman - Bananas And Cream

  8. 8

    Kinky Friedman - Before All Hell Breaks Loose

  9. 9

    Kinky Friedman - Carrying The Torch

  10. 10

    Kinky Friedman - Catfish

  11. 11

    Kinky Friedman - Cotton-Eyed Joe

  12. 12

    Kinky Friedman - Dear Abbie

  13. 13

    Kinky Friedman - Father Let Thy Blessings

  14. 14

    Kinky Friedman - Flyin' Down the Freeway

  15. 15

    Kinky Friedman - Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed

  16. 16

    Kinky Friedman - Good-Hearted Woman

  17. 17

    Kinky Friedman - Highway Caf

  18. 18

    Kinky Friedman - Hobo's Lullaby

  19. 19

    Kinky Friedman - Homo Erectus

  20. 20

    Kinky Friedman - Jambalaya (On The Bayou)

  21. 21

    Kinky Friedman - Keep On The Sunnyside

  22. 22

    Kinky Friedman - Kinky

  23. 23

    Kinky Friedman - Lady Yesterday

  24. 24

    Kinky Friedman - London Homesick Blues

  25. 25

    Kinky Friedman - Lover Please

  26. 26

    Kinky Friedman - Luckenbach, Texas (Back To The Basics Of Love)

  27. 27

    Kinky Friedman - Mama, Baby, Mama Let Me Jump In Your Pajamas

  28. 28

    Kinky Friedman - Marilyn And Joe

  29. 29

    Kinky Friedman - Men's Room, L.A.

  30. 30

    Kinky Friedman - Miss Nickelodeon

  31. 31

    Kinky Friedman - Nashville Casualty And Life

  32. 32

    Kinky Friedman - Okie From Muskogee

  33. 33

    Kinky Friedman - Ol' Ben Lucas

  34. 34

    Kinky Friedman - Old Shep

  35. 35

    Kinky Friedman - People Who Read People Magazine

  36. 36

    Kinky Friedman - Popeye The Sailor Man

  37. 37

    Kinky Friedman - Pretty Boy Floyd

  38. 38

    Kinky Friedman - Put Another Log On The Fire

  39. 39

    Kinky Friedman - Ramblin' Boy

  40. 40

    Kinky Friedman - Rapid City, South Dakota

  41. 41

    Kinky Friedman - Ride 'em Jewboy

  42. 42

    Kinky Friedman - Shield Of Abraham

  43. 43

    Kinky Friedman - Silver Eagle Express

  44. 44

    Kinky Friedman - Skatin' On Thin Ice

  45. 45

    Kinky Friedman - Sold American

  46. 46

    Kinky Friedman - Somethin's Wrong With The Beaver

  47. 47

    Kinky Friedman - The Ballad of Charles Whitman

  48. 48

    Kinky Friedman - The Ballad Of Ira Hayes

  49. 49

    Kinky Friedman - The Boogie Man

  50. 50

    Kinky Friedman - The Gospel Accordin' To John

  51. 51

    Kinky Friedman - The Take-It-Easy Trailer Park

  52. 52

    Kinky Friedman - The Tramp On The Street

  53. 53

    Kinky Friedman - They Ain't Makin' Jews LiKe Jesus Anymore

  54. 54

    Kinky Friedman - Top Ten Commandments

  55. 55

    Kinky Friedman - Twinkle

  56. 56

    Kinky Friedman - Twirl

  57. 57

    Kinky Friedman - Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother

  58. 58

    Kinky Friedman - Wabash Cannonball

  59. 59

    Kinky Friedman - Waitret, Please, Waitret

  60. 60

    Kinky Friedman - Western Union Wire

  61. 61

    Kinky Friedman - Wheels

  62. 62

    Kinky Friedman - When the Lord Closes the Door (He Opens a Little Window)

  63. 63

    Kinky Friedman - Why Do You Bob Your Nose, Girl ? (Second Hand Nose)

  64. 64

    Kinky Friedman - Wild Man From Borneo

Ahab The Arab

Kinky Friedman

Let me tell you 'bout Ahab The Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just a dripping offa him
And a ring on every finger of his hands
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde...and ride
Spoken
Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he would
secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils, the swingingest
number one dancer in the Sultan's whole harem, 'cause, like him
and her had a thing going, you know, and they'd been carrying on
for some time now behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him
talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes, his voice
would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say
[imitate Arabic speech], which is Arabic for, "whoa,
Baby”! And Clyde'd say, [imitate camel voice].
Well…he brought his camel to a screeching halt
In the rear of Fatima's tent.
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner and into the tent he
went.
There he saw Fatima, laying on a Zebra skin rug,
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
And a bone in her nose ho, ho.
Spoken
There she was, friends and neighbors, laying there in all her
radiant beauty. Eating on a raisin, and a grape, and an apricot,
and a pomegranate, a bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three
Hershey bars, and sipping on a "ROC" Co-Cola,
listening to her transistor, watching the Grand Ole Opry, and
reading Mad magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum
lose its flavor”. And Ahab walked up to her and he'd say
[imitate Arabic], which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again
like we did last summer, baby" [giggles]. And she'd say
[coy, girlish laugh] "Crazy baby"!
[Background singers] Round and around and around and around and
around and around and around.
All of a sudden, the Sultan walked in.
Ahab knew that this was the end.
Him and Fatima was caught by surprise,
And the Sultan had fire flashing outta his eyes.
Well, the Sultan charged at Ahab, intending to make a dent…in
his head.
But he fled with Fatima, and out of the tent they went.
They jumped on Clyde and started to ride,
Cutting out across the sand,
With the Sultan's whole army in hot pursuit…on and on they
ran.
Spoken
Well, to make a long story short, they got away, cause there
weren't no animal alive what could keep up with Clyde once he
got started. Cuz he was the swiftest speed on the whole desert,
babies. And they made it across the border, where he had [can't
hear it] and rubies and emeralds and they bought ‘em a
swinging little split-level pad and lived happy ever after.
Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the Burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab
The swinging Sheik of the burnin' sand.

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