- 1
La Dispute - Such Small Hands
- 2
La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)
- 3
La Dispute - King Park
- 4
La Dispute - Andria
- 5
La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In
- 6
La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain
- 7
La Dispute - A Letter
- 8
La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent
- 9
La Dispute - A Broken Jar
- 10
La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times
- 11
La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit
- 12
La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks
- 13
La Dispute - Twelve
- 14
La Dispute - You And I In Unison
- 15
La Dispute - 35
- 16
La Dispute - A Poem
- 17
La Dispute - Bury Your Flames
- 18
La Dispute - Damaged Goods
- 19
La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown
- 20
La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film
- 21
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
- 22
La Dispute - How I Feel
- 23
La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles
- 24
La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers
- 25
La Dispute - Said the King To the River
- 26
La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound
- 27
La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues
- 28
La Dispute - Stay Happy There
- 29
La Dispute - Woman (Reading)
- 30
La Dispute - A Departure
- 31
La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning
- 32
La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama
- 33
La Dispute - Eight
- 34
La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice
- 35
La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville
- 36
La Dispute - Four
- 37
La Dispute - Harder Harmonies
- 38
La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi
- 39
La Dispute - I See Everything
- 40
La Dispute - I Shaved My Head
- 41
La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In
- 42
La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound
- 43
La Dispute - Nine
- 44
La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief
- 45
La Dispute - See You In Vancouver
- 46
La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards
- 47
La Dispute - Six
- 48
La Dispute - The Castle Builders
- 49
La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist
- 50
La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right
- 51
La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms
- 52
La Dispute - Two
- 53
La Dispute - Untitled
- 54
La Dispute - Why It Scares Me
- 55
La Dispute - A
- 56
La Dispute - Autofiction detail
- 57
La Dispute - Eleven
- 58
La Dispute - End Times Sermon
- 59
La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party
- 60
La Dispute - Fairmount
- 61
La Dispute - Five
- 62
La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond
- 63
La Dispute - Fulton Street I
- 64
La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii
- 65
La Dispute - Future Wars
- 66
La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid
- 67
La Dispute - In Northern Michigan
- 68
La Dispute - Last Blues
- 69
La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car
- 70
La Dispute - Objects In Space
- 71
La Dispute - One
- 72
La Dispute - Only Everything Below
- 73
La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies
- 74
La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan
- 75
La Dispute - Saturation Diver
- 76
La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009
- 77
La Dispute - Seven
- 78
La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power
- 79
La Dispute - Steve
- 80
La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral
- 81
La Dispute - Ten
- 82
La Dispute - The Child We Lost
- 83
La Dispute - The Field
- 84
La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)
- 85
La Dispute - Thirteen
- 86
La Dispute - Three
- 87
La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet
- 88
La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas
- 89
La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window
- 90
La Dispute - You Ascendant
A Letter
La Dispute
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.
I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.
Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don't know that i had total control over it.
And i'm not sure it even matters why.
Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I'd-and keep your mouths-
Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I'm not, i…i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.
And i don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders, i know better than anyone.
And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So i haven't been.
Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn't you?
I know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know i've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.
But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.
Maybe i never tried at all
