- 1
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 3
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 4
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 5
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 6
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 7
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 8
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 9
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 10
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 11
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 12
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 13
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 14
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 15
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 16
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 17
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 18
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 19
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 20
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 21
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 22
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 23
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 24
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 25
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 26
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 27
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 28
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 29
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 30
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 31
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 32
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 33
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 34
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 35
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 36
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 37
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 38
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 39
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 40
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 41
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 42
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 43
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 44
Frank Zappa - Rat Tomago
- 45
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 46
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 47
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 48
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 49
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 50
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 51
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 52
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 53
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 54
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 55
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 56
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 57
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 58
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 59
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 60
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 61
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 62
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 63
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 64
Frank Zappa - Planet Of The Baritone Women
- 65
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 66
Frank Zappa - Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
- 67
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 68
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 69
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 70
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 71
Frank Zappa - Stevie's Spanking
- 72
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 73
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 74
Frank Zappa - Would You Like A Snack?
- 75
Frank Zappa - Wowie Zowie
- 76
Frank Zappa - You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here
- 77
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 78
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 79
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 80
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 81
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 82
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 83
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 84
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 85
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 86
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 87
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 88
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 89
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 90
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 91
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 92
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 93
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 94
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 95
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 96
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 97
Frank Zappa - In France
- 98
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 99
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 100
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 101
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 102
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 103
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 104
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 105
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 106
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club
- 107
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 108
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 109
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 110
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 111
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 112
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 113
Frank Zappa - Promiscuous
- 114
Frank Zappa - Rubber Shirt
- 115
Frank Zappa - Son Of Suzy Creamcheese
- 116
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 117
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 118
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 119
Frank Zappa - The Black Page
- 120
Frank Zappa - The Closer You Are
- 121
Frank Zappa - The Idiot Bastard Son
- 122
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 123
Frank Zappa - The Mammy Nuns
- 124
Frank Zappa - The Radio Is Broken
- 125
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 126
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 127
Frank Zappa - Tink Walks Amok
- 128
Frank Zappa - Tinseltown Rebellion
- 129
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 130
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 131
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 132
Frank Zappa - What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- 133
Frank Zappa - When The Lie's So Big
- 134
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post
- 135
Frank Zappa - Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- 136
Frank Zappa - Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?
- 137
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 138
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 139
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 140
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 141
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 142
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 143
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 144
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 145
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 146
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 147
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 148
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 149
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 150
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 151
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 152
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 153
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 154
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 155
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 156
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 157
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 158
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 159
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 160
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 161
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 162
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 163
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 164
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 165
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 166
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 167
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 168
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 169
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 170
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 171
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 172
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 173
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 174
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 175
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 176
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 177
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 178
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 179
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 180
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 181
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 182
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 183
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 184
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 185
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 186
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 188
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 189
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 190
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 191
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 192
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 193
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 194
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 195
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 196
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 197
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 198
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 199
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 200
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 201
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 202
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 203
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 204
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 205
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 206
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 207
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 208
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 209
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 210
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 211
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 212
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 213
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 214
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 215
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 216
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 217
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 218
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 219
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 220
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 221
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 222
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 223
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 224
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 225
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 226
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 227
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 228
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 229
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 230
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 231
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 232
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 233
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 234
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 235
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 236
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 237
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 238
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 239
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 240
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 241
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 242
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 243
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 244
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 245
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 246
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 247
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 248
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 249
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 250
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 251
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 252
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 253
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 254
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 255
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 256
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 257
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 258
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 259
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 260
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 261
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 262
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 263
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 264
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 265
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 266
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 267
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 268
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 269
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 270
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 271
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 272
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 273
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 274
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 275
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 276
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 277
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 278
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 279
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 280
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 281
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 282
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 283
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 284
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 285
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 286
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 287
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 288
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 289
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 290
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 291
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 292
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 293
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 295
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 296
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 297
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 298
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 299
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 300
Frank Zappa - Love Story
Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
Frank Zappa
SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O's road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie...
IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin'
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they're ready to party
"Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They're gonna get wet
'N' the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get 'em upset
'N' they all think they are Reety-awright
'N' they're ready to boogie
'Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on'em
Their ninnies get rigid
'N' look pretty bold
It's a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it's cold
'N'all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin' off tonite
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!
At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed
his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE...
BUDDY JONES:
Ah, thanks, IKE...
Yes, it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
Here at The Brasserie... Home of THE TITS... huh huh...
And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals...
Hi,Mary...howya doin?
Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills...
confounded by his sport coat, she replies...
MARY: Hi!
Realizing that she no longer recognizes him... or even appreciates
the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES,
like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various
stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby
giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy
more exciting beverages. . . liquid products that will expand their
consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance
of Miami By Night...
BUDDY JONES:
Where ya from?
MARY:
Ah, the bus...
BUDDY JONES:
Which one?
MARY:
You know...the last tour...
You know...
Leather
BUDDY JONES:
Oh.. .you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III...
why don't you get in position now and take a deep breath, because
this water is very, very cold, but it's goin' to be so stimulating. And
Mary's the kind of Red-Blooded American Girl who'll do anything...
MARY:
Anything...
BUDDY JONES:
I said anything... for fifty bucks
That's right!
MARY:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!
BUDDY JONES:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed... that's right,you
heard right... our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with
the most exciting mammalian protruberances...
MARY: Here I am!
BUDDY JONES: ...
as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male
person's conservative kind of middle-of-the-road COTTON UNDER-GARMENT!
Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!
MARY:
EEEK!
BUDDY JONES:
No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you ...sounds like you just got an
ice pick in the forehead... AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD...
a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess...she's totally soaked..
totally committed to the fifty bucks.. .That's it just step into the spotlight.. let the guys
get a good look at ya honey!
MARY:
Here I am!
BUDDY JONES:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how's about shakin' it around a little...
BUDDY JONES:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
MARY:
Oooh! I'm dancing!
I'm dancing!
BUDDY JONES:
Ain't this what living is really all about!
Here's your fifty bucks, Mary...
MARY:
Oh great! Now I can go home!
BUDDY JONES:
Home is where the heart is.
MARY:
On the bus.
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