- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 3
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 4
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 5
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 6
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 7
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 8
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 9
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 10
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 11
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 12
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 13
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 14
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 15
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 16
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 17
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 18
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 19
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 20
Frank Zappa - Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- 21
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 22
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 23
Frank Zappa - San Ber'dino
- 24
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 25
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 26
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 27
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 28
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 29
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 30
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 31
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 32
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 33
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 34
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 35
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 36
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 37
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 38
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 39
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 40
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 41
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 42
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 43
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 44
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 45
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 46
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 47
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 48
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 49
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 50
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 51
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 52
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 53
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 54
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 55
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 56
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 57
Frank Zappa - Stick Together
- 58
Frank Zappa - The Air
- 59
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 60
Frank Zappa - The Dangerous Kitchen
- 61
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 62
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 63
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 64
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 65
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 66
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 67
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 68
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 69
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 70
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 71
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 72
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 73
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 74
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 75
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 76
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 77
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 78
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 79
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 80
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 81
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 82
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 83
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 84
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 85
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 86
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 87
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 88
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 89
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 90
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 91
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 92
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 93
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 94
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 95
Frank Zappa - Mr. Green Genes
- 96
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club
- 97
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 98
Frank Zappa - Room Service
- 99
Frank Zappa - Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
- 100
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 101
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 102
Frank Zappa - Stinkfoot
- 103
Frank Zappa - Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
- 104
Frank Zappa - Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- 105
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 106
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 107
Frank Zappa - The Poodle Lecture
- 108
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 109
Frank Zappa - Village Of The Sun
- 110
Frank Zappa - We Are Not Alone
- 111
Frank Zappa - What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- 112
Frank Zappa - What's New In Baltimore?
- 113
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 114
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 115
Frank Zappa - Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?
- 116
Frank Zappa - Won Ton On
- 117
Frank Zappa - Ya Hozna
- 118
Frank Zappa - Yo Cats
- 119
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 120
Frank Zappa - You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here
- 121
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 122
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 123
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 124
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 125
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 126
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 127
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 128
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 129
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 130
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 131
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 132
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 133
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 134
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 135
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 136
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 137
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 138
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 139
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 140
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 141
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 142
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 143
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 144
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 145
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 146
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 147
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 148
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 149
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 150
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 151
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 152
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 153
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 154
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 155
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 156
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 157
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 158
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 159
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 160
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 161
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 162
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 163
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 164
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 165
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 166
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 167
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 168
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 169
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 170
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 171
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 172
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 173
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 174
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 175
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 176
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 177
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 178
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 179
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 180
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 182
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 183
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 184
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 185
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 186
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 187
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 188
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 189
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 190
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 191
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 192
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 193
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 194
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 195
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 196
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 198
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 199
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 200
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 201
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 202
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 203
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 204
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 205
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 206
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 209
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 210
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 211
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 212
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 213
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 214
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 215
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 216
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 217
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 218
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 219
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 220
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 221
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 222
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 223
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 224
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 225
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 226
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 227
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 228
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 229
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 230
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 231
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 232
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 233
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 234
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 235
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 236
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 237
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 238
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 239
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 240
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 241
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 242
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 243
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 244
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 245
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 246
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 247
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 248
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 249
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 250
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 252
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 253
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 254
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 255
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 256
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 257
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 258
Frank Zappa - In France
- 259
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 260
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 261
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 262
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 263
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 264
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 265
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 266
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 267
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 268
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 269
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 270
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 271
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 272
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 273
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 274
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 275
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 276
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 277
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 278
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 279
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 280
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 281
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 282
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 283
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 284
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 285
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 286
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 287
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 288
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 289
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 291
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 293
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 294
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 295
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 296
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 297
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 298
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 299
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 300
Frank Zappa - Massagio Galore
The Poodle Lecture
Frank Zappa
In the beginning god made 'the light.' shortly thereafter god made three big
Mistakes. the first mistake was called man, the second mistake was called
Wo-man, and the third mistake was the invention of the poodle. now the reason
The poodle was such a big mistake is because god originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
Attractive dog. the poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
Piquant canine type body. that's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
Regular looking dog. you know it's true, i guess you do too. (oh, i have to
Kiss you? oh okay.)
Anyway listen, check this out. the poodle used to look good, you know the
Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
Didn't think anything of it. you know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
Olden days. but the wo-man, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
Man.
Guy in the audience:
You're the best!
Fz:
That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. now you're interrupting my
Story, now listen . . . what is that? is that the tower of power or what? oh no
No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. now listen:
The wo-man has always been much smarter than the man, you know this is true.
And so it was since the beginning of time. the man would do anything to get
Some pussy. and that's why the wo-man always had control over him.
In the beginning the wo-man looked the man directly into the eye and said: "i
Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because i could use a few nice things
Around the house. mainly what i need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
Zircon encrusted tweezers." (thank you very much.)
And of course the man did his duty as they say in the trade. he went out and he
Got a goddamn job. went out and pushed that broom around for about a
Dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of eden and gave that
Money to the wo-man.
The wo-man ran out the back door of the garden of eden, went directly to the
Hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
Tweezers and came back and, while the man was very tired from having his job,
While he was sleeping, the wo-man got a hold of the poodle. because the wo-man
Had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
Much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. it
Didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.
And so the wo-man sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. let me get a little
Uh, visual aid . . .
Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. you see, she took a
Little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
Mouth set up like that. and squatted right on him. looking down into the dog's
Eyes. she looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
Dog? she said:
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