- 1
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 2
La Dispute - King Park
- 3
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 4
La Dispute - Andria
- 5
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 6
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 7
La Dispute - A Letter
- 8
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 9
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 10
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 11
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 12
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 13
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 14
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 15
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 16
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
- 17
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 18
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 19
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 20
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 21
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 22
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 23
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 24
La Dispute - Nine
- 25
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 26
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 27
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 28
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 29
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 30
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
- 31
La Dispute - 35
- 32
La Dispute - A
- 33
La Dispute - A Departure
- 34
La Dispute - A Poem
- 35
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 36
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 37
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 38
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 39
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 40
La Dispute - Eight
- 41
La Dispute - Eleven
- 42
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 43
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 44
La Dispute - Five
- 45
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 46
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 47
La Dispute - Four
- 48
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 49
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 50
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 51
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 52
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 53
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 54
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 55
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 56
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 57
La Dispute - One
- 58
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 59
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 60
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 61
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 62
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 63
La Dispute - Seven
- 64
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 65
La Dispute - Six
- 66
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 67
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 68
La Dispute - Steve
- 69
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 70
La Dispute - Ten
- 71
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 72
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 73
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 74
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 75
La Dispute - Three
- 76
La Dispute - Twelve
- 77
La Dispute - Two
- 78
La Dispute - Untitled
- 79
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 80
La Dispute - You Ascendant
Why It Scares Me
La Dispute
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they're all acting,
At times I'm scared that I'm acting too. Like,
My movements or stage directions?
Was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?
Have I been taking my emotional cues from a script I wrote at sixteen?
Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I've touched.
Makes me question
Was it love or just lust?
Caked in blood or old rust?
I don't know.
Don't we remember all the moments we remember the best
Framed in poems and in pictures, sang aloud in refrains?
Does this cycle of pain and disdain for the past
Not work exactly the same?
Maybe it's just as much about what comes our way as it is about how we react.
Just as much about the things that we've still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know we won't always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we're still here, and we still breathe,
I guess we've still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I've been making up inside my head, and
To know what's real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way things go.
For the things that came, not the things I chose
to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it'd comfort me.
And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it-
I want to know all the love I've got.
And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute-
I want to know if a curtain drops.
