- 1
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 2
La Dispute - King Park
- 3
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 4
La Dispute - Andria
- 5
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 6
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 7
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 8
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 9
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 10
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 11
La Dispute - A Departure
- 12
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 13
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 14
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 15
La Dispute - A Letter
- 16
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 17
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 18
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 19
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 20
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 21
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 22
La Dispute - 35
- 23
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 24
La Dispute - End Times Sermon
- 25
La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film
- 26
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 27
La Dispute - Nine
- 28
La Dispute - Saturation Diver
- 29
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 30
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 31
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 32
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 33
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 34
La Dispute - A Poem
- 35
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 36
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 37
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 38
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 39
La Dispute - Eleven
- 40
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 41
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 42
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 43
La Dispute - Four
- 44
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 45
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 46
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 47
La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In
- 48
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 49
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 50
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 51
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 52
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 53
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 54
La Dispute - One
- 55
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 56
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 57
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 58
La Dispute - Seven
- 59
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 60
La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound
- 61
La Dispute - Six
- 62
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 63
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 64
La Dispute - Ten
- 65
La Dispute - The Field
- 66
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 67
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 68
La Dispute - Three
- 69
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 70
La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet
- 71
La Dispute - Twelve
- 72
La Dispute - Two
- 73
La Dispute - Untitled
- 74
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
- 75
La Dispute - You Ascendant
- 76
La Dispute - A
- 77
La Dispute - Eight
- 78
La Dispute - Five
- 79
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 80
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 81
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 82
La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In
- 83
La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car
- 84
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 85
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 86
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 87
La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards
- 88
La Dispute - Steve
- 89
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 90
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
Why It Scares Me
La Dispute
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they're all acting,
At times I'm scared that I'm acting too. Like,
My movements or stage directions?
Was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?
Have I been taking my emotional cues from a script I wrote at sixteen?
Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I've touched.
Makes me question
Was it love or just lust?
Caked in blood or old rust?
I don't know.
Don't we remember all the moments we remember the best
Framed in poems and in pictures, sang aloud in refrains?
Does this cycle of pain and disdain for the past
Not work exactly the same?
Maybe it's just as much about what comes our way as it is about how we react.
Just as much about the things that we've still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know we won't always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we're still here, and we still breathe,
I guess we've still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I've been making up inside my head, and
To know what's real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way things go.
For the things that came, not the things I chose
to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it'd comfort me.
And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it-
I want to know all the love I've got.
And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute-
I want to know if a curtain drops.
