1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - King Park

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  5. 5

    La Dispute - A Letter

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Andria

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  8. 8

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  9. 9

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  10. 10

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  11. 11

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  13. 13

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  14. 14

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  15. 15

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  16. 16

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  20. 20

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  21. 21

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  23. 23

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  27. 27

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  28. 28

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  31. 31

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

  32. 32

    La Dispute - 35

  33. 33

    La Dispute - A

  34. 34

    La Dispute - A Departure

  35. 35

    La Dispute - A Poem

  36. 36

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Eight

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Eleven

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Five

  44. 44

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Four

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  50. 50

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  51. 51

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  55. 55

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Nine

  57. 57

    La Dispute - One

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  61. 61

    La Dispute - Seven

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Six

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Steve

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Ten

  68. 68

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  69. 69

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  70. 70

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  72. 72

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Three

  74. 74

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Twelve

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Two

  77. 77

    La Dispute - Untitled

  78. 78

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  79. 79

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  80. 80

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

I Shaved My Head

La Dispute

I shaved my head in the sink
I left the water running
I watched my hair block the drain
And on the bathroom's flooding ground
Built no ark for myself
I longed for end times coming
I understood what it meant
To need to kill to reset
This stranger standing reflected
With my old image blending
Inside the mirror before me
The death of self portended by
All the years that I spent closing my eyes
To try to change what I'd become now in life
To die and start again

I fixed my eyes on the light above
The level rising
And let it swallow me whole
All gaps from floor to ceiling closed
Up and onto my neck
The steady water flowing
Then climbing over my head
I shut them tight to accept

As if in amber suspended
Both arms and legs extended
The pressure bending the glass
Then shattered out and down I went
Forces pulling to the surface of earth
Like some raptured body played in reverse
To start and die again

Two summers past
At the bathroom sink and standing
Shirtless cutting my beard
You came in to sit and talk
I watched you watch in the mirror
Brought the trimmer grinning up to my head
Said: Hey I'd never have to pay to get my hair cut again
Nervous laugh
Said: You wouldn't
Interrupted when the trimmer lowered
Fistfuls of hair falling softly down
To the floor before you

And you cried for a minute when I did
Like a child who saw their father for the first time
With a shaven face

A subtle change
A sudden stranger

Made and then betrayed
The shape turned unfamiliar

First I thought you were scared
That I could never grow it back again
Now I see at least six months passed
Since you'd recognized me

A decade spent dissociating
Backwards from the past
Inside alive and laughing
Still

A minor change in desperation
A minor change in desperation
The mirrored shape my bent reflection made

Shaved my head to force a change

To be un-recognized

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