- 1
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 2
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 3
Frank Zappa - Penis Dimension
- 4
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 5
Frank Zappa - Prologue
- 6
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 7
Frank Zappa - No No No
- 8
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 9
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 10
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 11
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 12
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 13
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 14
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 15
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 16
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- 17
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 18
Frank Zappa - Our Bizarre Relationship
- 19
Frank Zappa - The Air
- 20
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 21
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 22
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 23
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 24
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 25
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 26
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 27
Frank Zappa - Sleeping In A Jar
- 28
Frank Zappa - The Central Scrutinizer
- 29
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 30
Frank Zappa - Ride My Face To Chicago
- 31
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 32
Frank Zappa - Stuff Up The Cracks
- 33
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 34
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 35
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 36
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 37
Frank Zappa - The Downtown Talent Scout
- 38
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 39
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 40
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 41
Frank Zappa - The Duke of Prunes
- 42
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 43
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 44
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 45
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 46
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 47
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 48
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 49
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 50
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 51
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 52
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 53
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 54
Frank Zappa - Mudd Club
- 55
Frank Zappa - Uncle Bernie's Farm
- 56
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 57
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 58
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 59
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 60
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 61
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 62
Frank Zappa - Ronnie's Booger Story
- 63
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 64
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 65
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 66
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 67
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 68
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 69
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 70
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 71
Frank Zappa - Mystery Roach
- 72
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 73
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 74
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 75
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 76
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 77
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 78
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 79
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 80
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 81
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 82
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 83
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 84
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 85
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 86
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 87
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 88
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 89
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 90
Frank Zappa - Oh-Umm
- 91
Frank Zappa - The Crab-Grass Baby
- 92
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 93
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 94
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 95
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 96
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Bolero
- 97
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 98
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 99
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 100
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 101
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 102
Frank Zappa - Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt
- 103
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 104
Frank Zappa - Spider Of Destiny
- 105
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 106
Frank Zappa - Would You Like A Snack?
- 107
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 108
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 109
Frank Zappa - Road Ladies
- 110
Frank Zappa - Soft-sell Conclusion
- 111
Frank Zappa - The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- 112
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 113
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 114
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 115
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 116
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 117
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 118
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 119
Frank Zappa - Tell Me You Love Me
- 120
Frank Zappa - The Finale
- 121
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 122
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 123
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 124
Frank Zappa - Nig Biz
- 125
Frank Zappa - Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
- 126
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 127
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 128
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 129
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 130
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 131
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 132
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 133
Frank Zappa - Sweet Leilani
- 134
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 135
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 136
Frank Zappa - Society Pages
- 137
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 138
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 139
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 140
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 141
Frank Zappa - Porn Wars
- 142
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 143
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 144
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 145
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 146
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 147
Frank Zappa - Planet Of My Dreams
- 148
Frank Zappa - Teenage Wind
- 149
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 150
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 151
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 152
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 153
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 154
Frank Zappa - Mr. Green Genes
- 155
Frank Zappa - The Dead Girls Of London
- 156
Frank Zappa - The Florida Airport Tape
- 157
Frank Zappa - The Idiot Bastard Son
- 158
Frank Zappa - No, No Cherry
- 159
Frank Zappa - The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth
- 160
Frank Zappa - Tuna Fish Promenade
- 161
Frank Zappa - What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- 162
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 163
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 164
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 165
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 166
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 167
Frank Zappa - What's New In Baltimore?
- 168
Frank Zappa - When The Lie's So Big
- 169
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 170
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 171
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 172
Frank Zappa - Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- 173
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 174
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 175
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 176
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 177
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 178
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 179
Frank Zappa - Murder By Numbers
- 180
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 181
Frank Zappa - The White Boy Troubles
- 182
Frank Zappa - This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)
- 183
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 184
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 185
Frank Zappa - Semi-Fraudulent/Direct-From-Hollywood Overture
- 186
Frank Zappa - The Blue Light
- 187
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 188
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 189
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 190
Frank Zappa - Montana (Whipping Floss)
- 191
Frank Zappa - Take Me Out To The Ball Game
- 192
Frank Zappa - Truck Driver Divorce
- 193
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 194
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 195
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Workin' In The Gas Station
- 196
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
- 197
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 198
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 199
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 200
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 201
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 202
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 203
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 204
Frank Zappa - On The Bus
- 205
Frank Zappa - Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke
- 206
Frank Zappa - Tears Began To Fall
- 207
Frank Zappa - The Orange County Lumber Truck
- 208
Frank Zappa - Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- 209
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 210
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 211
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 212
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 213
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 214
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 215
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 216
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 217
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 218
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 219
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 220
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 221
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 222
Frank Zappa - Mother People
- 223
Frank Zappa - No Not Now
- 224
Frank Zappa - Once Upon A Time
- 225
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 226
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 227
Frank Zappa - The Dangerous Kitchen
- 228
Frank Zappa - The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
- 229
Frank Zappa - The Untouchables
- 230
Frank Zappa - Tiny Sick Tears
- 231
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 232
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 233
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 234
Frank Zappa - Whippin' Post (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- 235
Frank Zappa - Wowie Zowie
- 236
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 237
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 238
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 239
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 240
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 241
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 242
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 243
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 244
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 245
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 246
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 247
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 248
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 249
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 250
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 251
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 252
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 253
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 254
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 255
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 256
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 257
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 258
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 259
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 260
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 261
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 262
Frank Zappa - Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
- 263
Frank Zappa - No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve
- 264
Frank Zappa - Oh No
- 265
Frank Zappa - Peaches III
- 266
Frank Zappa - Pick Me, I'm Clean
- 267
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 268
Frank Zappa - Pygmy Twylite
- 269
Frank Zappa - Ronnie Sings?
- 270
Frank Zappa - Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme
- 271
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Extreme
- 272
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 273
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 274
Frank Zappa - Smell My Beard
- 275
Frank Zappa - Son Of Suzy Creamcheese
- 276
Frank Zappa - St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 277
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 278
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump
- 279
Frank Zappa - Teen-Age Prostitute
- 280
Frank Zappa - Telephone Conversation
- 281
Frank Zappa - The Black Page
- 282
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 283
Frank Zappa - The Little March
- 284
Frank Zappa - The Massive Improve'lence
- 285
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 286
Frank Zappa - The Poodle Lecture
- 287
Frank Zappa - The Radio Is Broken
- 288
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 289
Frank Zappa - The Uncle Meat Variations
- 290
Frank Zappa - The Voice Of Cheese
- 291
Frank Zappa - This Town Is Just A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)
- 292
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 293
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 294
Frank Zappa - Very Distraughtening
- 295
Frank Zappa - We're Turning Again
- 296
Frank Zappa - Weasels Ripped My Flesh
- 297
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 298
Frank Zappa - Would You Go All The Way?
- 299
Frank Zappa - Ya Hozna
- 300
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!