- 1
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 2
La Dispute - King Park
- 3
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 4
La Dispute - Andria
- 5
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 6
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 7
La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film
- 8
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 9
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 10
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 11
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 12
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 13
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 14
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 15
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 16
La Dispute - You Ascendant
- 17
La Dispute - A
- 18
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 19
La Dispute - A Letter
- 20
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 21
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 22
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 23
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 24
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 25
La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound
- 26
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 27
La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet
- 28
La Dispute - A Poem
- 29
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 30
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 31
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 32
La Dispute - Eight
- 33
La Dispute - Eleven
- 34
La Dispute - End Times Sermon
- 35
La Dispute - Five
- 36
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 37
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 38
La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In
- 39
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 40
La Dispute - Nine
- 41
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 42
La Dispute - Saturation Diver
- 43
La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards
- 44
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 45
La Dispute - The Field
- 46
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 47
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
- 48
La Dispute - 35
- 49
La Dispute - A Departure
- 50
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 51
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 52
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 53
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 54
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 55
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 56
La Dispute - Four
- 57
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 58
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 59
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 60
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 61
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 62
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 63
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 64
La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In
- 65
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 66
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 67
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 68
La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car
- 69
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 70
La Dispute - One
- 71
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 72
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 73
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 74
La Dispute - Seven
- 75
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 76
La Dispute - Six
- 77
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 78
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 79
La Dispute - Steve
- 80
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 81
La Dispute - Ten
- 82
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 83
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 84
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 85
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 86
La Dispute - Three
- 87
La Dispute - Twelve
- 88
La Dispute - Two
- 89
La Dispute - Untitled
- 90
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
Why It Scares Me
La Dispute
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they're all acting,
At times I'm scared that I'm acting too. Like,
My movements or stage directions?
Was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?
Have I been taking my emotional cues from a script I wrote at sixteen?
Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I've touched.
Makes me question
Was it love or just lust?
Caked in blood or old rust?
I don't know.
Don't we remember all the moments we remember the best
Framed in poems and in pictures, sang aloud in refrains?
Does this cycle of pain and disdain for the past
Not work exactly the same?
Maybe it's just as much about what comes our way as it is about how we react.
Just as much about the things that we've still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know we won't always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we're still here, and we still breathe,
I guess we've still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I've been making up inside my head, and
To know what's real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way things go.
For the things that came, not the things I chose
to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it'd comfort me.
And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it-
I want to know all the love I've got.
And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute-
I want to know if a curtain drops.
