- 1
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 2
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 3
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 4
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 5
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 6
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 7
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 8
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 9
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 10
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 11
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 12
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 13
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 14
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 15
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 16
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 17
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 18
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 19
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 20
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 21
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 22
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 23
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 24
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 25
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 26
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 27
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 28
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 29
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 30
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 31
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 32
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 33
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 34
Frank Zappa - Ms. Pinky
- 35
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 36
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 37
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 38
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 39
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 40
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 41
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 42
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 43
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 44
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 45
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 46
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 47
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 48
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 49
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 50
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 51
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 52
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 53
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 54
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 55
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 56
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 57
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 58
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 59
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 60
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 61
Frank Zappa - Why Don't You Like Me?
- 62
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 63
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 64
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 65
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 66
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 67
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 68
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 69
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 70
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 71
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 72
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 73
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 74
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 75
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 76
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 77
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 78
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 79
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 80
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 81
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 82
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 83
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 84
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 85
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 86
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 87
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 88
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 89
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 90
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 91
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 92
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 93
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 94
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 95
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 96
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club (in album Thing-Fish)
- 97
Frank Zappa - Mystery Roach
- 98
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 99
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 100
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylyte
- 101
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 102
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 103
Frank Zappa - Stevie's Spanking
- 104
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 105
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 106
Frank Zappa - The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- 107
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 108
Frank Zappa - The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth
- 109
Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine
- 110
Frank Zappa - The Orange County Lumber Truck
- 111
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 112
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 113
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 114
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Promenade
- 115
Frank Zappa - Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme)
- 116
Frank Zappa - What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning?
- 117
Frank Zappa - Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- 118
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- 119
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Wino
- 120
Frank Zappa - Ya Hozna
- 121
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 122
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 123
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 124
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 125
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 126
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 127
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 128
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 129
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 130
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 131
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 132
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 133
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 134
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 135
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 136
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 137
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 138
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 139
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 140
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 141
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 142
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 143
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 144
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 145
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 146
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 147
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 148
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 149
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 150
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 151
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 152
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 153
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 154
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 155
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 156
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 157
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 158
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 159
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 160
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 161
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 162
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 163
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 164
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 165
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 166
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 167
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 168
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 169
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 170
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 171
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 172
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 173
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 174
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 175
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 176
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 177
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 178
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 179
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 180
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 182
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 183
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 184
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 185
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 186
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 188
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 189
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 190
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 191
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 192
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 193
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 194
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 195
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 196
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 198
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 199
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 200
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 202
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 203
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 204
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 205
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 206
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 207
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 209
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 210
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 211
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 212
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 213
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 214
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 215
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 216
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 217
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 218
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 219
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 220
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 221
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 222
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 223
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 224
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 225
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 226
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 227
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 228
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 229
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 230
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 231
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 232
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 233
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 234
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 235
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 236
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 237
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 238
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 239
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 240
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 241
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 242
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 243
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 244
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 245
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 246
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 247
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 248
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 249
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 250
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 252
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 253
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 254
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 255
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 256
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 257
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 258
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 259
Frank Zappa - In France
- 260
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 261
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 262
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 263
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 264
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 265
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 266
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 267
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 268
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 269
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 270
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 271
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 272
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 273
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 274
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 275
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 276
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 277
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 278
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 279
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 280
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 281
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 282
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 283
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 284
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 285
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 286
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 287
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 288
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 289
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 291
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 293
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 294
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 295
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 296
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 297
Frank Zappa - Massagio Galore
- 298
Frank Zappa - Master Ringo
- 299
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 300
Frank Zappa - Moggio
Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
Frank Zappa
SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O's road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie...
IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin'
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they're ready to party
"Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They're gonna get wet
'N' the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get 'em upset
'N' they all think they are Reety-awright
'N' they're ready to boogie
'Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on'em
Their ninnies get rigid
'N' look pretty bold
It's a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it's cold
'N'all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin' off tonite
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!
At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed
his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE...
BUDDY JONES:
Ah, thanks, IKE...
Yes, it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
Here at The Brasserie... Home of THE TITS... huh huh...
And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals...
Hi,Mary...howya doin?
Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills...
confounded by his sport coat, she replies...
MARY: Hi!
Realizing that she no longer recognizes him... or even appreciates
the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES,
like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various
stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby
giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy
more exciting beverages. . . liquid products that will expand their
consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance
of Miami By Night...
BUDDY JONES:
Where ya from?
MARY:
Ah, the bus...
BUDDY JONES:
Which one?
MARY:
You know...the last tour...
You know...
Leather
BUDDY JONES:
Oh.. .you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III...
why don't you get in position now and take a deep breath, because
this water is very, very cold, but it's goin' to be so stimulating. And
Mary's the kind of Red-Blooded American Girl who'll do anything...
MARY:
Anything...
BUDDY JONES:
I said anything... for fifty bucks
That's right!
MARY:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!
BUDDY JONES:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed... that's right,you
heard right... our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with
the most exciting mammalian protruberances...
MARY: Here I am!
BUDDY JONES: ...
as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male
person's conservative kind of middle-of-the-road COTTON UNDER-GARMENT!
Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!
MARY:
EEEK!
BUDDY JONES:
No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you ...sounds like you just got an
ice pick in the forehead... AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD...
a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess...she's totally soaked..
totally committed to the fifty bucks.. .That's it just step into the spotlight.. let the guys
get a good look at ya honey!
MARY:
Here I am!
BUDDY JONES:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how's about shakin' it around a little...
BUDDY JONES:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
MARY:
Oooh! I'm dancing!
I'm dancing!
BUDDY JONES:
Ain't this what living is really all about!
Here's your fifty bucks, Mary...
MARY:
Oh great! Now I can go home!
BUDDY JONES:
Home is where the heart is.
MARY:
On the bus.