- 1
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 3
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 4
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 5
Frank Zappa - Penis Dimension
- 6
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 7
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 8
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 9
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 10
Frank Zappa - No No No
- 11
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 12
Frank Zappa - Sleeping In A Jar
- 13
Frank Zappa - Our Bizarre Relationship
- 14
Frank Zappa - Prologue
- 15
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 16
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 17
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 18
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 19
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 20
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 21
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 22
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 23
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 24
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 25
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 26
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- 27
Frank Zappa - The Air
- 28
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 29
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 30
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 31
Frank Zappa - The Downtown Talent Scout
- 32
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 33
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 34
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 35
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 36
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 37
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 38
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 39
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 40
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club
- 41
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 42
Frank Zappa - Stuff Up The Cracks
- 43
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 44
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 45
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 46
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 47
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 48
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 49
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 50
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 51
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 52
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 53
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 54
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 55
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 56
Frank Zappa - Uncle Bernie's Farm
- 57
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 58
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 59
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 60
Frank Zappa - The Duke of Prunes
- 61
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 62
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 63
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 64
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 65
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 66
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 67
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 68
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 69
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 70
Frank Zappa - Ronnie's Booger Story
- 71
Frank Zappa - The Crab-Grass Baby
- 72
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 73
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 74
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 75
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 76
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 77
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 78
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 79
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 80
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 81
Frank Zappa - Mystery Roach
- 82
Frank Zappa - Oh-Umm
- 83
Frank Zappa - Ride My Face To Chicago
- 84
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 85
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 86
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 87
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 88
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 89
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 90
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 91
Frank Zappa - Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt
- 92
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 93
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 94
Frank Zappa - Tell Me You Love Me
- 95
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 96
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 97
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 98
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 99
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 100
Frank Zappa - Would You Like A Snack?
- 101
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 102
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 103
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 104
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 105
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 106
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 107
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 108
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 109
Frank Zappa - Soft-sell Conclusion
- 110
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 111
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 112
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 113
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 114
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 115
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 116
Frank Zappa - The Finale
- 117
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 118
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 119
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 120
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 121
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 122
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 123
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 124
Frank Zappa - Society Pages
- 125
Frank Zappa - Spider Of Destiny
- 126
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 127
Frank Zappa - Sweet Leilani
- 128
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 129
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Bolero
- 130
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 131
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 132
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 133
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 134
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 135
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 136
Frank Zappa - The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- 137
Frank Zappa - What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- 138
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 139
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 140
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 141
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 142
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 143
Frank Zappa - Porn Wars
- 144
Frank Zappa - Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
- 145
Frank Zappa - The Florida Airport Tape
- 146
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 147
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 148
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 149
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 150
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 151
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 152
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 153
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 154
Frank Zappa - No, No Cherry
- 155
Frank Zappa - The Idiot Bastard Son
- 156
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 157
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 158
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 159
Frank Zappa - The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth
- 160
Frank Zappa - What's New In Baltimore?
- 161
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 162
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 163
Frank Zappa - Mr. Green Genes
- 164
Frank Zappa - Planet Of My Dreams
- 165
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 166
Frank Zappa - The Dead Girls Of London
- 167
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 168
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Promenade
- 169
Frank Zappa - When The Lie's So Big
- 170
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 171
Frank Zappa - This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)
- 172
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 173
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 174
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 175
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 176
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 177
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 178
Frank Zappa - Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- 179
Frank Zappa - The White Boy Troubles
- 180
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 181
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 182
Frank Zappa - Semi-Fraudulent/Direct-From-Hollywood Overture
- 183
Frank Zappa - Smell My Beard
- 184
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 185
Frank Zappa - Truck Driver Divorce
- 186
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 187
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Workin' In The Gas Station
- 188
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- 189
Frank Zappa - Wowie Zowie
- 190
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 191
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 192
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 193
Frank Zappa - Montana (Whipping Floss)
- 194
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 195
Frank Zappa - Tears Began To Fall
- 196
Frank Zappa - Tiny Sick Tears
- 197
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 198
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 199
Frank Zappa - Would You Go All The Way?
- 200
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
- 201
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 202
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 203
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 204
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 205
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 206
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 207
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 208
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 209
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 210
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 211
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 212
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 213
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 214
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 215
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 216
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 217
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 218
Frank Zappa - Murder By Numbers
- 219
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 220
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 221
Frank Zappa - Once Upon A Time
- 222
Frank Zappa - Pick Me, I'm Clean
- 223
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Extreme
- 224
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 225
Frank Zappa - Take Me Out To The Ball Game
- 226
Frank Zappa - The Dangerous Kitchen
- 227
Frank Zappa - The Orange County Lumber Truck
- 228
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 229
Frank Zappa - The Untouchables
- 230
Frank Zappa - Village Of The Sun
- 231
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 232
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- 233
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 234
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 235
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 236
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 237
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 238
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 239
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 240
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 241
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 242
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 243
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 244
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 245
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 246
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 247
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 248
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 249
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 250
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 251
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 252
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 253
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 254
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 255
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 256
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 257
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 258
Frank Zappa - Master Ringo
- 259
Frank Zappa - No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve
- 260
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 261
Frank Zappa - Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke
- 262
Frank Zappa - Ronnie Sings?
- 263
Frank Zappa - San Ber'dino
- 264
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 265
Frank Zappa - Semi-Fraudulent...
- 266
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 267
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 268
Frank Zappa - Stick Together
- 269
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 270
Frank Zappa - Teen-Age Prostitute
- 271
Frank Zappa - Telephone Conversation
- 272
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 273
Frank Zappa - The Black Page
- 274
Frank Zappa - The Blue Light
- 275
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 276
Frank Zappa - The Little March
- 277
Frank Zappa - The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
- 278
Frank Zappa - The Man From Utopia
- 279
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 280
Frank Zappa - The Radio Is Broken
- 281
Frank Zappa - The Uncle Meat Variations
- 282
Frank Zappa - This Town Is Just A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)
- 283
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 284
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 285
Frank Zappa - Underground Freak-Out Music
- 286
Frank Zappa - We're Turning Again
- 287
Frank Zappa - Weasels Ripped My Flesh
- 288
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 289
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 290
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 291
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 292
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 293
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 294
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 295
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 296
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 297
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 298
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 299
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 300
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!