1. 1

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  2. 2

    La Dispute - King Park

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  6. 6

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  8. 8

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  9. 9

    La Dispute - Five

  10. 10

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  11. 11

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  12. 12

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  13. 13

    La Dispute - Andria

  14. 14

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  15. 15

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  17. 17

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Nine

  19. 19

    La Dispute - One

  20. 20

    La Dispute - A Departure

  21. 21

    La Dispute - A Letter

  22. 22

    La Dispute - A Poem

  23. 23

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  26. 26

    La Dispute - Eleven

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  28. 28

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  29. 29

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  30. 30

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  31. 31

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  32. 32

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  33. 33

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  34. 34

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  35. 35

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  36. 36

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Ten

  39. 39

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  40. 40

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  41. 41

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  42. 42

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  44. 44

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Twelve

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Untitled

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  48. 48

    La Dispute - 35

  49. 49

    La Dispute - A

  50. 50

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  51. 51

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  53. 53

    La Dispute - Eight

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  55. 55

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  56. 56

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Four

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  60. 60

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  61. 61

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  62. 62

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  67. 67

    La Dispute - Seven

  68. 68

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  69. 69

    La Dispute - Six

  70. 70

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  71. 71

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  72. 72

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  73. 73

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  74. 74

    La Dispute - Three

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Two

  77. 77

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  78. 78

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  79. 79

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

I Shaved My Head

La Dispute

I shaved my head in the sink
I left the water running
I watched my hair block the drain
And on the bathroom's flooding ground
Built no ark for myself
I longed for end times coming
I understood what it meant
To need to kill to reset
This stranger standing reflected
With my old image blending
Inside the mirror before me
The death of self portended by
All the years that I spent closing my eyes
To try to change what I'd become now in life
To die and start again

I fixed my eyes on the light above
The level rising
And let it swallow me whole
All gaps from floor to ceiling closed
Up and onto my neck
The steady water flowing
Then climbing over my head
I shut them tight to accept

As if in amber suspended
Both arms and legs extended
The pressure bending the glass
Then shattered out and down I went
Forces pulling to the surface of earth
Like some raptured body played in reverse
To start and die again

Two summers past
At the bathroom sink and standing
Shirtless cutting my beard
You came in to sit and talk
I watched you watch in the mirror
Brought the trimmer grinning up to my head
Said: Hey I'd never have to pay to get my hair cut again
Nervous laugh
Said: You wouldn't
Interrupted when the trimmer lowered
Fistfuls of hair falling softly down
To the floor before you

And you cried for a minute when I did
Like a child who saw their father for the first time
With a shaven face

A subtle change
A sudden stranger

Made and then betrayed
The shape turned unfamiliar

First I thought you were scared
That I could never grow it back again
Now I see at least six months passed
Since you'd recognized me

A decade spent dissociating
Backwards from the past
Inside alive and laughing
Still

A minor change in desperation
A minor change in desperation
The mirrored shape my bent reflection made

Shaved my head to force a change

To be un-recognized

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