- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 3
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 4
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 5
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 6
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 7
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 8
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 9
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 10
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 11
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 12
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 13
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 14
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 15
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 16
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 17
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 18
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 19
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 20
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 21
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 22
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 23
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 24
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 25
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 26
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 27
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 28
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 29
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 30
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 31
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 32
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 33
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 34
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 35
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 36
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 37
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 38
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 39
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 40
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 41
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 42
Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit
- 43
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 44
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 45
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 46
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 47
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 48
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 49
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 50
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 51
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 52
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 53
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 54
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 55
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 56
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 57
Frank Zappa - Mr. Green Genes
- 58
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 59
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 60
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 61
Frank Zappa - Stevie's Spanking
- 62
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 63
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 64
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 65
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 66
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 67
Frank Zappa - Truck Driver Divorce
- 68
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 69
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 70
Frank Zappa - Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- 71
Frank Zappa - Wplj
- 72
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 73
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 74
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 75
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 76
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 77
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 78
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 79
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 80
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 81
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 82
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 83
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 84
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 85
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 86
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 87
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 88
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 89
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 90
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 91
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 92
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 93
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 94
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 95
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 96
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 97
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 98
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 99
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 100
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 101
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 102
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 103
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 104
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 105
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 106
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 107
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 108
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club
- 109
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 110
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 111
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 112
Frank Zappa - Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
- 113
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylyte
- 114
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 115
Frank Zappa - San Ber'dino
- 116
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 117
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 118
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 119
Frank Zappa - Son Of Suzy Creamcheese
- 120
Frank Zappa - Status Back Baby
- 121
Frank Zappa - Stick Together
- 122
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump
- 123
Frank Zappa - Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
- 124
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 125
Frank Zappa - The Beatles Medley
- 126
Frank Zappa - The Black Page
- 127
Frank Zappa - The Closer You Are
- 128
Frank Zappa - The Duke of Prunes
- 129
Frank Zappa - The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson
- 130
Frank Zappa - The Little House I Used To Live
- 131
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 132
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 133
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 134
Frank Zappa - The Uncle Meat Variations
- 135
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 136
Frank Zappa - We Are Not Alone
- 137
Frank Zappa - Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?
- 138
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 139
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 140
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
- 141
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 142
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 143
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 144
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 145
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 146
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 147
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 148
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 149
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 150
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 151
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 152
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 153
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 154
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 155
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 156
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 157
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 158
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 159
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 160
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 161
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 162
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 163
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 164
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 165
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 166
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 167
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 168
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 169
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 170
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 171
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 172
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 173
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 174
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 175
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 176
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 177
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 178
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 179
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 180
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 181
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 182
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 183
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 184
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 185
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 186
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 188
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 189
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 190
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 191
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 192
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 193
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 194
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 195
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 196
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 197
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 198
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 199
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 200
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 201
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 202
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 203
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 204
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 205
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 206
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 207
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 208
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 209
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 210
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 211
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 212
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 213
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 214
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 215
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 216
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 217
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 218
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 219
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 220
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 221
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 222
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 223
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 224
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 225
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 226
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 227
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 228
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 229
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 230
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 231
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 232
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 233
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 234
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 235
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 236
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 237
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 238
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 239
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 240
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 241
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 242
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 243
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 244
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 245
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 246
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 247
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 248
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 249
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 250
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 251
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 252
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 253
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 254
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 255
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 256
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 257
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 258
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 259
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 260
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 261
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 262
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 263
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 264
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 265
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 266
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 267
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 268
Frank Zappa - In France
- 269
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 270
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 271
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 272
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 273
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 274
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 275
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 276
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 277
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 278
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 279
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 280
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 281
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 282
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 283
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 284
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 285
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 286
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 287
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 288
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 289
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 290
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 291
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 292
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 293
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 294
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 295
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 296
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 297
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 298
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 299
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 300
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
The Poodle Lecture
Frank Zappa
In the beginning god made 'the light.' shortly thereafter god made three big
Mistakes. the first mistake was called man, the second mistake was called
Wo-man, and the third mistake was the invention of the poodle. now the reason
The poodle was such a big mistake is because god originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
Attractive dog. the poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
Piquant canine type body. that's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
Regular looking dog. you know it's true, i guess you do too. (oh, i have to
Kiss you? oh okay.)
Anyway listen, check this out. the poodle used to look good, you know the
Regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
Didn't think anything of it. you know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
Olden days. but the wo-man, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
Man.
Guy in the audience:
You're the best!
Fz:
That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. now you're interrupting my
Story, now listen . . . what is that? is that the tower of power or what? oh no
No, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. now listen:
The wo-man has always been much smarter than the man, you know this is true.
And so it was since the beginning of time. the man would do anything to get
Some pussy. and that's why the wo-man always had control over him.
In the beginning the wo-man looked the man directly into the eye and said: "i
Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because i could use a few nice things
Around the house. mainly what i need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
Zircon encrusted tweezers." (thank you very much.)
And of course the man did his duty as they say in the trade. he went out and he
Got a goddamn job. went out and pushed that broom around for about a
Dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of eden and gave that
Money to the wo-man.
The wo-man ran out the back door of the garden of eden, went directly to the
Hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
Tweezers and came back and, while the man was very tired from having his job,
While he was sleeping, the wo-man got a hold of the poodle. because the wo-man
Had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
Much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. it
Didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.
And so the wo-man sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. let me get a little
Uh, visual aid . . .
Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. you see, she took a
Little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
Mouth set up like that. and squatted right on him. looking down into the dog's
Eyes. she looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
Dog? she said:
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