- 1
La Dispute - King Park
- 2
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 3
La Dispute - Andria
- 4
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 5
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 6
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 7
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 8
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 9
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 10
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 11
La Dispute - Twelve
- 12
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 13
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 14
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 15
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 16
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 17
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 18
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 19
La Dispute - A Departure
- 20
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 21
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 22
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 23
La Dispute - Eight
- 24
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 25
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 26
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 27
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 28
La Dispute - One
- 29
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 30
La Dispute - Seven
- 31
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 32
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 33
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 34
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 35
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 36
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 37
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
- 38
La Dispute - 35
- 39
La Dispute - A
- 40
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 41
La Dispute - A Letter
- 42
La Dispute - A Poem
- 43
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 44
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 45
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 46
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 47
La Dispute - Eleven
- 48
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 49
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 50
La Dispute - Five
- 51
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 52
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 53
La Dispute - Four
- 54
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 55
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 56
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 57
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 58
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 59
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 60
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 61
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 62
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 63
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 64
La Dispute - Nine
- 65
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 66
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 67
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 68
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 69
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 70
La Dispute - Six
- 71
La Dispute - Steve
- 72
La Dispute - Ten
- 73
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 74
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 75
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 76
La Dispute - Three
- 77
La Dispute - Two
- 78
La Dispute - Untitled
- 79
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
- 80
La Dispute - You Ascendant
Why It Scares Me
La Dispute
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they're all acting,
At times I'm scared that I'm acting too. Like,
My movements or stage directions?
Was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?
Have I been taking my emotional cues from a script I wrote at sixteen?
Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I've touched.
Makes me question
Was it love or just lust?
Caked in blood or old rust?
I don't know.
Don't we remember all the moments we remember the best
Framed in poems and in pictures, sang aloud in refrains?
Does this cycle of pain and disdain for the past
Not work exactly the same?
Maybe it's just as much about what comes our way as it is about how we react.
Just as much about the things that we've still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know we won't always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we're still here, and we still breathe,
I guess we've still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I've been making up inside my head, and
To know what's real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way things go.
For the things that came, not the things I chose
to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it'd comfort me.
And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it-
I want to know all the love I've got.
And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute-
I want to know if a curtain drops.
