1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - King Park

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Andria

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  6. 6

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  8. 8

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Nine

  10. 10

    La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film

  11. 11

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  12. 12

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  13. 13

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  14. 14

    La Dispute - A Letter

  15. 15

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  18. 18

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  19. 19

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  20. 20

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  22. 22

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  23. 23

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  27. 27

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  28. 28

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  29. 29

    La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  31. 31

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  32. 32

    La Dispute - 35

  33. 33

    La Dispute - A

  34. 34

    La Dispute - A Departure

  35. 35

    La Dispute - A Poem

  36. 36

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Eight

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Eleven

  42. 42

    La Dispute - End Times Sermon

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  44. 44

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Five

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Four

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  50. 50

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  51. 51

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  52. 52

    La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In

  53. 53

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In

  55. 55

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  58. 58

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  60. 60

    La Dispute - One

  61. 61

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Saturation Diver

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  67. 67

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards

  69. 69

    La Dispute - Seven

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound

  72. 72

    La Dispute - Six

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Steve

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Ten

  76. 76

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  77. 77

    La Dispute - The Field

  78. 78

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  79. 79

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  80. 80

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  81. 81

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  82. 82

    La Dispute - Three

  83. 83

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  84. 84

    La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet

  85. 85

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  86. 86

    La Dispute - Twelve

  87. 87

    La Dispute - Two

  88. 88

    La Dispute - Untitled

  89. 89

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  90. 90

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

A Letter

La Dispute

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.

I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.

And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.

And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So i haven't been.

Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?

I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.

But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.

Maybe i never tried at all

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