1. 1

    La Dispute - King Park

  2. 2

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Andria

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  5. 5

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  8. 8

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  10. 10

    La Dispute - A Departure

  11. 11

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  12. 12

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  13. 13

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  14. 14

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  15. 15

    La Dispute - A Letter

  16. 16

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Eight

  20. 20

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  22. 22

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  23. 23

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Nine

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  28. 28

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  30. 30

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  31. 31

    La Dispute - 35

  32. 32

    La Dispute - A

  33. 33

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  34. 34

    La Dispute - A Poem

  35. 35

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  36. 36

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Eleven

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  42. 42

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Five

  44. 44

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  45. 45

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Four

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  49. 49

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  51. 51

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  53. 53

    La Dispute - One

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  55. 55

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  58. 58

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Seven

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  61. 61

    La Dispute - Six

  62. 62

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Ten

  66. 66

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  67. 67

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  69. 69

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Three

  72. 72

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Twelve

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Two

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Untitled

  77. 77

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  78. 78

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  79. 79

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

A Letter

La Dispute

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.

I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.

And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.

And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So i haven't been.

Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?

I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.

But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.

Maybe i never tried at all

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