1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  3. 3

    La Dispute - King Park

  4. 4

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Andria

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  7. 7

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  8. 8

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  10. 10

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  11. 11

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  12. 12

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  13. 13

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  14. 14

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  15. 15

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  18. 18

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  20. 20

    La Dispute - A Poem

  21. 21

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  23. 23

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  25. 25

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  27. 27

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  28. 28

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Nine

  30. 30

    La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car

  31. 31

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  32. 32

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  33. 33

    La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound

  34. 34

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  35. 35

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  36. 36

    La Dispute - 35

  37. 37

    La Dispute - A

  38. 38

    La Dispute - A Departure

  39. 39

    La Dispute - A Letter

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Eight

  44. 44

    La Dispute - Eleven

  45. 45

    La Dispute - End Times Sermon

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Five

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Four

  51. 51

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  54. 54

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  55. 55

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  57. 57

    La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In

  58. 58

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  61. 61

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  64. 64

    La Dispute - One

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Saturation Diver

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  69. 69

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Seven

  72. 72

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Six

  74. 74

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Steve

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Ten

  77. 77

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  78. 78

    La Dispute - The Field

  79. 79

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  80. 80

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  81. 81

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  82. 82

    La Dispute - Three

  83. 83

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  84. 84

    La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet

  85. 85

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  86. 86

    La Dispute - Twelve

  87. 87

    La Dispute - Two

  88. 88

    La Dispute - Untitled

  89. 89

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  90. 90

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

A Letter

La Dispute

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.

I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.

And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.

And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So i haven't been.

Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?

I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.

But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.

Maybe i never tried at all

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