- 1
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 2
La Dispute - King Park
- 3
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 4
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 5
La Dispute - Andria
- 6
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 7
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 8
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 9
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 10
La Dispute - A Departure
- 11
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 12
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 13
La Dispute - A Letter
- 14
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 15
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 16
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 17
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 18
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 19
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 20
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 21
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 22
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 23
La Dispute - 35
- 24
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 25
La Dispute - End Times Sermon
- 26
La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film
- 27
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 28
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 29
La Dispute - Saturation Diver
- 30
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 31
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 32
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 33
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 34
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 35
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 36
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 37
La Dispute - Three
- 38
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 39
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 40
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 41
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 42
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 43
La Dispute - Eight
- 44
La Dispute - Eleven
- 45
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 46
La Dispute - Five
- 47
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 48
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 49
La Dispute - Four
- 50
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 51
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 52
La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In
- 53
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 54
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 55
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 56
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 57
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 58
La Dispute - Nine
- 59
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 60
La Dispute - One
- 61
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 62
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 63
La Dispute - Seven
- 64
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 65
La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound
- 66
La Dispute - Six
- 67
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 68
La Dispute - Ten
- 69
La Dispute - The Field
- 70
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 71
La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet
- 72
La Dispute - Twelve
- 73
La Dispute - Two
- 74
La Dispute - Untitled
- 75
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
- 76
La Dispute - You Ascendant
- 77
La Dispute - A
- 78
La Dispute - A Poem
- 79
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 80
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 81
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 82
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 83
La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In
- 84
La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car
- 85
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 86
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 87
La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards
- 88
La Dispute - Steve
- 89
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 90
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
A Letter
La Dispute
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.
I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.
Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.
Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-
Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.
And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.
And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So i haven't been.
Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?
I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.
But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.
Maybe i never tried at all
