1. 1

    La Dispute - Woman (In Mirror)

  2. 2

    La Dispute - King Park

  3. 3

    La Dispute - Such Small Hands

  4. 4

    La Dispute - Andria

  5. 5

    La Dispute - Nobody, Not Even the Rain

  6. 6

    La Dispute - A Letter

  7. 7

    La Dispute - Bury Your Flames

  8. 8

    La Dispute - How I Feel

  9. 9

    La Dispute - I Shaved My Head

  10. 10

    La Dispute - Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

  11. 11

    La Dispute - See You In Vancouver

  12. 12

    La Dispute - The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

  13. 13

    La Dispute - Twas The Night Before Christmas

  14. 14

    La Dispute - A Broken Jar

  15. 15

    La Dispute - All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks

  16. 16

    La Dispute - Autofiction detail

  17. 17

    La Dispute - Extraordinary Dinner Party

  18. 18

    La Dispute - Fairmount

  19. 19

    La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

  20. 20

    La Dispute - First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice

  21. 21

    La Dispute - Footsteps At The Pond

  22. 22

    La Dispute - Hudsonville Mi

  23. 23

    La Dispute - I See Everything

  24. 24

    La Dispute - Objects In Space

  25. 25

    La Dispute - Said the King To the River

  26. 26

    La Dispute - St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church Blues

  27. 27

    La Dispute - Thirteen

  28. 28

    La Dispute - Why It Scares Me

  29. 29

    La Dispute - You And I In Unison

  30. 30

    La Dispute - 35

  31. 31

    La Dispute - A

  32. 32

    La Dispute - A Departure

  33. 33

    La Dispute - A Poem

  34. 34

    La Dispute - A Word Of Welcome And Of Warning

  35. 35

    La Dispute - Anxiety Panorama

  36. 36

    La Dispute - Damaged Goods

  37. 37

    La Dispute - Edit Your Hometown

  38. 38

    La Dispute - Edward Benz, 27 Times

  39. 39

    La Dispute - Eight

  40. 40

    La Dispute - Eleven

  41. 41

    La Dispute - Five

  42. 42

    La Dispute - For Mayor in Splitsville

  43. 43

    La Dispute - Four

  44. 44

    La Dispute - Fulton Street I

  45. 45

    La Dispute - Fulton Street Ii

  46. 46

    La Dispute - Future Wars

  47. 47

    La Dispute - Harder Harmonies

  48. 48

    La Dispute - He Is Here, He Is Not Afraid

  49. 49

    La Dispute - In Northern Michigan

  50. 50

    La Dispute - Last Blues

  51. 51

    La Dispute - Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

  52. 52

    La Dispute - Man With Hands And Ankles Bound

  53. 53

    La Dispute - New Storms For Older Lovers

  54. 54

    La Dispute - Nine

  55. 55

    La Dispute - One

  56. 56

    La Dispute - Only Everything Below

  57. 57

    La Dispute - Rhodonite And Grief

  58. 58

    La Dispute - Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

  59. 59

    La Dispute - Scenes from Highways 1981-2009

  60. 60

    La Dispute - Seven

  61. 61

    La Dispute - Shall Never Lose It's Power

  62. 62

    La Dispute - Six

  63. 63

    La Dispute - Stay Happy There

  64. 64

    La Dispute - Steve

  65. 65

    La Dispute - Sunday Morning, At a Funeral

  66. 66

    La Dispute - Ten

  67. 67

    La Dispute - The Castle Builders

  68. 68

    La Dispute - The Child We Lost

  69. 69

    La Dispute - The Last Lost Continent

  70. 70

    La Dispute - The Surgeon And The Scientist

  71. 71

    La Dispute - Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

  72. 72

    La Dispute - There You Are (Hiding Place)

  73. 73

    La Dispute - Three

  74. 74

    La Dispute - To Withstand The Force Of Storms

  75. 75

    La Dispute - Twelve

  76. 76

    La Dispute - Two

  77. 77

    La Dispute - Untitled

  78. 78

    La Dispute - View From Our Bedroom Window

  79. 79

    La Dispute - Woman (Reading)

  80. 80

    La Dispute - You Ascendant

I Shaved My Head

La Dispute

I shaved my head in the sink
I left the water running
I watched my hair block the drain
And on the bathroom's flooding ground
Built no ark for myself
I longed for end times coming
I understood what it meant
To need to kill to reset
This stranger standing reflected
With my old image blending
Inside the mirror before me
The death of self portended by
All the years that I spent closing my eyes
To try to change what I'd become now in life
To die and start again

I fixed my eyes on the light above
The level rising
And let it swallow me whole
All gaps from floor to ceiling closed
Up and onto my neck
The steady water flowing
Then climbing over my head
I shut them tight to accept

As if in amber suspended
Both arms and legs extended
The pressure bending the glass
Then shattered out and down I went
Forces pulling to the surface of earth
Like some raptured body played in reverse
To start and die again

Two summers past
At the bathroom sink and standing
Shirtless cutting my beard
You came in to sit and talk
I watched you watch in the mirror
Brought the trimmer grinning up to my head
Said: Hey I'd never have to pay to get my hair cut again
Nervous laugh
Said: You wouldn't
Interrupted when the trimmer lowered
Fistfuls of hair falling softly down
To the floor before you

And you cried for a minute when I did
Like a child who saw their father for the first time
With a shaven face

A subtle change
A sudden stranger

Made and then betrayed
The shape turned unfamiliar

First I thought you were scared
That I could never grow it back again
Now I see at least six months passed
Since you'd recognized me

A decade spent dissociating
Backwards from the past
Inside alive and laughing
Still

A minor change in desperation
A minor change in desperation
The mirrored shape my bent reflection made

Shaved my head to force a change

To be un-recognized

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