- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 3
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 4
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 5
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 6
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 7
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 8
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 9
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 10
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 11
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 12
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 13
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 14
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 15
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 16
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 17
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 18
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 19
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 20
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 21
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 22
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 23
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 24
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 25
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 26
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 27
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 28
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 29
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 30
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 31
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 32
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 33
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 34
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 35
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 36
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 37
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 38
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 39
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 40
Frank Zappa - In France
- 41
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 42
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 43
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 44
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 45
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 46
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 47
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 48
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 49
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 50
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 51
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 52
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 53
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 54
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 55
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 56
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 57
Frank Zappa - Planet Of My Dreams
- 58
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 59
Frank Zappa - Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- 60
Frank Zappa - The Little House I Used To Live
- 61
Frank Zappa - What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?
- 62
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 63
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 64
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 65
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 66
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 67
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 68
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 69
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 70
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 71
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 72
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 73
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 74
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 75
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 76
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 77
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 78
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 79
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 80
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 81
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 82
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 83
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 84
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 85
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 86
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 87
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 88
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 89
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 90
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 91
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 92
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 93
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 94
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 95
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 96
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 97
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 98
Frank Zappa - Our Bizarre Relationship
- 99
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 100
Frank Zappa - Penis Dimension
- 101
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylyte
- 102
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 103
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- 104
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 105
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 106
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 107
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 108
Frank Zappa - Sleeping In A Jar
- 109
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 110
Frank Zappa - Soft-sell Conclusion
- 111
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 112
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 113
Frank Zappa - Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
- 114
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 115
Frank Zappa - That Evil Prince
- 116
Frank Zappa - The Closer You Are
- 117
Frank Zappa - The Girls Dream
- 118
Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine
- 119
Frank Zappa - Titties 'N' Beer
- 120
Frank Zappa - Truck Driver Divorce
- 121
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 122
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Bolero
- 123
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 124
Frank Zappa - What Kind Of Girl?
- 125
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 126
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- 127
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Wino
- 128
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 129
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 130
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 131
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 132
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 133
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 134
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 135
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 136
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 137
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 138
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 139
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 140
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 141
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 142
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 143
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 144
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 145
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 146
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 147
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 148
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 149
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 150
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 151
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 152
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 153
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 154
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 155
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 156
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 157
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 158
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 159
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 160
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 161
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 162
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 163
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 164
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 165
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 166
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 167
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 168
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 169
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 170
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 171
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 172
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 173
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 174
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 175
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 176
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 177
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 178
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 179
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 180
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 182
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 183
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 184
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 185
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 186
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 188
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 189
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 190
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 191
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 192
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 193
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 194
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 195
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 196
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 198
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 199
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 200
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 202
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 203
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 204
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 205
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 206
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 209
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 210
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 211
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 212
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 213
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 214
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 215
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 216
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 217
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 218
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 219
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 220
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 221
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 222
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 223
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 224
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 225
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 226
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 227
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 228
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 229
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 230
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 231
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 232
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 233
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 234
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 235
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 236
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 237
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 238
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 239
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 240
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 241
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 242
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 243
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 244
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 245
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 246
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 247
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 248
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 249
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 250
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 252
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 253
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 254
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 255
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 256
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 257
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 258
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 259
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 260
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 261
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 262
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 263
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 264
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 265
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 266
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 267
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 268
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 269
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 270
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 271
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 272
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 273
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 274
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 275
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 276
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 277
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 278
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 279
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 280
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 281
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 282
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 283
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 284
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 285
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 286
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 287
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 288
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 289
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 291
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 293
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 295
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 296
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 297
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 298
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 299
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 300
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!