- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 3
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 4
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 5
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 6
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 7
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 8
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 9
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 10
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 11
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 12
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 13
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 14
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 15
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 16
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 17
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 18
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 19
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 20
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 21
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 22
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 23
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 24
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 25
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 26
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 27
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 28
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 29
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 30
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 31
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 32
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 33
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 34
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 35
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 36
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 37
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 38
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 39
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 40
Frank Zappa - In France
- 41
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 42
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 43
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 44
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 45
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 46
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 47
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 48
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 49
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 50
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 51
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 52
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 53
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 54
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 55
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 56
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 57
Frank Zappa - Planet Of My Dreams
- 58
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 59
Frank Zappa - Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- 60
Frank Zappa - The Little House I Used To Live
- 61
Frank Zappa - What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?
- 62
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 63
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 64
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 65
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 66
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 67
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 68
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 69
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 70
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 71
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 72
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 73
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 74
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 75
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 76
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 77
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 78
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 79
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 80
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 81
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 82
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 83
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 84
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 85
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 86
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 87
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 88
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 89
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 90
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 91
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 92
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 93
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 94
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 95
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 96
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 97
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 98
Frank Zappa - Our Bizarre Relationship
- 99
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 100
Frank Zappa - Penis Dimension
- 101
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylyte
- 102
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 103
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- 104
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 105
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 106
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 107
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 108
Frank Zappa - Sleeping In A Jar
- 109
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 110
Frank Zappa - Soft-sell Conclusion
- 111
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 112
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 113
Frank Zappa - Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
- 114
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 115
Frank Zappa - That Evil Prince
- 116
Frank Zappa - The Closer You Are
- 117
Frank Zappa - The Girls Dream
- 118
Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine
- 119
Frank Zappa - Titties 'N' Beer
- 120
Frank Zappa - Truck Driver Divorce
- 121
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 122
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Bolero
- 123
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 124
Frank Zappa - What Kind Of Girl?
- 125
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 126
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- 127
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Wino
- 128
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 129
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 130
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 131
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 132
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 133
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 134
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 135
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 136
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 137
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 138
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 139
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 140
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 141
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 142
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 143
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 144
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 145
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 146
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 147
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 148
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 149
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 150
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 151
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 152
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 153
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 154
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 155
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 156
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 157
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 158
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 159
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 160
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 161
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 162
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 163
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 164
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 165
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 166
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 167
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 168
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 169
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 170
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 171
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 172
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 173
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 174
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 175
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 176
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 177
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 178
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 179
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 180
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 182
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 183
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 184
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 185
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 186
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 188
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 189
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 190
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 191
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 192
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 193
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 194
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 195
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 196
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 198
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 199
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 200
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 202
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 203
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 204
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 205
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 206
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 209
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 210
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 211
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 212
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 213
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 214
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 215
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 216
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 217
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 218
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 219
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 220
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 221
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 222
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 223
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 224
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 225
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 226
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 227
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 228
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 229
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 230
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 231
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 232
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 233
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 234
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 235
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 236
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 237
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 238
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 239
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 240
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 241
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 242
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 243
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 244
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 245
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 246
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 247
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 248
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 249
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 250
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 252
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 253
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 254
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 255
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 256
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 257
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 258
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 259
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 260
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 261
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 262
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 263
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 264
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 265
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 266
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 267
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 268
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 269
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 270
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 271
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 272
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 273
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 274
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 275
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 276
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 277
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 278
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 279
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 280
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 281
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 282
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 283
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 284
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 285
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 286
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 287
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 288
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 289
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 291
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 293
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 295
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 296
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 297
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 298
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 299
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 300
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
Billy The Mountain
Frank Zappa
Billy the mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and gorman
With his stunning wife ethel
A tree, a tree.
Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Billy was a mountain
Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
( hey, hey, hey! )
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up or down
And whenever it did
He'd puff out some dust
And hack up a boulder, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder.
Now, one day, and i believe it was on tuesday, a man in checkered double-knit suit drove up in large el dorado cadillac leased from bob spreene ( "where the freeways meet in downey!" ) and he laid a huge bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain, that was right where his foot was supposed to be. now billy the mountain, he couldn't believe it: all those postcards he'd posed for, for all of those years, and finally, now at last, his royalties! "royalties, royalties, royalties! the royalty check is in, honey!" ... yes, billy the mountain was rich! yes, and his eyeball caves, they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which was a cliff, well it ... it dropped thirty feet! a bunch of dust puffed out ... rocks and boulders hacked up, hack! hack! ... crushing the lincoln ...
I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hacked up a rock and
It totaled my car
Oh do you
Know any trucks
Might be bound for the valley
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
( dear lord )
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
( no shit )
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
By two o'clock, when bars had already closed down, billy had broken the big news to ethel, ahhhh, and with dust and boulders everywhere, billy, choked with exitement, announced: "ethel, we're going on a vacation!"... yes, and they were going on a vacation, oh, and ethel, ethel, ethel, like any little woman, she of course was very excited ... she creaked a little bit, and some old birds flew off of her. billy told ethel they were going to... yes, they where going to new york! "ethel, we're going to... new york! but first they were gonna stop in las vegas...
"it's off to las vegas to check out the lounges,
Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh ethel,
Ethel, my darling, you know that i love you,
I'm glad we could have a vacation this year,
Oh neat-o, glad we could have a vacation this year."
They left that night, crunchin' across the mojave desert, their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds... "ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? howard johnson's, ahhh there's a howard johnson's! ... wanna eat some clams? ...
The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was edwards air force base. and to this very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks alike speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got lunched, i said lunched, by a famous mountain and his small wooden wife ...
"word just in to the kttv news service undeniably links this mountain and his wife to drug abuse and payoffs as part of san joaquin valley smut ring. however, we can assure parents in the southern california area that a recent narcotic crackdown in torrence ... hawthorne ... lomita ... westchester ... playa del rey ... santa monica ... tujunga ... sunland ... san fernando ... pacoima ... sylmar ... newhall ... canoga park ... palmdale ... glendale ... irwindale ... rolling hills ... granada hills ... shadow hills ... cheviot hills ... will provide the secret evidence the palmdale grand jury has needed to seek a criminal indictement and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inland empire ..."
Within the week, jerry lewis had hosted a telethon ( la la la nice lady ) to raise funds for the injured, "injured", and homeless, "homeless" in glendale, as billy had just levelled it. and a few miles right outside of town billy caused a 'oh mine/my(?) papa' in the earth's crust, right over the secret underground dumps, right near the jack in the box on glenoaks where they keep the pools of old poison gas and obsolete germs bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through ... yes, it was about three o'clock in the afternoon when little howard kaplan was sitting on his porch ( "toto...!") just playing ( "come here, toto ...!") and having a nice time with his little accordion, ("toto...!") and this weird wind came up, direct from glendale, blowing those terrible germs in his direction ... and all this caused by huge mountain ("aunty em") somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly, sucking up two-thirds of it ( suck, suck, suck) for an ultimetly dispersal over vast stretches of ... watts!!!
Now, unless i misunderstood, it was right outside of columbus, ohio when billy received his notice to report for his induction physical. now lemme tell ya, ethel said, now ethel, ethel said she wasn't gonna let him go ... "i'm not gonna let you go, billy" ... that's right, we now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister that ethel is still an active communist and it is this reporter's opinion that she also practices covent witch-craft ...
It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret briefcase belonging to one mortal man who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save america herself. and i'm sorry to disappoint some of you, it was not chief redden. this one man was studebacher hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump. now, some folks say he looked like zubin mehta (zubin mehta); still others say "bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy guy who happened to be born next to the frozen beef pies at boney's market..."; still others say "pshaw/shaun(?), and piss on you, jack, he's just a crazy iatlian who drove a red car ..." you see, nobody ever really knew for sure because studebacher was sooooo mysterious ....
He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious
He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious
'cuz when a person gets to be such a hero, folks
And marvelouse beyond compute
You can never really tell about a guy like that
Whether he's really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot
Or if he has a son named pinocchio or what.
Whether he's really a nice person
Or if he has a son named pinocchio or what.
Some men say he could fly
Some men say he could swim
Others say he could sing like neil sedaka,
And all the girls in flushing would be amazed of him
Two, three amazed of him ... amazed ...
Time passed. january, february, march, july, wednesdey, august, irwindale, two-thirty in the afternoon, sunday, monday, funny cars, walnuts, city of industry, big john masamanian ... so when the phone ring in the secret briefcase, a strong masculine hand with a dudley do-right wristwatch and flexy braclet grabbed it and answered in a deep, calmly assured voice: "so... ah... yeah, yeah hello already ... what? ... well, yeah? ... ah-are you kidding? ... you're not kidding ... a mountain ... with a tree growing off of its shoulder? aw, you're fulla shit, man... ah listen, by the way, before you go on; did you get those white albums i sent ya with the pencil on the front, yeah? yeah, you should move some of those for me ... we're having a lot of,...listen, so kiss little jakee on the head... and how's your wife's hemorrhoids?...ah, that's too bad...listen...so you've got a mountain, with a tree, listen, causing...well, let me write this down... sorta take a few notes here...yeah? ...to el segundo, huh?...causing
Untold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted for draft evasion?... an expense account? ... and per diem, too?..."
Some men say he could dance
They said he could dance
And of course they were right ...
Ladies and gentelmen, this is it: the studebacher hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidence, featuring aynsley dunbar! ... hit it! ...
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, fillmore ...
Hey, right hand from a heart
Left hand from a heart
Right hand from a heart
Left hand from a left shoulder
To the heart. fillmore, fillmore ...
Nobody can dance like studebacher hoch ...
So many rumors have spread about studebacher hoch ... consider this rumor which was published about three weeks ago in rolling stone ( oh, it's gotta be true! ) ... studebacher hoch can write the lord's prayer on the head of a pin!" (no!) do-do-do do-do-doot doot do-do-do ... ... i'm so hip ... beef pies ... he was born next to the beef pies, underneath joni mitchell's autographed picture, right beside elliot robert's big bank book, next to the boat where crosby flushed away all his stash and the cops got him in the boat and drove away, to the can where neil young slipped another disc ...
[ frozen ??? pie
Frozen ??? pie
Frozen ??? pie
And that was the main influence on him
The influence of a frozen beef pie ]
Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife who ran a modeling school, whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of the broadway at hollywood boulevard and vine to see if he could find himself some big, large, unused cardboard boxes ( no shit! )... after which he hit up the ralph's on sunset for some aunt jemima syrup, some kaiser boiler foil and pair of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes, and in the parking lot of ralph's ... where no prices are lower prices than ralph's... in the parking lot of ralph's, in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking, he cut out some really, really, really nice wings and he covered them thoroughly with foil ...
Then he took those wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth ..yes,yes!! and then he shut the fucking door! ... and he pulled down his blue denim policeman-type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of aunt jemima maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! ... soon the booth was filling with flies ( help me! help me! help me! ) ... he held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those little cocksucking flies had gone into his pants and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, ron-hubbard-type voice: "new york"... and the booth and everything lifted up, out of parking lot, and into the sky.
Studebacher hoch
Yeah, yeah,
Studebacher hoch
Studebacher hoch
Studebacher hoch
Yeah, yeah,
Studebacher hoch
Studebacher hoch
He's coating his legs
With aunt jemima syrup up and down
His shorts will be filled with flies
That will be buzzing all around
Studebacher hoch is really outa sight
Studebacher hoch, he does it every night
Studebacher hoch, he treats the flies all right
Studebacher hoch
That's why they never bite, hey!
Hey please to new york
Fly to new york
He could be a dog
Or a frog
Or a lesbian queen
(fly to new york)
He could be a narc
Or a lady marine
Or he might play dirty
He's over thirty
Getting old ...
I don't know
His peculiar attire
And the flies he requires
Keep leading him on
'cuz ethel is gone
They keep leading him on
'cuz ethel is gone
And the mountain she's on
And speaking of mountains - - we'll join studebacher hoch on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth .. take it away! ...
"ah ... ya, ya, ya, hey-ah, billy, listen ... i've come to reason with you ... our great country needs you in the armed forces ... your number came up ... ya can't go on running like this forever ..."
Ah, but ethel just shook her twigs angrily. but studebacher hoch, calm, cool, collected and unperturbed, continued:
"ya, well listen ... listen you communist sonofabitch ... you better get your ass down there for your fuckin' physical or i'll see to it that you get used for fill dirt in some impending new jersey marsh reclamation ... and your girlfiend there will wind up disguised as series of brooms, primative ironing boards or a dog house ... get the ( cough, cough) get the picture?"
Ya, well billy just laughed:
"ha, ha, ha. if they think they're gonna draft me, they're crazy."
Unfortunately, because studebacher hoch was standing on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth when the giant mountain laughed ... studebacher hoch lost his footing and fell screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below ... ( "aaahhhhh, oh fuck, i'm gonna need a truss ...")
Ah listen, that only goes to show you
And it'l show you once again that
A mountain is something you don't wanna fuck with
You don't wanna fuck with
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck with billy, no
And don't fuck with ethel
You saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
Don't fuck around
With biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly the mountain
Eddie, are you kidding?
Eddie, are you kidding?
Oh i forgot to mention this is where we take our intermission.
We will see you in a few minutes
Thank you, we'll be back.