1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  3. 3

    La Dispute - King Park

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Andria

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  6. 6

    La Dispute - A Departure

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  8. 8

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  9. 9

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  10. 10

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  11. 11

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  12. 12

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  13. 13

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  14. 14

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  15. 15

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  18. 18

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  20. 20

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Environmental Catastrophe Film

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  23. 23

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Landlord Calls The Sheriff In

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Nine

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  28. 28

    La Dispute - Steve

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  30. 30

    La Dispute - 35

  31. 31

    La Dispute - A

  32. 32

    La Dispute - A Letter

  33. 33

    La Dispute - A Poem

  34. 34

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  35. 35

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  36. 36

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Eight

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Eleven

  40. 40

    La Dispute - End Times Sermon

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  44. 44

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Five

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  47. 47

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Four

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  51. 51

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  52. 52

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  53. 53

    La Dispute - I Dreamt Of A Room With All My Friends I Could Not Get In

  54. 54

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  55. 55

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  59. 59

    La Dispute - No One Was Driving The Car

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  61. 61

    La Dispute - One

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Saturation Diver

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  66. 66

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Self-Portrait Backwards

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Seven

  69. 69

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Sibling Fistfight at Mom's Fiftieth / The Un-Sound

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Six

  72. 72

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Ten

  75. 75

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  76. 76

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  77. 77

    La Dispute - The Field

  78. 78

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  79. 79

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  80. 80

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  81. 81

    La Dispute - Three

  82. 82

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  83. 83

    La Dispute - Top-Sellers Banquet

  84. 84

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  85. 85

    La Dispute - Twelve

  86. 86

    La Dispute - Two

  87. 87

    La Dispute - Untitled

  88. 88

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  89. 89

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  90. 90

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

La Dispute

After sundown, before sleeping, i am the worst of me. i am a mess of these
Old themes and the murmur of half-dreams whisper seductively and
Stage scenes.
It's fear fiction, these visions, caught somewhere between delusion and prophesy.
What i haven't done, what i've wanted to, and what i fear you have
Becomes reality here.

Bright lights in the young night keep to the beat.
A classic party scene, crowded and interesting.
No love, no life, no history.
Just touch, just chemistry, just
A roaring undercurrent simple and sensory.
Young bodies, warm skin, perfect symmetry and
It's a moment, harmless. it's energy.
It's like medicine,
It's self-discovery.

See, all the secrets i keep, why are they secrets?

It's only temporary, that fleeting feeling of warmth,
Just a flash before the line gets blurry,
Between a longing for more than what the body wants now and
What the body wants now more than anything.
Was it integrity that kept my hands to myself or
Just the thought of getting too far ahead of you?
Was it that i got too tired of the consequence?
Or was i just scared?

I only know i never wanted to get left behind.

No pauses, not a second guess.
First a swaying then a stumble then a swagger.
They're just movements towards feeling. it doesn't matter
Neither hesitates to carry on a kind of energy,
Sweat and block out everything to
Find every aperture and compel the animal parts.
Fan flames, taste fruit, taste bitter fruit.
Just trying to learn how all the wires in the body work.
Just trying to feel it out, it's like medicine.
Trap the healing in whatever bed they end up in.

I want to feel it out. i want to know how it works.
I want to know if it was worth it to worry,
About the ghosts i feared would haunt the memory,
About the damage that i'm sure the fear has done to me now.
I want to know what it is in me that won't follow through
Those nights the instinct takes a hold of me and pushes too.
Maybe it's only that i've never gotten over you.

Or am i still scared?

I see the church steps, a vision. is there fiction in this one too?
It's true, i've made a tale of it here, still, it's a little unclear who's been haunting who.
And time can be such a funny thing, always moving to the future
Glorifying the past and amplifying the pain in frames and glass.
So was our touch half as sacred as i've made it seem
Or just another fabrication of a half-dream?
Just those chemicals, the adolescent love.
Just us trying to grasp onto meaning,
Onto a purpose,
Onto a sense that
Something spiritual releases when the feeling hits.

And when the feeling hits.

And in that moment sparks and harps play out
A sweeping melody through fog and fantasy
And in that moment there's an honesty instinctive and pure but
It departs like it came, rapid and bearing no more
Than fleeting ecstasy of natural harmony.
They fear the notes being played and try to sing along.
Don't be ashamed, be free to the feeling. don't be ashamed, keep feeling.
But find it: a body that makes sense.

I've felt it.

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