1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - King Park

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Andria

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  8. 8

    La Dispute - A Poem

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  10. 10

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  11. 11

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  13. 13

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  14. 14

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  15. 15

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  17. 17

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  18. 18

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  20. 20

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  21. 21

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  23. 23

    La Dispute - A

  24. 24

    La Dispute - A Departure

  25. 25

    La Dispute - A Letter

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  28. 28

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  31. 31

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  32. 32

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  33. 33

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  34. 34

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  35. 35

    La Dispute - Nine

  36. 36

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  37. 37

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  38. 38

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  39. 39

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  40. 40

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  41. 41

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Twelve

  43. 43

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

  44. 44

    La Dispute - 35

  45. 45

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Eight

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Eleven

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  51. 51

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Five

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Four

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  55. 55

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  57. 57

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  58. 58

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  61. 61

    La Dispute - One

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  65. 65

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Seven

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Six

  69. 69

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Steve

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  72. 72

    La Dispute - Ten

  73. 73

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Three

  77. 77

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  78. 78

    La Dispute - Two

  79. 79

    La Dispute - Untitled

  80. 80

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

A Letter

La Dispute

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.

I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.

And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.

And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So i haven't been.

Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?

I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.

But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.

Maybe i never tried at all

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