- 1
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 3
Frank Zappa - Penis Dimension
- 4
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 5
Frank Zappa - Prologue
- 6
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 7
Frank Zappa - No No No
- 8
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 9
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 10
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 11
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 12
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 13
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 14
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 15
Frank Zappa - Our Bizarre Relationship
- 16
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 17
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- 18
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 19
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 20
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 21
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 22
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 23
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 24
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 25
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 26
Frank Zappa - Sleeping In A Jar
- 27
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 28
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 29
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 30
Frank Zappa - Ride My Face To Chicago
- 31
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 32
Frank Zappa - Stuff Up The Cracks
- 33
Frank Zappa - The Air
- 34
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 35
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 36
Frank Zappa - The Downtown Talent Scout
- 37
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 38
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 39
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 40
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 41
Frank Zappa - The Duke of Prunes
- 42
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 43
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 44
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 45
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 46
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 47
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 48
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 49
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 50
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 51
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 52
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 53
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 54
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 55
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 56
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club
- 57
Frank Zappa - Uncle Bernie's Farm
- 58
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 59
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 60
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 61
Frank Zappa - Ronnie's Booger Story
- 62
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 63
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 64
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 65
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 66
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 67
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 68
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 69
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 70
Frank Zappa - Mystery Roach
- 71
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 72
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 73
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 74
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 75
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 76
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 77
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 78
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 79
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 80
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 81
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 82
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 83
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 84
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 85
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 86
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 87
Frank Zappa - The Crab-Grass Baby
- 88
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 89
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 90
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 91
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 92
Frank Zappa - Oh-Umm
- 93
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 94
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 95
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 96
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 97
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 98
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 99
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 100
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Bolero
- 101
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 102
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 103
Frank Zappa - Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt
- 104
Frank Zappa - Spider Of Destiny
- 105
Frank Zappa - Tell Me You Love Me
- 106
Frank Zappa - Would You Like A Snack?
- 107
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 108
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 109
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 110
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 111
Frank Zappa - Soft-sell Conclusion
- 112
Frank Zappa - The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- 113
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 114
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 115
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 116
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 117
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 118
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 119
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 120
Frank Zappa - The Finale
- 121
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 122
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 123
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 124
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 125
Frank Zappa - Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
- 126
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 127
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 128
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 129
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 130
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 131
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 132
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 133
Frank Zappa - Sweet Leilani
- 134
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 135
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 136
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 137
Frank Zappa - Society Pages
- 138
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 139
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 140
Frank Zappa - Porn Wars
- 141
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 142
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 143
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 144
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 145
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 146
Frank Zappa - Planet Of My Dreams
- 147
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 148
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 149
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 150
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 151
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 152
Frank Zappa - Mr. Green Genes
- 153
Frank Zappa - The Dead Girls Of London
- 154
Frank Zappa - The Florida Airport Tape
- 155
Frank Zappa - The Idiot Bastard Son
- 156
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 157
Frank Zappa - No, No Cherry
- 158
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 159
Frank Zappa - The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth
- 160
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Promenade
- 161
Frank Zappa - What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- 162
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 163
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 164
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 165
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 166
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 167
Frank Zappa - What's New In Baltimore?
- 168
Frank Zappa - When The Lie's So Big
- 169
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 170
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 171
Frank Zappa - This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)
- 172
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 173
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 174
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 175
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 176
Frank Zappa - Murder By Numbers
- 177
Frank Zappa - Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- 178
Frank Zappa - The White Boy Troubles
- 179
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 180
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 181
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 182
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 183
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 184
Frank Zappa - Semi-Fraudulent/Direct-From-Hollywood Overture
- 185
Frank Zappa - The Blue Light
- 186
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 187
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 188
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 189
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 190
Frank Zappa - Montana (Whipping Floss)
- 191
Frank Zappa - Smell My Beard
- 192
Frank Zappa - Take Me Out To The Ball Game
- 193
Frank Zappa - Truck Driver Divorce
- 194
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
- 195
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 196
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 197
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 198
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 199
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 200
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 201
Frank Zappa - Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke
- 202
Frank Zappa - Tears Began To Fall
- 203
Frank Zappa - The Orange County Lumber Truck
- 204
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 205
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 206
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Workin' In The Gas Station
- 207
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- 208
Frank Zappa - Would You Go All The Way?
- 209
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 210
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 211
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 212
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 213
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 214
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 215
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 216
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 217
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 218
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 219
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 220
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 221
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 222
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 223
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 224
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 225
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 226
Frank Zappa - Once Upon A Time
- 227
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Extreme
- 228
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 229
Frank Zappa - The Dangerous Kitchen
- 230
Frank Zappa - The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
- 231
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 232
Frank Zappa - The Uncle Meat Variations
- 233
Frank Zappa - The Untouchables
- 234
Frank Zappa - Tiny Sick Tears
- 235
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 236
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 237
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- 238
Frank Zappa - Wowie Zowie
- 239
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 240
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 241
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 242
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 243
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 244
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 245
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 246
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 247
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 248
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 249
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 250
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 251
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 252
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 253
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 254
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 255
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 256
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 257
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 258
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 259
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 260
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 261
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 262
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 263
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 264
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 265
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 266
Frank Zappa - Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
- 267
Frank Zappa - No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve
- 268
Frank Zappa - Pick Me, I'm Clean
- 269
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 270
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylite
- 271
Frank Zappa - Ronnie Sings?
- 272
Frank Zappa - Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme
- 273
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 274
Frank Zappa - Semi-Fraudulent...
- 275
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 276
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 277
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 278
Frank Zappa - Son Of Suzy Creamcheese
- 279
Frank Zappa - St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 280
Frank Zappa - Stick Together
- 281
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump
- 282
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 283
Frank Zappa - Teen-Age Prostitute
- 284
Frank Zappa - Telephone Conversation
- 285
Frank Zappa - The Black Page
- 286
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 287
Frank Zappa - The Little March
- 288
Frank Zappa - The Massive Improve'lence
- 289
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 290
Frank Zappa - The Poodle Lecture
- 291
Frank Zappa - The Radio Is Broken
- 292
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 293
Frank Zappa - The Voice Of Cheese
- 294
Frank Zappa - This Town Is Just A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)
- 295
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 296
Frank Zappa - Very Distraughtening
- 297
Frank Zappa - Village Of The Sun
- 298
Frank Zappa - We're Turning Again
- 299
Frank Zappa - Weasels Ripped My Flesh
- 300
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
The Poodle Lecture
Frank Zappa
In the beginning god made 'the light.' shortly thereafter god made three big
Mistakes. the first mistake was called man, the second mistake was called
Wo-man, and the third mistake was the invention of the poodle. now the reason
The poodle was such a big mistake is because god originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
Attractive dog. the poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
Piquant canine type body. that's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
Regular looking dog. you know it's true, i guess you do too. (oh, i have to
Kiss you? oh okay.)
Anyway listen, check this out. the poodle used to look good, you know the
Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
Didn't think anything of it. you know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
Olden days. but the wo-man, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
Man.
Guy in the audience:
You're the best!
Fz:
That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. now you're interrupting my
Story, now listen . . . what is that? is that the tower of power or what? oh no
No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. now listen:
The wo-man has always been much smarter than the man, you know this is true.
And so it was since the beginning of time. the man would do anything to get
Some pussy. and that's why the wo-man always had control over him.
In the beginning the wo-man looked the man directly into the eye and said: "i
Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because i could use a few nice things
Around the house. mainly what i need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
Zircon encrusted tweezers." (thank you very much.)
And of course the man did his duty as they say in the trade. he went out and he
Got a goddamn job. went out and pushed that broom around for about a
Dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of eden and gave that
Money to the wo-man.
The wo-man ran out the back door of the garden of eden, went directly to the
Hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
Tweezers and came back and, while the man was very tired from having his job,
While he was sleeping, the wo-man got a hold of the poodle. because the wo-man
Had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
Much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. it
Didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.
And so the wo-man sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. let me get a little
Uh, visual aid . . .
Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. you see, she took a
Little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
Mouth set up like that. and squatted right on him. looking down into the dog's
Eyes. she looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
Dog? she said: