- 1
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 2
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 3
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 4
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 5
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 6
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 7
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 8
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 9
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 10
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 11
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 12
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 13
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 14
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 15
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 16
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 17
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 18
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 19
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 20
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 21
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 22
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 23
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 24
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 25
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 26
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 27
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 28
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 29
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 30
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 31
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 32
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 33
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 34
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 35
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 36
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 37
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 38
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 39
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 40
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 41
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 42
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 43
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 44
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 45
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 46
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 47
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 48
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 49
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 50
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 51
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 52
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 53
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 54
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 55
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 56
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 57
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 58
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 59
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 60
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 61
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 62
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 63
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 64
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 65
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 66
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 67
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 68
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 69
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 70
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 71
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 72
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 73
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 74
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 75
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 76
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 77
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 78
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 79
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 80
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 81
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 82
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 83
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 84
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 85
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 86
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 87
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 88
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 89
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 90
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 91
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 92
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 93
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 94
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 95
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 96
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 97
Frank Zappa - Ms. Pinky
- 98
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 99
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 100
Frank Zappa - Once Upon A Time
- 101
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 102
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 103
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 104
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 105
Frank Zappa - Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
- 106
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 107
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 108
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- 109
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 110
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 111
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 112
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 113
Frank Zappa - Sleeping In A Jar
- 114
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 115
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 116
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 117
Frank Zappa - Status Back Baby
- 118
Frank Zappa - Stick Together
- 119
Frank Zappa - Stinkfoot
- 120
Frank Zappa - Strictly Genteel (The Finale)
- 121
Frank Zappa - Tell Me You Love Me
- 122
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 123
Frank Zappa - The Dangerous Kitchen
- 124
Frank Zappa - The Duke Regains His Chops
- 125
Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine
- 126
Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit
- 127
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 128
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 129
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 130
Frank Zappa - Village Of The Sun
- 131
Frank Zappa - We Are Not Alone
- 132
Frank Zappa - Wet T-Shirt Nite
- 133
Frank Zappa - What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?
- 134
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post
- 135
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Wino
- 136
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 137
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 138
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 139
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 140
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 141
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 142
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 143
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 144
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 145
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 146
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 147
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 148
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 149
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 150
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 151
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 152
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 153
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 154
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 155
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 156
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 157
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 158
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 159
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 160
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 161
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 162
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 163
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 164
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 165
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 166
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 167
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 168
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 169
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 170
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 171
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 172
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 173
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 174
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 175
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 176
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 177
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 178
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 179
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 180
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 181
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 182
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 183
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 184
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 185
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 186
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 188
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 189
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 190
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 191
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 192
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 193
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 194
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 195
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 196
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 197
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 198
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 199
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 200
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 202
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 203
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 204
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 205
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 206
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 209
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 210
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 211
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 212
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 213
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 214
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 215
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 216
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 217
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 218
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 219
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 220
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 221
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 222
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 223
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 224
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 225
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 226
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 227
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 228
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 229
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 230
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 231
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 232
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 233
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 234
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 235
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 236
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 237
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 238
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 239
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 240
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 241
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 242
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 243
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 244
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 245
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 246
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 247
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 248
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 249
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 250
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 251
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 252
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 253
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 254
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 255
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 256
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 257
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 258
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 259
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 260
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 261
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 262
Frank Zappa - In France
- 263
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 264
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 265
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 266
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 267
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 268
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 269
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 270
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 271
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 272
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 273
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 274
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 275
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 276
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 277
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 278
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 279
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 280
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 281
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 282
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 283
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 284
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 285
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 286
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 287
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 288
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 289
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 290
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 291
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 292
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 293
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 295
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 296
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 297
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 298
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 299
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 300
Frank Zappa - Love Story
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!
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