- 1
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 2
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 3
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 4
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 5
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 6
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 7
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 8
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 9
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 10
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 11
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 12
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 13
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 14
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 15
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 16
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 17
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 18
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 19
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 20
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 21
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 22
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 23
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 24
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 25
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 26
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 27
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 28
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 29
Frank Zappa - Ms. Pinky
- 30
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 31
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 32
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 33
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 34
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 35
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 36
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 37
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 38
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 39
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 40
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 41
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 42
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 43
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 44
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 45
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 46
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 47
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 48
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 49
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 50
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 51
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 52
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 53
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 54
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 55
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 56
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 57
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 58
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 59
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 60
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 61
Frank Zappa - Why Don't You Like Me?
- 62
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 63
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 64
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 65
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 66
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 67
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 68
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 69
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 70
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 71
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 72
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 73
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 74
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 75
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 76
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 77
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 78
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 79
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 80
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 81
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 82
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 83
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 84
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 85
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 86
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 87
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 88
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 89
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 90
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 91
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 92
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 93
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 94
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 95
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 96
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 97
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 98
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 99
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club (in album Thing-Fish)
- 100
Frank Zappa - Mystery Roach
- 101
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 102
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylyte
- 103
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 104
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 105
Frank Zappa - Spider Of Destiny
- 106
Frank Zappa - Stevie's Spanking
- 107
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 108
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 109
Frank Zappa - The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- 110
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 111
Frank Zappa - The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth
- 112
Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine
- 113
Frank Zappa - The Orange County Lumber Truck
- 114
Frank Zappa - The Poodle Lecture
- 115
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 116
Frank Zappa - The Untouchables
- 117
Frank Zappa - The Voice Of Cheese
- 118
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 119
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Promenade
- 120
Frank Zappa - Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme)
- 121
Frank Zappa - What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning?
- 122
Frank Zappa - Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- 123
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- 124
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Wino
- 125
Frank Zappa - Ya Hozna
- 126
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 127
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 128
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 129
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 130
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 131
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 132
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 133
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 134
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 135
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 136
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 137
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 138
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 139
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 140
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 141
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 142
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 143
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 144
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 145
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 146
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 147
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 148
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 149
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 150
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 151
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 152
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 153
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 154
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 155
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 156
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 157
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 158
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 159
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 160
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 161
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 162
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 163
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 164
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 165
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 166
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 167
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 168
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 169
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 170
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 171
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 172
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 173
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 174
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 175
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 176
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 177
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 178
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 179
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 180
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 182
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 183
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 184
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 185
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 186
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 187
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 188
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 189
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 190
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 191
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 192
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 193
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 194
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 195
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 196
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 198
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 199
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 200
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 202
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 203
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 204
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 205
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 206
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 209
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 210
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 211
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 212
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 213
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 214
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 215
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 216
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 217
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 218
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 219
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 220
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 221
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 222
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 223
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 224
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 225
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 226
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 227
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 228
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 229
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 230
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 231
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 232
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 233
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 234
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 235
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 236
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 237
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 238
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 239
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 240
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 241
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 242
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 243
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 244
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 245
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 246
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 247
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 248
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 249
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 250
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 252
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 253
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 254
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 255
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 256
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 257
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 258
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 259
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 260
Frank Zappa - In France
- 261
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 262
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 263
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 264
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 265
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 266
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 267
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 268
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 269
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 270
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 271
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 272
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 273
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 274
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 275
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 276
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 277
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 278
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 279
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 280
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 281
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 282
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 283
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 284
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 285
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 286
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 287
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 288
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 289
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 291
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 293
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 295
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 296
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 297
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 298
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 299
Frank Zappa - Massagio Galore
- 300
Frank Zappa - Master Ringo
Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
Frank Zappa
SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O's road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie...
IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin'
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they're ready to party
"Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They're gonna get wet
'N' the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get 'em upset
'N' they all think they are Reety-awright
'N' they're ready to boogie
'Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on'em
Their ninnies get rigid
'N' look pretty bold
It's a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it's cold
'N'all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin' off tonite
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!
At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed
his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE...
BUDDY JONES:
Ah, thanks, IKE...
Yes, it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
Here at The Brasserie... Home of THE TITS... huh huh...
And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals...
Hi,Mary...howya doin?
Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills...
confounded by his sport coat, she replies...
MARY: Hi!
Realizing that she no longer recognizes him... or even appreciates
the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES,
like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various
stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby
giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy
more exciting beverages. . . liquid products that will expand their
consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance
of Miami By Night...
BUDDY JONES:
Where ya from?
MARY:
Ah, the bus...
BUDDY JONES:
Which one?
MARY:
You know...the last tour...
You know...
Leather
BUDDY JONES:
Oh.. .you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III...
why don't you get in position now and take a deep breath, because
this water is very, very cold, but it's goin' to be so stimulating. And
Mary's the kind of Red-Blooded American Girl who'll do anything...
MARY:
Anything...
BUDDY JONES:
I said anything... for fifty bucks
That's right!
MARY:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!
BUDDY JONES:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed... that's right,you
heard right... our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with
the most exciting mammalian protruberances...
MARY: Here I am!
BUDDY JONES: ...
as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male
person's conservative kind of middle-of-the-road COTTON UNDER-GARMENT!
Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!
MARY:
EEEK!
BUDDY JONES:
No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you ...sounds like you just got an
ice pick in the forehead... AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD...
a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess...she's totally soaked..
totally committed to the fifty bucks.. .That's it just step into the spotlight.. let the guys
get a good look at ya honey!
MARY:
Here I am!
BUDDY JONES:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how's about shakin' it around a little...
BUDDY JONES:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
MARY:
Oooh! I'm dancing!
I'm dancing!
BUDDY JONES:
Ain't this what living is really all about!
Here's your fifty bucks, Mary...
MARY:
Oh great! Now I can go home!
BUDDY JONES:
Home is where the heart is.
MARY:
On the bus.
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