1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - King Park

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Andria

  5. 5

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  8. 8

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  10. 10

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  11. 11

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  13. 13

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  14. 14

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  15. 15

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  16. 16

    La Dispute - A Departure

  17. 17

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  20. 20

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  22. 22

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  23. 23

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Steve

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  26. 26

    La Dispute - 35

  27. 27

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  28. 28

    La Dispute - A Letter

  29. 29

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  31. 31

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  32. 32

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  33. 33

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  34. 34

    La Dispute - Five

  35. 35

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  36. 36

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Four

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  44. 44

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Ten

  46. 46

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  47. 47

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Twelve

  49. 49

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  50. 50

    La Dispute - A

  51. 51

    La Dispute - A Poem

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Eight

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Eleven

  55. 55

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  59. 59

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  60. 60

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  61. 61

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Nine

  64. 64

    La Dispute - One

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  66. 66

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Seven

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  69. 69

    La Dispute - Six

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  71. 71

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  72. 72

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  73. 73

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Three

  76. 76

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  77. 77

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  78. 78

    La Dispute - Two

  79. 79

    La Dispute - Untitled

  80. 80

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

I Shaved My Head

La Dispute

I shaved my head in the sink
I left the water running
I watched my hair block the drain
And on the bathroom's flooding ground
Built no ark for myself
I longed for end times coming
I understood what it meant
To need to kill to reset
This stranger standing reflected
With my old image blending
Inside the mirror before me
The death of self portended by
All the years that I spent closing my eyes
To try to change what I'd become now in life
To die and start again

I fixed my eyes on the light above
The level rising
And let it swallow me whole
All gaps from floor to ceiling closed
Up and onto my neck
The steady water flowing
Then climbing over my head
I shut them tight to accept

As if in amber suspended
Both arms and legs extended
The pressure bending the glass
Then shattered out and down I went
Forces pulling to the surface of earth
Like some raptured body played in reverse
To start and die again

Two summers past
At the bathroom sink and standing
Shirtless cutting my beard
You came in to sit and talk
I watched you watch in the mirror
Brought the trimmer grinning up to my head
Said: Hey I'd never have to pay to get my hair cut again
Nervous laugh
Said: You wouldn't
Interrupted when the trimmer lowered
Fistfuls of hair falling softly down
To the floor before you

And you cried for a minute when I did
Like a child who saw their father for the first time
With a shaven face

A subtle change
A sudden stranger

Made and then betrayed
The shape turned unfamiliar

First I thought you were scared
That I could never grow it back again
Now I see at least six months passed
Since you'd recognized me

A decade spent dissociating
Backwards from the past
Inside alive and laughing
Still

A minor change in desperation
A minor change in desperation
The mirrored shape my bent reflection made

Shaved my head to force a change

To be un-recognized

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