1. 1

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  2. 2

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  3. 3

    La Dispute - King Park

  4. 4

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Andria

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  7. 7

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  8. 8

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  9. 9

    La Dispute - A Poem

  10. 10

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  11. 11

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  13. 13

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  14. 14

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  15. 15

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Nine

  17. 17

    La Dispute - One

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  20. 20

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  23. 23

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  28. 28

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  31. 31

    La Dispute - Seven

  32. 32

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  33. 33

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  34. 34

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  35. 35

    La Dispute - 35

  36. 36

    La Dispute - A

  37. 37

    La Dispute - A Departure

  38. 38

    La Dispute - A Letter

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Eight

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Eleven

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  44. 44

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Five

  46. 46

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Four

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  51. 51

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  52. 52

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  54. 54

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  55. 55

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  57. 57

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  61. 61

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Six

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Steve

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Ten

  68. 68

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  69. 69

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  70. 70

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Three

  72. 72

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Twelve

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Two

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Untitled

  77. 77

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  78. 78

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  79. 79

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  80. 80

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

A Letter

La Dispute

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.

I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.

And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.

And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So i haven't been.

Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?

I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.

But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.

Maybe i never tried at all

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