- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 3
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 4
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 5
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 6
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 7
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 8
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 9
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 10
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 11
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 12
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 13
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 14
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 15
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 16
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 17
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 18
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 19
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 20
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 21
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 22
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 23
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 24
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 25
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 26
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 27
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 28
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 29
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 30
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 31
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 32
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 33
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 34
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 35
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 36
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 37
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 38
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 39
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 40
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 41
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 42
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 43
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 44
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 45
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 46
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 47
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 48
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 49
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 50
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 51
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 52
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 53
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 54
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 55
Frank Zappa - Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
- 56
Frank Zappa - Tell Me You Love Me
- 57
Frank Zappa - The Idiot Bastard Son
- 58
Frank Zappa - Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- 59
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- 60
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 61
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 62
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 63
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 64
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 65
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 66
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 67
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 68
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 69
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 70
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 71
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 72
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 73
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 74
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 75
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 76
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 77
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 78
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 79
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 80
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 81
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 82
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 83
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 84
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 85
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 86
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 87
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 88
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 89
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 90
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 91
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 92
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 93
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 94
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 95
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 96
Frank Zappa - More Trouble Every Day
- 97
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 98
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 99
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 100
Frank Zappa - Our Bizarre Relationship
- 101
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 102
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 103
Frank Zappa - Panty Rap
- 104
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 105
Frank Zappa - Penis Dimension
- 106
Frank Zappa - Promiscuous
- 107
Frank Zappa - Rat Tomago
- 108
Frank Zappa - Rubber Shirt
- 109
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 110
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 111
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 112
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 113
Frank Zappa - Status Back Baby
- 114
Frank Zappa - Stevie's Spanking
- 115
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 116
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump
- 117
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 118
Frank Zappa - The Air
- 119
Frank Zappa - The Beatles Medley
- 120
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 121
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 122
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 123
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 124
Frank Zappa - Tinseltown Rebellion
- 125
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 126
Frank Zappa - We Are Not Alone
- 127
Frank Zappa - What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- 128
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 129
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Wino
- 130
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 131
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 132
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 133
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 134
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 135
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 136
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 137
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 138
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 139
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 140
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 141
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 142
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 143
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 144
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 145
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 146
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 147
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 148
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 149
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 150
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 151
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 152
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 153
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 154
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 155
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 156
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 157
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 158
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 159
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 160
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 161
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 162
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 163
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 164
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 165
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 166
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 167
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 168
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 169
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 170
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 171
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 172
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 173
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 174
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 175
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 176
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 177
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 178
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 179
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 180
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 182
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 183
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 184
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 185
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 186
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 187
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 188
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 189
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 190
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 191
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 192
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 193
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 194
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 195
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 196
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 198
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 199
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 200
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 202
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 203
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 204
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 205
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 206
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 208
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 209
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 210
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 211
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 212
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 213
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 214
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 215
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 216
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 217
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 218
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 219
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 220
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 221
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 222
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 223
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 224
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 225
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 226
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 227
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 228
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 229
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 230
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 231
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 232
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 233
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 234
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 235
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 236
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 237
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 238
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 239
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 240
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 241
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 242
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 243
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 244
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 245
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 246
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 247
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 248
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 249
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 250
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 252
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 253
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 254
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 255
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 256
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 257
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 258
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 259
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 260
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 261
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 262
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 263
Frank Zappa - In France
- 264
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 265
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 266
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 267
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 268
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 269
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 270
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 271
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 272
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 273
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 274
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 275
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 276
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 277
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 278
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 279
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 280
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 281
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 282
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 283
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 284
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 285
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 286
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 287
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 288
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 289
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 291
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 293
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 295
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 296
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 297
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 298
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 299
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 300
Frank Zappa - Massagio Galore
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!
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