- 1
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 2
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 3
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 4
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 5
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 6
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 7
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 8
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 9
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 10
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 11
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 12
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 13
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 14
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 15
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 16
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 17
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 18
Frank Zappa - Trouble Every Day
- 19
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 20
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 21
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 22
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 23
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 24
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 25
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 26
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 27
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 28
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 29
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 30
Frank Zappa - Man With The Woman Head
- 31
Frank Zappa - Motherly Love
- 32
Frank Zappa - Sofa #2
- 33
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 34
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 35
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 36
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 37
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 38
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 39
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 40
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 41
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 42
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 43
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 44
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 45
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 46
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 47
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 48
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 49
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 50
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 51
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 52
Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- 53
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 54
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 55
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 56
Frank Zappa - The Beatles Medley
- 57
Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit
- 58
Frank Zappa - The Little House I Used To Live
- 59
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 60
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 61
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 62
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 63
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 64
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 65
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 66
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 67
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 68
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 69
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 70
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 71
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 72
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 73
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 74
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 75
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 76
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 77
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 78
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 79
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 80
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 81
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 82
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 83
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 84
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 85
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 86
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 87
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 88
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 89
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 90
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 91
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 92
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 93
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 94
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 95
Frank Zappa - Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- 96
Frank Zappa - Murder By Numbers
- 97
Frank Zappa - Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
- 98
Frank Zappa - Porn Wars
- 99
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 100
Frank Zappa - Rat Tomago
- 101
Frank Zappa - Rubber Shirt
- 102
Frank Zappa - Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- 103
Frank Zappa - San Ber'dino
- 104
Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude
- 105
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 106
Frank Zappa - Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- 107
Frank Zappa - Stinkfoot
- 108
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump
- 109
Frank Zappa - The Black Page
- 110
Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- 111
Frank Zappa - The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- 112
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 113
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 114
Frank Zappa - The Voice Of Cheese
- 115
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 116
Frank Zappa - We Are Not Alone
- 117
Frank Zappa - Welcome To The United States
- 118
Frank Zappa - Wplj
- 119
Frank Zappa - You Didn't Try To Call Me
- 120
Frank Zappa - You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here
- 121
Frank Zappa - Your Mouth
- 122
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 123
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 124
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 125
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 126
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 127
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 128
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 129
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 130
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 131
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 132
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 133
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 134
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 135
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 136
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 137
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 138
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 139
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 140
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 141
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 142
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 143
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 144
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 145
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 146
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 147
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 148
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 149
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 150
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 151
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 152
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 153
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 154
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 155
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 156
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 157
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 158
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 159
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 160
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 161
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 162
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 163
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 164
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 165
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 166
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 167
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 168
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 169
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 170
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 171
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 172
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 173
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 174
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 175
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 176
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 177
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 178
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 179
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 180
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 181
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 182
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 183
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 184
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 185
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 186
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 187
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 188
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 189
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 190
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 191
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 192
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 193
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 194
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 195
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 196
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 197
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 198
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 199
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 200
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 201
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 202
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 203
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 204
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 205
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 206
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 207
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 208
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 209
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 210
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 211
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 212
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 213
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 214
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 215
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 216
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 217
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 218
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 219
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 220
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 221
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 222
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 223
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 224
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 225
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 226
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 227
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 228
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 229
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 230
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 231
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 232
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 233
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 234
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 235
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 236
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 237
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 238
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 239
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 240
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 241
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 242
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 243
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 244
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 245
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 246
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 247
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 248
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 249
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 250
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 251
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 252
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 253
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 254
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 255
Frank Zappa - In France
- 256
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 257
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 258
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 259
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 260
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 261
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 262
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 263
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 264
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 265
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 266
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 267
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 268
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 269
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 270
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 271
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 272
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 273
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 274
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 275
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 276
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 277
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 278
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 279
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 280
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 281
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 282
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 283
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 284
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 285
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 286
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 287
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 288
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 289
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 290
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 291
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
- 292
Frank Zappa - Magdalena
- 293
Frank Zappa - Magic Fingers
- 294
Frank Zappa - Mary Lou
- 295
Frank Zappa - Massagio Galore
- 296
Frank Zappa - Master Ringo
- 297
Frank Zappa - Meow
- 298
Frank Zappa - Moggio
- 299
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 300
Frank Zappa - Montana (Whipping Floss)
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!
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