1. 1

    La Dispute - King Park

  2. 2

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Andria

  5. 5

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  6. 6

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  7. 7

    La Dispute - A Letter

  8. 8

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  10. 10

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  11. 11

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  13. 13

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  14. 14

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  15. 15

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  18. 18

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  19. 19

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  20. 20

    La Dispute - Twelve

  21. 21

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  22. 22

    La Dispute - 35

  23. 23

    La Dispute - A

  24. 24

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  25. 25

    La Dispute - A Departure

  26. 26

    La Dispute - A Poem

  27. 27

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  28. 28

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  31. 31

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  32. 32

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  33. 33

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  34. 34

    La Dispute - Eight

  35. 35

    La Dispute - Eleven

  36. 36

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  38. 38

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Five

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  41. 41

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Four

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  44. 44

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  45. 45

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  46. 46

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  48. 48

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  51. 51

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  52. 52

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Nine

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  55. 55

    La Dispute - One

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  60. 60

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  61. 61

    La Dispute - Seven

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Six

  64. 64

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Ten

  68. 68

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  69. 69

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  70. 70

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  72. 72

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Three

  75. 75

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Two

  77. 77

    La Dispute - Untitled

  78. 78

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  79. 79

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

I Shaved My Head

La Dispute

I shaved my head in the sink
I left the water running
I watched my hair block the drain
And on the bathroom's flooding ground
Built no ark for myself
I longed for end times coming
I understood what it meant
To need to kill to reset
This stranger standing reflected
With my old image blending
Inside the mirror before me
The death of self portended by
All the years that I spent closing my eyes
To try to change what I'd become now in life
To die and start again

I fixed my eyes on the light above
The level rising
And let it swallow me whole
All gaps from floor to ceiling closed
Up and onto my neck
The steady water flowing
Then climbing over my head
I shut them tight to accept

As if in amber suspended
Both arms and legs extended
The pressure bending the glass
Then shattered out and down I went
Forces pulling to the surface of earth
Like some raptured body played in reverse
To start and die again

Two summers past
At the bathroom sink and standing
Shirtless cutting my beard
You came in to sit and talk
I watched you watch in the mirror
Brought the trimmer grinning up to my head
Said: Hey I'd never have to pay to get my hair cut again
Nervous laugh
Said: You wouldn't
Interrupted when the trimmer lowered
Fistfuls of hair falling softly down
To the floor before you

And you cried for a minute when I did
Like a child who saw their father for the first time
With a shaven face

A subtle change
A sudden stranger

Made and then betrayed
The shape turned unfamiliar

First I thought you were scared
That I could never grow it back again
Now I see at least six months passed
Since you'd recognized me

A decade spent dissociating
Backwards from the past
Inside alive and laughing
Still

A minor change in desperation
A minor change in desperation
The mirrored shape my bent reflection made

Shaved my head to force a change

To be un-recognized

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