1. 1

    La Dispute - King Park

  2. 2

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Andria

  4. 4

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  7. 7

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  8. 8

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Twelve

  10. 10

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  11. 11

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  13. 13

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  14. 14

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  15. 15

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Eight

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  20. 20

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  23. 23

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  24. 24

    La Dispute - One

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Seven

  28. 28

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  30. 30

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  31. 31

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  32. 32

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  33. 33

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  34. 34

    La Dispute - 35

  35. 35

    La Dispute - A

  36. 36

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  37. 37

    La Dispute - A Departure

  38. 38

    La Dispute - A Letter

  39. 39

    La Dispute - A Poem

  40. 40

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  44. 44

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Eleven

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  48. 48

    La Dispute - Five

  49. 49

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  50. 50

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  51. 51

    La Dispute - Four

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  54. 54

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  55. 55

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  56. 56

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  57. 57

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  61. 61

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Nine

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  67. 67

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Six

  69. 69

    La Dispute - Steve

  70. 70

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Ten

  72. 72

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  73. 73

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Three

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  77. 77

    La Dispute - Two

  78. 78

    La Dispute - Untitled

  79. 79

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  80. 80

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

I Shaved My Head

La Dispute

I shaved my head in the sink
I left the water running
I watched my hair block the drain
And on the bathroom's flooding ground
Built no ark for myself
I longed for end times coming
I understood what it meant
To need to kill to reset
This stranger standing reflected
With my old image blending
Inside the mirror before me
The death of self portended by
All the years that I spent closing my eyes
To try to change what I'd become now in life
To die and start again

I fixed my eyes on the light above
The level rising
And let it swallow me whole
All gaps from floor to ceiling closed
Up and onto my neck
The steady water flowing
Then climbing over my head
I shut them tight to accept

As if in amber suspended
Both arms and legs extended
The pressure bending the glass
Then shattered out and down I went
Forces pulling to the surface of earth
Like some raptured body played in reverse
To start and die again

Two summers past
At the bathroom sink and standing
Shirtless cutting my beard
You came in to sit and talk
I watched you watch in the mirror
Brought the trimmer grinning up to my head
Said: Hey I'd never have to pay to get my hair cut again
Nervous laugh
Said: You wouldn't
Interrupted when the trimmer lowered
Fistfuls of hair falling softly down
To the floor before you

And you cried for a minute when I did
Like a child who saw their father for the first time
With a shaven face

A subtle change
A sudden stranger

Made and then betrayed
The shape turned unfamiliar

First I thought you were scared
That I could never grow it back again
Now I see at least six months passed
Since you'd recognized me

A decade spent dissociating
Backwards from the past
Inside alive and laughing
Still

A minor change in desperation
A minor change in desperation
The mirrored shape my bent reflection made

Shaved my head to force a change

To be un-recognized

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