- 1
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 2
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 3
La Dispute - King Park
- 4
La Dispute - Andria
- 5
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 6
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 7
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 8
La Dispute - A Poem
- 9
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 10
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 11
La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car
- 12
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 13
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 14
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 15
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 16
La Dispute - Seven
- 17
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 18
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 19
La Dispute - A Departure
- 20
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 21
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 22
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 23
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 24
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 25
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 26
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 27
La Dispute - One
- 28
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 29
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 30
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 31
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 32
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 33
La Dispute - Twelve
- 34
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
- 35
La Dispute - 35
- 36
La Dispute - A
- 37
La Dispute - A Letter
- 38
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 39
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 40
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 41
La Dispute - Eight
- 42
La Dispute - Eleven
- 43
La Dispute - End Times Sermon
- 44
La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film
- 45
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 46
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 47
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 48
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 49
La Dispute - Five
- 50
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 51
La Dispute - Four
- 52
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 53
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 54
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 55
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 56
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 57
La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In
- 58
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 59
La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In
- 60
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 61
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 62
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 63
La Dispute - Nine
- 64
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 65
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 66
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 67
La Dispute - Saturation Diver
- 68
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 69
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 70
La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards
- 71
La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound
- 72
La Dispute - Six
- 73
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 74
La Dispute - Steve
- 75
La Dispute - Ten
- 76
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 77
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 78
La Dispute - The Field
- 79
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 80
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 81
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 82
La Dispute - Three
- 83
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 84
La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet
- 85
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
- 86
La Dispute - Two
- 87
La Dispute - Untitled
- 88
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 89
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 90
La Dispute - You Ascendant
Why It Scares Me
La Dispute
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they're all acting,
At times I'm scared that I'm acting too. Like,
My movements or stage directions?
Was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?
Have I been taking my emotional cues from a script I wrote at sixteen?
Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I've touched.
Makes me question
Was it love or just lust?
Caked in blood or old rust?
I don't know.
Don't we remember all the moments we remember the best
Framed in poems and in pictures, sang aloud in refrains?
Does this cycle of pain and disdain for the past
Not work exactly the same?
Maybe it's just as much about what comes our way as it is about how we react.
Just as much about the things that we've still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know we won't always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we're still here, and we still breathe,
I guess we've still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I've been making up inside my head, and
To know what's real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way things go.
For the things that came, not the things I chose
to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it'd comfort me.
And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it-
I want to know all the love I've got.
And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute-
I want to know if a curtain drops.
