- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 3
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 4
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 5
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 6
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 7
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 8
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 9
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 10
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 11
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 12
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 13
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 14
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 15
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 16
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 17
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 18
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 19
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 20
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 21
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 22
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 23
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 24
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 25
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 26
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 27
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 28
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 29
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 30
Frank Zappa - The Man From Utopia
- 31
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 32
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 33
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 34
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 35
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 36
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 37
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 38
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 39
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 40
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 41
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 42
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 43
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 44
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 45
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 46
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 47
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 48
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 49
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 50
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 51
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 52
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 53
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 54
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 55
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 56
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 57
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 58
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 59
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 60
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump
- 61
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 62
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 63
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 64
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 65
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 66
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 67
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 68
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 69
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 70
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 71
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 72
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 73
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 74
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 75
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 76
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 77
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 78
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 79
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 80
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 81
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 82
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 83
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 84
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 85
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 86
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 87
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 88
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 89
Frank Zappa - Murder By Numbers
- 90
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 91
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 92
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 93
Frank Zappa - Panty Rap
- 94
Frank Zappa - Porn Wars
- 95
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 96
Frank Zappa - San Ber'dino
- 97
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 98
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 99
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 100
Frank Zappa - Stevie's Spanking
- 101
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 102
Frank Zappa - The Duke Regains His Chops
- 103
Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit
- 104
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 105
Frank Zappa - The Little House I Used To Live
- 106
Frank Zappa - The Poodle Lecture
- 107
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 108
Frank Zappa - The Voice Of Cheese
- 109
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 110
Frank Zappa - Underground Freak-Out Music
- 111
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 112
Frank Zappa - What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?
- 113
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 114
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 115
Frank Zappa - Wowie Zowie
- 116
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 117
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 118
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 119
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 120
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 121
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 122
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 123
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 124
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 125
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 126
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 127
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 128
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 129
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 130
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 131
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 132
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 133
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 134
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 135
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 136
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 137
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 138
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 139
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 140
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 141
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 142
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 143
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 144
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 145
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 146
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 147
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 148
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 149
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 150
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 151
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 152
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 153
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 154
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 155
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 156
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 157
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 158
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 159
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 160
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 161
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 162
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 163
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 164
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 165
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 166
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 167
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 168
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 169
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 170
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 171
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 172
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 173
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 174
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 175
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 176
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 177
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 178
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 179
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 180
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 181
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 182
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 183
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 184
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 185
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 186
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 187
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 188
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 189
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 190
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 191
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 192
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 193
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 194
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 195
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 196
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 197
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 198
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 199
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 200
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 201
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 202
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 203
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 204
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 205
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 206
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 207
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 208
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 209
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 210
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 211
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 212
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 213
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 214
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 215
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 216
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 217
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 218
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 219
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 220
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 221
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 222
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 223
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 224
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 225
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 226
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 227
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 228
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 229
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 230
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 231
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 232
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 233
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 234
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 235
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 236
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 237
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 238
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 239
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 240
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 241
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 242
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 243
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 244
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 245
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 246
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 247
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 248
Frank Zappa - In France
- 249
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 250
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 251
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 252
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 253
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 254
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 255
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 256
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 257
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 258
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 259
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 260
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 261
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 262
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 263
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 264
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 265
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 266
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 267
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 268
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 269
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 270
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 271
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 272
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 273
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 274
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 275
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 276
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 277
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 278
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 279
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 280
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 281
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 282
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 283
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 284
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 285
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 286
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 287
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 288
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 289
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 290
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 291
Frank Zappa - Massagio Galore
- 292
Frank Zappa - Master Ringo
- 293
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 294
Frank Zappa - Moggio
- 295
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 296
Frank Zappa - Montana (Whipping Floss)
- 297
Frank Zappa - More Trouble Every Day
- 298
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 299
Frank Zappa - Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt
- 300
Frank Zappa - Mr. Green Genes
The Poodle Lecture
Frank Zappa
In the beginning god made 'the light.' shortly thereafter god made three big
Mistakes. the first mistake was called man, the second mistake was called
Wo-man, and the third mistake was the invention of the poodle. now the reason
The poodle was such a big mistake is because god originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
Attractive dog. the poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
Piquant canine type body. that's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
Regular looking dog. you know it's true, i guess you do too. (oh, i have to
Kiss you? oh okay.)
Anyway listen, check this out. the poodle used to look good, you know the
Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
Didn't think anything of it. you know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
Olden days. but the wo-man, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
Man.
Guy in the audience:
You're the best!
Fz:
That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. now you're interrupting my
Story, now listen . . . what is that? is that the tower of power or what? oh no
No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. now listen:
The wo-man has always been much smarter than the man, you know this is true.
And so it was since the beginning of time. the man would do anything to get
Some pussy. and that's why the wo-man always had control over him.
In the beginning the wo-man looked the man directly into the eye and said: "i
Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because i could use a few nice things
Around the house. mainly what i need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
Zircon encrusted tweezers." (thank you very much.)
And of course the man did his duty as they say in the trade. he went out and he
Got a goddamn job. went out and pushed that broom around for about a
Dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of eden and gave that
Money to the wo-man.
The wo-man ran out the back door of the garden of eden, went directly to the
Hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
Tweezers and came back and, while the man was very tired from having his job,
While he was sleeping, the wo-man got a hold of the poodle. because the wo-man
Had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
Much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. it
Didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.
And so the wo-man sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. let me get a little
Uh, visual aid . . .
Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. you see, she took a
Little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
Mouth set up like that. and squatted right on him. looking down into the dog's
Eyes. she looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
Dog? she said: